Shower in a thunderstorm

2/28/11 – Well, today is my last “up” day of the week.  I’ve enjoyed having the last two weeks to feel well and do whatever I wanted.  I am a little nervous about tomorrow just because I’ve felt so well for so long.  Don’t really want to feel puny.  Maybe I won’t?  Happy thoughts.

Today was Monday of close week.  I have work, work, worked all day long.  Todd had the insulation guys come this morning and Mrs. Janet and I went to Kroger during my lunch break.  I was afraid that we would be there forever but it only took us a little over an hour to get everything and get home.  Who’d a thunk it?! 

Mrs. Janet has been quilting while I’ve been working.  We have been like a well oiled machine.  She does her thing, I do mine, and the two of us tag team the dogs.  At one point I was going to get something to drink and rolled back in the chair to go to the kitchen.  I heard this horrible squeek!  I had rolled over Percy’s foot.  I don’t think I got very much because I immediately stopped and he seemed more traumatized than actually hurt.  It still scared me.  Not a normal thing to roll back and almost run over a dog.  I’m still not used to having a dog this small.

Right now the weather outside looks like something from the Wizard of Oz, I fully intend to see the Wicked Witch of the East to go riding by on her bicycle or something.  (Percy would make a great Toto!)  I find it interesting that it has stormed the last 2 times I’ve had to drive to Lawrenceville to see my counselor.  It’s like the weather thinks I need something to stress about in order to have a good session.  I keep hearing things about 60 MPH winds.  I listen to it over and over because that just can’t be true.  60 MPH.  That sounds insane.  It doesn’t seem to change so I must have heard it correctly.  Hopefully I will be past my area by the time I have to get on the road.  Last time I drove to Lawrenceville I had to discuss how I believed Sienfeld had it right in proposing an “I’m sorry, I’m stupid” hand signal while driving.  Fingers crossed!

I’m not the most car savvy.  Let’s face it I have zero clue when it comes to cars.  Last week I stopped at Kroger to get gas because there was actually a free slot – if you can believe it!  I pumped my gas and then went to crank my car and head home.  I turned the key and it made this half hearted attempt at cranking.  I had even moved the car into drive but it just cluncked out.  “Seriously?!  Please, don’t stop working while Todd is at work and I’m all alone.  I don’t understand cars.  I can’t do this!”  I call Todd.  I call Todd.  I call Todd.  I call Todd.  I call Todd. (If you’re counting I called Todd 5 times, no answer).  “Think, think….. women are on their own all the time. I can do this.  What would I do if Todd wasn’t around – or didn’t answer his phone, like then?”  “Ok!  I’ll call Tires Plus.  They always work on my car and can probably recommend a tow truck.”  I called and spoke with the guy, got the number for the tow truck, I was set.  Before calling the tow truck guy I thought I would try to crank my car one more time.  I noticed that my car was in drive from the first time I tried to crank it, so I set it back on park and tried again.  It started pretty as you please.  I’m not sure if something was actually wrong with my car or maybe, just maybe I never actually put it in drive when I parked to get gas….?  Wouldn’t the car have rolled?  I doubt I would do that but I still can’t figure out just what happened.  Regardless, I was proud of myself for thinking it out and trying to take care of a situation that is obviously not my forte.  A little later I got Todd on the phone and told him what all I had done and how I had taken care of the situation on my own even though it turned out to be nothing.  I was expecting a “good baby” or “I’m proud of you for doing it on your own”.  What did I get?  I got “try to avoid getting a tow truck because that costs $75.”  Seriously?! Seriously?!  He clearly didn’t understand.  Guys just don’t get it. 

Well, I showered in a thunderstorm getting ready to go to counseling.  That sounds like a song title – Shower in a Thunderstorm. 

            Shower in a Thunderstorm

I’m not afraid, just scared sometimes,

            The winds try to blow me down,

            The rain pours and beats at me,

            I can do this, I can make it,

            I’m not afraid,

I shower in a thunderstorm,

            Thunder may intimidate other people,

            But, the winds can’t to blow me down,

            The rain pours but can’t beat me to the ground,

            I’m not afraid, just scared sometimes

This storm can’t defeat me.

BAM!  Instant hit.  LOL!

If I could have anything to eat I would like a piece of coffee cake and a nice cup of coffee or hot chocolate.  My song of the day is “Washed by the Water” by Need to Breathe.  Great song for today.

http://listen.grooveshark.com/s/Washed+By+The+Water/oNDme?src=5

Say a little prayer that my white blood count will be up in the 1,000 range so I can get chemo tomorrow.  I go for chemo at 9:15.  I’m not looking forward to feeling icky after having two great weeks but I shower in a thunderstorm and this storm can’t defeat me.  Night y’all!

Wedding Wonderland

2/27/11 – Hey hey!  Another fun day. 

We started the day off with one of my favorite things – breakfast pizza made by Ashley.  She is the world’s best breakfast pizza maker.  Since I’m a professional eater I consider myself an authority on this subject.

After eating breakfast we all packed up and headed to Tuscaloosa.  Wedding shopping!  The guys went to Men’s Warehouse and we headed to David’s Bridal.  The two stores were side by side.  We walked in at the same time and started talking to the bridal consultant about dresses and pointed out a few that might work.  Before we had even tried on one dress the guys came into David’s Bridal and said they were done and that they had lost Mr. Berle.  Two points of interest (1) They were DONE.  That fast.  We hadn’t even really started. (2) They had lost Mr. Berle.  How did that happen?  They had only been over there 15 minutes!

