Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Flight Fears

3/29/11 – Contrary to popular belief I did not have chemo today.  When I went to chemo on the 15th I asked if I could have 2 weeks between my next treatment so I would be healthy when I go to D.C. to visit my sister and brother-in-law.  I was expecting a little push back, but she said “sure”, just as sweet as you please.  Now, if only everything could be that easy.
I’ve enjoyed my 2 week reprieve from chemo.  I am probably going to be very disappointed when I have to go back next week.  It’s nice feeling so good for a longer stretch.  Makes me feel a little more normal. 
I am super excited about my trip to D.C.  I have lots of things planned.  We fly out on a Thursday and I knew there was no way I was going to get on a plane feeling like I normally do on Thursdays of chemo week – like I’ve been hit with a bag full of baseballs a few times.  That would have been terrible.  Now I should feel well and have a lot more energy.
There is one thing that I am nervous about – going through security.  I seriously wonder if I will go off.  I mean, I have a port in me!  According to my doctor it is made of titanium so it might go off.  He said that it shouldn’t be a big deal because a lot of people have ports so the security should be used to it.  I do have a little card that identifies where my port is and what it is made out of.  I just have this fear of being asked to go into the secure area and having to be frisked with the hand held metal detector.  That would be so embarrassing!  Can’t I pull the cancer card and get out of the scan all together? 
Have I ever shared my airport screening story?  Todd and I were flying to Ft. Lauderdale a few years back for vacation.  I was wearing a purple dress with hot pink peep toe flats and a light scarf that matched.  I know my clothes really don’t matter, but I think they play into the story.  I was wearing happy colors.  I thought I looked cheerful.  I was going to Florida!  I was on vacation!  There was a longer line than usual going through security.  When I arrived at the person that checks your ticket and ID she looked at me much longer than everyone else.  (I know I need to get my picture updated but that’s such a hassle).  Remember, I was happy…. She looks at me and says “Miss are you ok?  You appear agitated.” Agitated???  I wasn’t agitated, at least I don’t think I was agitated.  As she says this thoughts start to run through my mind – “Oh, no!  I’m being profiled!” “She’s probably already alerted the scanner guys to check my bags thoroughly.”  “I just want to go to Florida.”  “Agitated? Really?”  I turned to her and said “No, I’m just ready to get to my gate.”  I swear I started to sweat after the said that and was a nervous wreck until I made it to my gate.  She thought I was agitated but all she did was manage to really stress me out!  To this day I still get nervous when I get to the check point.
We have a few last days of colon cancer awareness before the month is out.  www.cancer.org
Can colorectal polyps and cancer be found early?
Regular screening can often find colorectal cancer early, when it is most likely to be curable. In many cases, screening can also prevent colorectal cancer altogether. This is because some polyps, or growths, can be found and removed before they have the chance to turn into cancer.
In case any of you are wondering how I’m feeling lately, I feel great!  I know I’ve mentioned that when my “up” week comes I wake up on Monday and feel as close to normal as I can get.  I really feel awesome.  I can’t even tell that something is “wrong” with me until I over do it.  That’s really the only thing that reminds me that I’m not 100% - when I work a full day in the office or try to do too much.  I just get tired.  That’s a little hard to deal with because I do feel so good.  It’s like the cancer/chemo is saying “Yeah, you only think you’re back to normal”.  Slap in the face.  But, I do have to remember that it could be worse.  At least I do feel good.
If I could have anything to eat I would like some Publix BBQ chips (they’re the best) and a Coke Icee.  I’ve been trying to eat healthy so junk food just sounds fabulous.  My song of the day is “Superhero” by Matchbox 20.
Night y’all!

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