Ashley tried on a ton of dresses.  Some we liked more than others.  She definitely found some contenders but nothing definite yet.  I would help her get hooked into each dress and then she would come out and model the dress for me and Mrs. Janet.  I thought she looked good in each dress but Mrs. Janet had perfected the “eeh… (shoulder shrug)” look.  She would scrunch her nose and shake her head “no” slowly.  She didn’t say a word!  It was hilarious.  You could tell she didn’t want to say “I don’t like it” but the face was just as good.  Maybe you had to be there?  But, just imagine when you are trying on your clothes at home trying to decide if you like what you’ve picked out for the day.  You are considering the outfit in the mirror thinking “something’s just not right”.  You know that face you make?  Do you scrunch your nose and shake your head a little bit?  I know I DO!  That was the face.  It wasn’t mean, just funny.  She didn’t make the face on the ones that we really liked.

After Ashley tried on dresses, I was next.  The store had gotten really busy by that time.  I tried on 3 dresses.  They were all pretty in their own way.  Why is it that formal dresses, especially at bridal salons, are so expensive?  I really don’t understand.  I tried on a top and a skirt with a cool flower belt – I KNOW!  Flower belt, totally me! – and it was $145 for all the pieces!  Craziness.  Some of you may be thinking that I am a walking contradiction since I seriously considered buying a $178 bathing suit but you would be wrong.  The bathing suit would have been worn multiple times throughout the season and you will also have to remember that I was offended by the price and found something cheaper.  I just think for a simple skirt and top things should be more affordable.  I’m not gonna lie, it was adorable!  We are trying to figure out what works best for all the other girls before making a final decision.  Obviously our appointment took longer than the guys’.

Finally we finished trying on dresses and headed to my favorite place – Five Guys!  Little cheeseburger please!  We met the guys and all ate together.  After Five Guys we headed to Yogurt Mountain and had some dessert and then back to the house.  When we got to the house we let the dogs out to run around a little while.  Percy noticed the cows next door and started barking and running towards them – great….  I scooped him up and put him on the deck.  Ashley and I were talking and enjoying the nice weather.  Since Percy is so small he just kind of runs around the deck but doesn’t really go down the steps.  He kept putting his body through the slats looking at the cows.  He would go from slat to slat and look and sniff.  Ashley turned to me and said “He’s going to fall”.  I told her I didn’t think he would do that because he fell off the arm of our couch once and had learned his lesson.  As soon as I said that I looked over at Percy who had just gone to stick is body through another slat.  He sniffed, looked, and then backed up a little and JUMPED!  He jumped off the deck!  Sure it wasn’t that far of a jump but he’s only 3 lbs.  He has little legs.  He just launched off the deck.  Not only did he launch off the deck but he started running toward the cows!  Ashley and I both scream “Percy!”  Ashley reached him first and scooped him up before he committed suicide by cow.

Now I am on the road headed back to Georgia with Todd and Mrs. Janet.  Mrs. Janet is taking me to chemo this week and being my live in cook to cater to my every whim – at least that’s what I tell myself.  Since we are on the road I am now on the lookout for a Coke Icee again.  Last time I got a Mountain Dew Icee to be different.  It was good but I prefer the Coke ones.  I had to try it though to know how I felt about it.  My song of the day is “No Particular Place to Go” by Chuck Berry.

http://listen.grooveshark.com/s/No+Particular+Place+To+Go/3tEAh2?src=5

Night y’all!

Relaxing Saturday

2/26/11 – Hello all!  Happy weekend.

This morning I took my time waking up.  It was nice to sleep in.  I haven’t slept in too much lately since I’ve had 2 “up” weeks in a row now.  Buster and Percy always wake me up right on time and I also have to get to work.  My commute to the dining room table is much better than the usual 40 minutes down 85. 

I woke up and took it easy.  Todd enjoyed playing Jason’s xbox and killing zombies.  We went up to the house and had breakfast and then talked about what we wanted to do.  Last time I was in Bambergland Mr. Berle and I had ridden down a back road where a guy was getting water out of a spring.  Ever since I saw that I wanted some of that water.  THAT is what I wanted to do!  I wanted some spring water.  Everyone was on board so we grabbed a pitcher or two and a cup for me.  I love riding on the back roads.  It’s just fun and the scenery is so pretty.  We found the spring easily.  There is a PVC pipe running down a small hill and it pours out into a concrete bucket like thing that overflows and starts a stream that runs down the side of the road.  On that road there are streams running alongside the road the whole way down.  I grabbed my cup and headed to the PVC pipe.  Todd yells “You’re just going to DRINK that?!”  Um… yeah.  Do you know what all is in our tap water and people drink that, plus I have cancer.  I seriously doubt that drinking spring water out of a PVC pipe is going to hurt me any worse.  Live a little!  I put my cup under the stream running out of the pipe and took a sip.  Delicious!  The water was clean and didn’t have any after taste.  It’s probably a lot cleaner than anything I get at home.  I’m under surveillance for the next 48 hours.

We filled the pitchers up and headed down the road.  Mr. Berle and I were in the front with Todd and Mrs. Janet riding in the back holding the pitchers of water – wahahaha (evil laugh)!  We could do whatever we wanted to do.  Mr. Berle and I wanted to ride!  Todd and Mrs. Janet were our captives and there was nothing they could do about it.  We drove around and checked out some roads we had never been on.  The funniest part was Mrs. Janet’s expression.  We were in her Avalanche and half of the roads we go down are dirt roads.  She didn’t know that we took her truck down what she classifies as bad roads.  We found one road that we had never been down that looked like fun.  It has a sign that said “bridge ahead”.  I am always up for a bridge, they’re just fun.  So, we headed down this road.  It was bumpy and a little muddy.  Then it went down a moderate hill and we could see where one side of the road had washed out.  From the back Mrs. Janet is yelling “Y’all better not be takin’ my truck down roads like THIS!”  Silence.  Hehehe….  It’s a Chevrolet, it can handle it. 

After Todd and Mrs. Janet deemed they couldn’t handle anymore we headed back to the house.  It was a gorgeous day.  Buster spent most of the day outside jumping around and running through the field.  I wanted to get outside and enjoy the weather a little so I took Percy on a walk to the end of the large field.  It was so funny watching him hop, hop, hop through the tall grass.  I made it to the end of the field and I could tell that Percy had given up.  I was trying to coax him to make the last few steps but he just stood there.  I stood there and listened.  I heard a lot of birds.  I started to think “to these birds Percy probably looks like lunch”.  Time to go.  I caught up to Percy and headed back through the field.  Hop, hop, hopping all the way back to the house.

We had a great dinner.  I haven’t had steak in a long time.  It was delicious.  I made a cake for dinner.  I didn’t have any of my cake decorating stuff and I had to “a-la-Shea” – that is the word I use when I make a recipe from memory or change a recipe to make it the way I want it – the butter cream recipe since all my stuff was at home.  It turned out pretty good.  If I could have anything to eat I would like a watermelon.  I love watermelon.  My song of the day is “Gone” by Jack Johnson.

http://listen.grooveshark.com/s/Gone/2pgLLY?src=5

Night y’all!

Vitamin D

2/25/11 – “On the road again, just can’t wait to get on the road again.”

Guess where I am?  As I’m typing this I am somewhere between Georgia and Alabama headed to Bambergland.  Since my chemo was cancelled this week I decided we should go ahead and go to Alabama to do some wedding dress shopping with my sister-in-law.  I am SO excited!  I fully intend to try on a wedding dress or two myself.  I’ll make sure to take pictures.

Since I took the night off yesterday let me catch you up on my escapades.  Yesterday I was sitting in the computer room working and had just kind of lost all motivation.  I was at a point where I needed people to get back to me before moving to the next step and just didn’t have any energy.  As I was staring out the window it dawned on me that what I needed was some good vitamin D! Sun!  That would perk me up and make me feel better.   Did I just go sit outside and work? Heck no!  When it is warm enough you never miss a chance to tan.  I totally put on my bathing suit top and a pair of shorts in FEBRUARY and sat outside and read about accounting pronouncements.  Nothing makes determining whether a business is acquiring a business or assets more interesting than soaking up some good sun while you’re reading.  So, I’m sitting in the backyard relaxing and reading.  All of a sudden I hear talking.  Hmmm.  Where are these people talking?  I continue sitting in the backyard enjoying my time.  All of a sudden I see someone walking in my neighbor’s backyard.  Yes, we have a privacy fence but I can obviously see him so if I were to make any noise he would know I was in my backyard and then could possibly see me.  Yes, I was fully clothed and in my own backyard but it still felt very awkward for me.  There are just some people that you don’t want to see you in your bathing suit, especially when you have no tan – my neighbor is one of those people for me.  I went into silent mode.  Didn’t move.  Didn’t breathe.  Maybe he’ll go away.  Nope.  He kept talking to whoever he was with – another guy for sure.  After I waited for a few minutes I decided he wasn’t going away and I couldn’t hold my breath any longer so I needed to make a run for it.  In one fluid motion I scooped up the laptop and my phone and scooted into the house.  Success!  I was undetected!  The vitamin D was nice and perked me up a bit I just wish I had been able to soak up some more.  Maybe next time.

While we are talking about sun and bathing suits, let’s continue down that path.  I recently decided that I needed to purchase a one piece bathing suit now that I have a lovely 4 inch scar down my midsection.  I generally wear 2 pieces and I would like to think that I would be proud of my scar because of all that I’ve gone through.  But, I know there will be times when I won’t want all the stares (the staring in my head if not in real life).  I know it is only February but I want to get a jump on this bathing suit season.  That’s why I’ve started working out.  I seriously wonder if I have any lower abs left after the surgery – it doesn’t feel like it.  Looking for a one piece bathing suit when you are 28 is not fun.  All the one pieces look so old lady.  I don’t want to look old lady-ish.  I want to look fun and cute.  It’s hard enough to feel cute in a bathing suit as it is, I do NOT want to look old too!  Unacceptable.  I searched and searched and searched.  I was beginning to despair.  The monokinis all looked too scandalous.  That is the last thing I need when I’m feeling insecure – scandalous – unacceptable.  Finally I found the perfect bathing suit.  Imagine the whole “waaahhhhh….” sound as I clicked into the link.  It was blue with white polka dots and yellow shoulder straps with a yellow bow.  Very retro.  I could TOTALLY rock that with a yellow headband or something.  Now imagine a window crashing.  I had seen the price.  $178! $178 for a bathing suit!  What’s sad is that I seriously contemplated buying the bathing suit even though I knew the price.  I started looking on other websites trying to find something I liked just as well but always fell short.  I needed this bathing suit.  I wanted this bathing suit.  I am happy to report that today I finally found a bathing suit that fits all my criteria that is NOT $178.  It is black with white polka dots and red accents and is very retro.  Totally me.  I will look just as cute in this one with a fun flower headband in my hair.  I am now prepared for all vitamin D events. 

Oh yeah, I forgot.  I’m supposed to avoid the sun since I’m on chemo.  That is one of those rules I will interpret as a suggestion, kind of like hair dye.  Now don’t start to freak out on me, I did buy some Jergens gradual tan lotion today and fully intend to only get sun that way.  When I actually lay out I’ll hang out under the umbrella and wear something like 50 SPF.  It will hurt my feelings but I’m sure I will have a much cooler summer.   In case you’re wondering what has driven me to all this focus on getting a tan, someone recently told me that I was fair complected!  I know!  That’s like the kiss of death for someone who actually isn’t fair complected.  I’m not bashing people with fair skin tones (love you Todd!)  I’m just saying that if you know you have an olive skin tone and someone says that you are fair complected something inside you cringes.  I knew I had to do something to correct this grievous injustice.  Jergens and vitamin D to the rescue!

After work yesterday I headed to ladies workout.  I’ve enjoyed adding exercise back to my daily routine.  I did the workout yesterday and today I ran/walked another 2 miles.  I’m thinking about bumping it up to 3 on Monday and then just walking during the chemo week assuming I actually get to have chemo this coming week.

That’s really been my last two days.  I’ve been working and trying to have a little fun.  I know Todd is sick of seeing the laptop light as he’s driving down the interstate.  I guess I better wrap all this up.  Since I’m on the road I am on a mission to find a Coke Icee again.  I just can’t get enough of those things.  They’re awesome!  My song of the day is “Pocket Full of Sunshine” by Natasha Beddingfield.  I love to run to this song.

http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/natasha-beddingfield-pocket-full-of-sunshine/b69cb1b07c872b3bfc52b69cb1b07c872b3bfc52-597721875927?q=natasha+beddingfield,+pocket+full+of+sunshine&FORM=VIRE6

Night y’all!

Doggie DHR

2/23/11 – Happy Wednesday!  Today has been another good day.

This morning I woke up, rolled out of bed, put on my house boots, and my comfy robe and THAT is what I wore to work today.  I did not fix my hair – with curly hair if you don’t fix it, it sticks out all around – classy!  I didn’t put on any makeup or even lip gloss.  I barely cleaned my face.  So, now that you have the mental image of me, let’s talk about my day.  It’s important to remember how I look.

I worked in the morning and then took my lunch break.  I’m sitting on the couch trying to relax and the doorbell rings. What?! Who’s ringing my doorbell during the day?!  I look horrible!  I can’t answer the door!  I knew whoever was at the door knew I was in the house because he could see the TV was on.  Great…. I’ll get the door.  I answered the door and it was True Green canvassing the area to get business.  I told the guy we had just switched to True Green and were happy so far.  He smiled and thanked me.  I knew he was probably thinking “Wow! She looked RUFF!”  I locked the door back and walked slowly back to the couch.  Defeated…  I snuggle in and enjoy some more of my show during lunch time.  A few minutes later the doorbell rings again.  Again!  WHO? WHO? Could possibly be at my door now?!  I sigh and get up.  It’s the True Green guy again.  As soon as I open the door Percy trots in.  What?!  The True Green guy says “Is this your dog?  He’s been following me down the road.”  WHAT?! Percy?  I’m not sure if he escaped out of the house when I answered the door or broke out of the back yard and decided to follow the True Green guy but either way I am horrible, horrible mom.  Horrible!  I thanked the True Green guy and scooped Percy up. I locked the door and hugged Percy for a good 5 minutes.  I’m a terrible mom. I lost my dog.  Please don’t report me to doggie DHR.

While we are talking about doggie DHR I have a story about Buster.  This is about a year ago now.  Todd and I had gone out to eat with one of our friends from out of town who was in town for a few days.  I had left Buster in our bathroom during the day to avoid any accidents or make easy cleanup for anything that happened because I knew I would be gone a long time that day.  I called Kristina and asked if she would just let Buster out and then put him back and I would be home as soon as dinner was done.  While I’m sitting at dinner I get a call from Kristina saying that Buster has eaten his shampoo and is now sick.  What?!  He ate what?!  I told Todd what had happened and decided to excuse myself from dinner.  Once I got to car I started to freak out.  My dog had eaten shampoo!  I had to call the emergency vet number.  I’m driving down the road, trying to hold it together, calling the emergency number.  The emergency vet told me that I needed to call poison control – POISON CONTROL!  I immediately call poison control.  When the lady answered the phone she asks what the problem is and then asks for my name, number, and address – my address.  I just told her my dog ate shampoo while under my care and now she is asking for my address.  They are coming to get my dog!  They are coming to take my dog away from me!  The lady asks what type of shampoo it was and how much was left.  Once I got home what I found can only be described as gross, truly gross.  I find the shampoo bottle and the nice poison control lady has me measure out how much is left so we can determine how much Buster ingested.  She looks it up and finds that it is in between on the acid and base scale.  He would be ok.  Just a lot of yuckiness.  Kristina had brought Buster over to her house so I slowly walked next door to claim my dog.  Buster was happy to see me but he obviously has a problem with dog shampoo.  I am happy to report that poison control did not report me to doggie DHR.  They are really quite nice and understanding.  Who would have thought that my dog would chew a dog shampoo bottle and then lick the contents – not me.  Now I know better.

Since I am now planning to run the Rumpshaker 5K I have to prepare.  I went for a run/walk around 6:00 today.  It felt great outside.  Buster and I did pretty well.  I wanted to go farther than my 1 mile and also wanted to see how long it would take me to run/walk a mile to test out my time for the 5K.  I went 2.2 miles and averaged a 15.13 minute mile.  Close enough.  My goal is to do a 15 minute mile so I can do my 5K in 45 minutes.  For my first time going that far I think I did a great job.  I’m going to do the 2 miles for a few more days and then bump it up to the 3 miles to prepare.  I can’t wait until this race.  It is going to be awesome!

If I could have anything to eat I would like a piece of peanut butter pie.  My song of the day is Collective Soul “Run”.

http://listen.grooveshark.com/s/Run/m6Uza?src=5

In case you’re wondering I’ve been checking to make sure I haven’t lost Percy every 15 minutes after the “True Green Incident”.  I haven’t lost him again – yet.  Night y’all!

Learning to roll with the punches

2/22/11 – Hello all.  Today has been quite a day.

I woke up, washed my hair and got ready to have chemo.  I like to dress kinda cute because it makes me feel better knowing I look cute when physically I feel puny.  Tara picked me up right on time and we headed to the cancer center.  Once I got there, signed in, and they took my blood as normal.  I was called back, weighed, temp checked, and blood pressure checked.  After that my doctor came in and we talked about my side effects the last time.  Then, he tells me that I can’t have chemo today.  No.  Not again.  Not another problem.  I was having flash backs of my original oncologist’s office and how mean they were when I was told I couldn’t have chemo the first time.

Fortunately this time it doesn’t have anything to do with the office staff (who are wonderful, by-the-way) or my health insurance.  My white blood cell count is down.  He mentioned a specific piece of my white blood cell count that is supposed to be around 1,000 but mine was at half that – around 500.  It being low prevents me from being able to get chemo.  I didn’t think it was possible for me to be upset about not getting chemo, but I was.  I tried to convince him that I felt fine and I could handle it but apparently the numbers don’t lie and I had to reschedule. 

I am off chemo for one more week.  I’m supposed to go back next Tuesday.  If my white blood cell count is still down then I will need to get a shot to stimulate my white blood cells.  He didn’t want me to get the shot just yet and wanted my body to try to regenerate them on its own.  The whole bone marrow suppression is a normal side effect of chemo.  The chemo kills all cells – it can’t distinguish between red or white blood cells and cancer cells – they all have to go.  It is up to my body to regenerate the red and white blood cells and platelets because obviously my body would not regenerate cancer cells, that’s just how chemo works.  I did run a fever last Monday night and bone marrow suppression generally happens within 10 – 14 days of chemo which is exactly now.  Bummer!  The bone marrow suppression does not make me feel bad.  I feel good.  I just hope that my count is back up when I go next week.  I don’t like being knocked off my schedule – not one little bit!

I think the doctor could tell that I wasn’t happy.  He said that things like this happen and I would learn to become more flexible.  You would think that I would have already learned that lesson by now.  I don’t mind rolling with the punches I just generally like to know what’s coming at me so I can prepare.  I felt bad because Tara had taken the day off work to drive me to and from chemo.   I was so spaced out I nearly left the office with my port still accessed.  They had taken blood out of my port – way cool – so I had a little IV line sticking out of me.  Thankfully the nurse said “Hey, make sure you get that de-accessed before you leave.”  That would have been frustrating to get home and realize I still had that sticking out of my port.  Maybe I should have left it and gone back tomorrow and had them check my blood again?  I really did try my hardest to talk him into giving me the chemo anyway.

Tara and I called Todd and Phillip and met for lunch.  We went to one of my favorite places – Mojito’s!  It was funny because when we walked in there were 2 cameras set up shooting two people eating in the restaurant.  What is going on?!  I just thought it was some food TV show shooting a spot on Mojito’s because they are a very good restaurant.  The hostess comes up to ask how many people we have and says that we can sit inside and be on camera or sit on the terrace.  Terrace please!  She told us that Toni Braxton was shooting a scene for her new reality show.  Tara and I walked past the camera with lightening speed.  No camera scene for Shea. – I only do my own shows.  I don’t want to share the spot light – not even with the awesome Toni Braxton! – I would like to check out the show just to see exactly what it’s all about.  Not something that I normally run into on a day to day basis.

Since my chemo schedule is now off I think I’m going do a 5K in March.  March is colon cancer awareness month and some of my friends from Judson have already found an awesome race.  The Rumpshaker 5K is in Birmingham every year and raises money for colon cancer and promotes awareness in the local area.  Runners can form teams and run together to support the cause.  Amanda had already messaged me about the race but it was on a bad weekend for me to participate and I didn’t know if I would be able to do 3 miles.  I now know that I can totally walk/run a 5K.  It will probably take me a full 45 minutes (15 minute mile) but I know I can do it.  Considering where I am right now I don’t think anyone would look down on my time.  The name of their team is “Shea’s So Full of It” which I obviously LOVE!  I’m going to talk to Todd but I think I can do it and it would be so cool to be there to run with my team.  This 5K will just prepare me for the one in Phenix City this September!  Check out the website if you’re interested in running.  It looks like a cool experience and would benefit a great cause.  http://www.rumpshaker5k.com/index.html

I had a lot to talk about today.  I am disappointed that I didn’t get to stay on schedule but it’s probably for the best.  I’m sure if my white blood count is down I would have felt horrible tonight if I had gotten treatment.  And, I am now able to go wedding dress shopping with my sister-in-law sooner and possibly participate in a 5K with some great friends.  I guess it’s all in how you look at it.  If I could have anything to eat I would like a nice bowl of fresh fruit.  I’m thinking watermelon, pineapple, honeydew, strawberries, grapes.  All fresh, no soggy stuff.  My song of the day is “Unbreak My Heart” by Toni Braxton because I saw her at lunch today – duh.

http://listen.grooveshark.com/s/Unbreak+My+Heart/3ywtbq?src=5

Well, I guess it’s another “up” week for me.  Night y’all!

"Life is good today"

2/21/11 – Hello all!  Today is my last day of my “up” week.  It was another good day.

I’m trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I feel so awesome right now and tomorrow will start chemo week when I don’t feel so awesome.   I want to feel “up” all the time. 

I’ve started to think about things that I might want to eat during my chemo week.  Food seems to be the focus of my weeks.  What sounds good seems to change.  I made some chicken noodle soup and Todd is picking up pancake mix.  Pancakes just sound like a good option if you’re not feeling good.  Syrup fixes a lot of things.

I’m watching House Hunters International again.  Who are these people who can buy multiple homes.  Why am I not one of them?  The one that is on now is for a couple who wants a vacation home in the Turks and Caicos.  I LOVE the Turks and Caicos!  I would like to have a vacation home there – heck, I would move there if I could.  These houses that they are looking at are not small houses either.  I would love to have a terrace that overlooked the ocean so I could sit outside each morning sip my coffee and just enjoy the view.  I would spend every day with my toes in the sand relaxing and reading a good book.  Yes, please!

I go to chemo at 9:15 tomorrow.  Tara is my driver of the day.  I’m hoping for a much better experience than last time.  I think me feeling sick was a fluke and not the norm.  I really don’t have enough experience to know what the norm really is, but I’m hoping that puniness on the day of chemo is not the norm.

Todd and booked our flight for D.C. last night!  Yay!  I’m so excited.  We want to have little treats all along the way to give us something to look forward to.  My first treat is going to Bambergland the first weekend in March to go wedding shopping with my sister-in-law.  My second treat is D.C. to visit my sister and brother-in-law.  I don’t have anything planned to May but I’m sure I will think of something.  I don’t need anything big and I don’t have to go out of town just something different and fun to look forward to.

If I could have anything to eat I would like a nice dinner a Nava.  I haven’t been there in a while and I would like a nice quiet dinner with a good atmosphere.  My song of the day is “Toes” by Zack Brown Band in honor of House Hunters International.  I love this song!  “Life is good today.”

http://listen.grooveshark.com/s/Toes+album+Version+album+Version/34rSX9?src=5

Night y’all!

Pepper spray anyone?

1/20/11 – Happy Sunday everyone!  Today has been a pretty good day.  I went to church and then met some friends for lunch.  We ate at one of my favorite places – Five Guys!  I haven’t had a cheeseburger since my first chemo week when that was all I could eat.  I’m a little worried that eating so many cheeseburgers during chemo will make me not like them once everything is over.  That would be sad.

Yesterday after posting my blog I took a look at the ads on the page.  As soon as I scrolled down I started laughing.  All my ads were for cold sore medicines, new herpes treatments, and house cleaning!  I did not realize my story would be so marketable.  Gold star Google and thanks for the laugh!

I have a few random thoughts that I would like to talk about.  My sister pointed out that on my “Happy Heart Day” blog I used the term “de-thaw”.  So what?  What’s wrong with that?  After I thought about it I realized that I was basically saying I froze something instead of what I really did – thaw something.  This might not sound like that big of a deal to you, but it really bothered me.  I hate it when people say “irregardless” – irregardless is not a word – even as I’m typing, Word is putting the red squiggly under the word.  It seriously bothers me when people say “irregardless”, so much so that I have taken it to the next level.  If you’re going to say irregardless why not say irregardlessly?!  Hunh?  Might as well.  So, you can see why me using a similar term bothered me so much.  I hereby promise that I, Shea Bamberg, will never use the non-word “de-thaw” again.  Deal!

My next random fact happened on my way home from Five Guys.  I stopped to fill my car with gas.  I pulled in to Kroger like a dreamer.  Getting gas at Kroger on a Sunday is like winning the lottery.  Why does everyone decide to fill their cars up on that day?  Why am I now one of these people?  I tend to get angry waiting for a free pump so I thought it best to go to Chevron instead.  Side note:  During the whole gas shortage I actually yelled at a lady who stole my gas pump.  She moved but it wasn’t one of my finer moments.  I got to Chevron and there were zero cars.  Zero!  Yeah, because everyone was at Kroger.  I filled up my car and was about to leave.  I glanced up at the store front and noticed a neon yellow sign that read “Pepper Spray Sold Here”.  Hunh (shoulder shrug).  Pepper spray.  I had never really thought about where to buy pepper spray before.  I didn’t know that people went to gas stations to buy such things.  If anyone needs pepper spray it is sold at the Chevron on Peachtree Industrial.  I think pepper spray is a little too tame for me.  I may need a taser or something instead.  Can you imagine me with a taser?!  Scary.

Tonight I had some good girl time, tacos, and cupcakes – sure the combo sounds a little weird but I basically eat like a pregnant lady, nausea included.  If I could have anything to eat I would like cake batter ice cream in a waffle cone.  That just sounds good for some reason.  My song of the day is Lori Morgan “Except for Monday” – takin’ it old school.  “But it’s Sunday now and you can bet that I’m alright.”

http://listen.grooveshark.com/s/Except+For+Monday/30V9QH?src=5

Night y’all.

All this for a dot?

2/19/11 – Well, it has finally started.  My hair has finally started to fall out.  Don’t worry; I’m not supposed to lose all my hair.  It is only supposed to thin.  I cannot lie it is discouraging to lather your hair and see all this hair come out.  Yes, I do normally shed but it is about 5xs more than normal.  No, you can’t tell that my hair is thinning – at least not yet.  It’s probably good that I don’t wash my hair every day!

Today I went shopping with Tara.  I pretty much invited myself along – shopping? I’m there! – I remember riding in the car and telling Tara there wasn’t really anything I needed to buy.  Well, I bought jeans, t-shirt, skirt, shoes, a purse, shoes, and a pair of pants and shirt for Todd!  Who knew?!  In my defense, there were a LOT of good deals.

Tara and I had already decided to go to Smoothie King after our shopping adventure.  I’ve been trying to get my cold fix before chemo starts again.  I looked it up online and learned the Smoothie King in Dawsonville was by Home Depot.  Perfect!  There’s a Home Depot across the street from the outlets.  Tara and I get over there and realize that’s not the Home Depot they are talking about.  It’s the Home Depot in Gainsville – 19.5 miles away.  Did we say “Oh, well…” and just go home?  Heck no!  We went on our own little awesome adventure – “Shea and Tara’s Awesome Adventure” – and drove to Smoothie King.  We basically drove through the country to get to civilization again and once we reached civilization we found Smoothie King – success!  That was a lot of fun and the smoothie was really good too. 

After that I headed home to relax.  It had been a long day.  I read somewhere one time that shopping can burn up to 500 calories.  I think I reached that today because I shopped until I dropped!

I’ve been trying to think of things to do with my chemo that I haven’t talked about that you might be interested in.  I know I mentioned my port – Pixie the Port – but I don’t know if I’ve explained how it works.  I had a port put in because the chemo is supposed to be hard on your veins.  Since I am having 12 treatments a port is recommended.  The procedure to put the port in was an outpatient surgery and they made sure that the port was hooked up to a good vein – pretty sure it is a major artery (is that correct Nicole?).  My port is blue – which I think is kinda cool since the colon cancer color is blue.  My port is on my left side below my collar bone and above my heart.   It is completely under the skin.  You can’t see anything blue sticking out of me.  The port pokes out just a little.  I basically looks like a small bump – about the size of a nickel.  If you were to see it the port might look like a slightly swollen bruised area but that’s just because it is blue.  It doesn’t hurt me at all. 

When I go into chemo I am hooked up to my medicine through the port.  The access area of the port just looks like a small dot.  When I asked where the port was exactly and the chemo nurse pointed to the dot I thought “That’s it?! All this for a dot?”  The port prevents me from having to have IV’s all the time – which basically means it prevents me from being more of a diva than I am.  I really hate IV’s.  I love my port.  I’m thinking about keeping it after everything is over just to get out of IV’s for the rest of my life.  Everyone wants to know if I can feel the medicine going in through the port.  When the chemo is going in I can’t feel it at all except for how it makes my body feel – tired and sometimes nauseous.  After the port is accessed I am very comfortable.  The port is my access spot for my IV line.  The line hooks directly into my port.  After I sit for my 4 hours and get my Oxaliplatin my IV is then hooked up to my pump of the 5FU that I go home with.  I pump is constantly pumping the 5FU into my body through the port.  I have an IV line that runs from the port to the pump – that’s why the pump goes everywhere with me.  I run the IV line under my clothes so you can only see the little bit at the bottom of my shirt as it goes into my messenger bag that holds the pump.  On Thursdays I go back to the cancer center and they remove the pump along with the IV line and de-access my port – meaning nothing is sticking out of me anymore.  I’m then back to normal, at least as far as the port goes.  Warning: I’ll post a picture of my port below.  The lines above are just the incision from the surgery.  The port access area is the little dot that I’m pointing towards.  It’s not gross, but I just wanted to let you know.

I had a great day.  I got a smoothie and some Totino’s pizza rolls! Yeah!  They were wonderful.  If I could have anything to eat I would like some chicken a dumplin’s, light on the chicken.  My song of the day is “Forget You” simply because I’ve had it stuck in my head all day.

http://listen.grooveshark.com/s/Forget+You/3xPQ9G?src=5

Night y’all!



Pixie the Port is the light dot below the incision line.



My Milkshake!



"my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard"



2/18/11 – It’s been a great week!  Why is it that “up” weeks go by so quickly?  I haven’t been able to keep up with my blog like I had wanted this week because I had multiple things planned after work each day.  I’ve painted, spent time with friends, and gone to Bible study.  It’s been a great week.

Today I actually went in to work.  As I was driving in to work I got stuck behind a lot of slow people.  Who are these people who aren’t working at 10:00 during the day?  Why do they drive so slowly?  More importantly, why are they in front of me?!  I just don’t understand. 

Anyway. On my way in to work I was listening to the radio.  The radio DJ came on and was reading the weather report.  I hear him say “It’s a gorgeous day.  Partly clouds and sun.  Beautiful day!”  Sounds pretty good, right?  What do you normally do when some reads a weather report?  Observe the weather around you, right?  Right!  I check out the day as he’s telling me that it’s a “beautiful day”.  It was not a beautiful day.  It was overcast.  Zero sun.  Granted, it was warm outside for a February day.  It felt good but it was not a “gorgeous day”.  Suggestion – radio DJ’s should LOOK OUT THE WINDOW before telling people who could be potentially stuck in traffic that it’s a “beautiful day” when it obviously is not.  Just not smart.  I now question your ability to tell me anything – traffic, good song choices, anything. 

Once I survived driving behind slow people and listening to an ill advised radio DJ, I made it in to work.  I parked in the team member parking area and headed into the building.  For a second I wondered if my entrance card would still work because I hadn’t used it in a long time.  It’s hard to believe that I haven’t worked in the office since the first part of December.  December!  That’s crazy!  I made my rounds through the building before heading to my desk.  It was so nice to see everyone.  That’s what I’ve really missed working from home.  I email people and might talk on the phone occasionally but it’s not the same as seeing everyone and getting to catch up.  I had some work that I needed to do in the office before I headed home. 

On my way home I stopped by Chick-fil-A and treated myself to a milkshake.  I’ve been wanting and typing about one for a while now.  It was DELICIOUS!!!  I got a small cookies and crème shake.  I only got a small because I did not know if I would be able to handle the cold or not.  I am happy to report that I did fine.  I could tell that I had a little bit of cold sensitivity left but not enough to make drinking the shake uncomfortable.  Keep up the good work Chick-fil-A.  That is an awesome milkshake.  I especially appreciate the whipped topping!

That was basically my day.  I went to Bible study tonight and enjoyed some pizza, a Bible study, and a little Catch Phrase.  The one thing I would love to eat is a hot fudge sundae like Shoney’s used to serve.  Are Shoney’s still around?  My song of the day should be no surprise.  It’s “Milkshake” by Kelis – hahaha!

http://listen.grooveshark.com/s/Milkshake/3xt51m?src=5

Fun day tomorrow.  Maybe the sun will actually come out and then the weather report will be correct.  Night y’all!

Running and cleaning = forms of torture

My art from Masterpiece Mixers.

2/16/11 – I HATE running.  I hate running.  I really hate running.  Then why is it that ever since my surgery I have felt the overwhelming urge to run again?  Am I delusional?  Clearly I am talking to myself but I honestly don’t know.  I used to run.  I was never very good at it and never really liked it but I always looked at it as an accomplishment and felt really good once it was over.  I also found that it was a great way to lose weight.  I think the reason why I’ve wanted to run since the surgery is because I’ve known it was going to be hard.  I like a challenge.  I also knew that people wouldn’t look at me weird it I was huffing and puffing and about to fall down on the side of the road since they all knew I had just had surgery.  Well, today I finally ran for the first time.  I’ve found that walking has gotten harder since starting chemo so I was not too optimistic about running but I knew I had to start somewhere.  Breathing is definitely an issue.  Running on a FLAT surface was torture.  My quads were screaming at me for a hill to run down because flat was not good enough.  I gave myself small goals.  This was a run/walk mile and I did it!  It took me 16.38 minutes to do 1.05 miles, but I did it!  My goal is to do the 1.05 for the rest of the week and just walk it during my chemo week.  The following week I hope to bump it up to 1.25 and go from there.  I have a 5K in September so I have to get ready!  I am so gonna run the 5K in a blue tutu!  Small victories. 

There is a service called Cleaning for a Reason.  They provide 4 months of free house cleaning for people who are undergoing chemo.  I have never been that clean of a person.  Don’t get me wrong, I am great at straightening up, but actual cleaning? Nuh uh.  It’s not that I don’t do it it’s just that I don’t like it so I tend to avoid it.  Bad, right?  It really stinks because Todd is Mr. Clean himself!  I don’t think he knew what he was getting into marrying me – sucker!  Well, I applied for Cleaning for a Reason because just straightening up has become hard for me to handle lately.  I was denied because they are either full or do not have a cleaning service in my area.  Todd and I tried to do the best we could but we have quickly come to the realization that house cleaning is something that I need to stay healthy and we need to keep a happy marriage.  We decided to splurge and get a housecleaner at least while I’m going through chemo.  So, I used to buy shoes but now I get a cleaner – I am 100% okay with that (I already have a lot of shoes!).

The house cleaners came today.  They showed up at 8:30 – mother daughter team.  9:30 I’m sitting in the computer room working and I can literally smell the clean! 10:30 I’m still working and they’re still cleaning.  11:30, 12:30 … I’m starting to get very self conscious.  That’s a long time.  That’s a lot of cleaning!  Paranoia is starting to set in.  Is my house really that filthy?!  I had almost purchased a Groupon a while back for $75 for a 3 hour cleaning.  That was supposed to be 50% off.  These ladies cleaned my house for nearly 5 hours!  A little before 1:30 they finished.  Let’s just say my house has never looked or smelled this clean before.  You can see your reflection in my hardwood floor.  It is so clean that I don’t even want to be IN the house.  I’m a messy person.  I don’t trust myself. 

I didn’t blog yesterday because I had a full day.  I worked and then had a small girls’ night at Masterpiece Mixers.  It’s one of those places where you paint and you can bring hors d’oeuvres and wine and have a party.  Drinking or not drinking it is a lot of fun.  We painted a “funky tree” last night.  I’m not sure how I feel about my painting.  It’s not that we weren’t taught well or the tree is ugly, I just don’t know if I like my effort.  I feel like I could have done better.  I think I may try to fix it later this week.  It was a great night though.  Lots of good time with the girls and something fun to do.  I highly recommend checking out a place like this for a fun night.  Or, if you ever want to go and need someone to come with, I’m there!

Small side note: I finally finished my art project.  I am going in to work tomorrow and am going get it framed.  I will post a picture once it is done so all of you can see what I’ve been up to for so long.  It is just a little art that is a little funky and fun that’s going to go in Todd’s man cave but I am quite proud of it.  It will look awesome once it’s framed – well, doesn’t everything look awesome framed?!  Yes, the answer is always yes.

Tonight I am having Chicago dogs and slaw.  I’m excited.  I love hot dogs and Todd is all about having Chicago dogs – not regular ones.  I’m not sure what is so special about them but anytime there is a steamed bun I am game.  I have had a total sweet tooth lately but the one thing I would love right now is some Wavy Lays and Heluva dip! Yum! My song of the day is “I Run to You” by Lady Antebellum.  I love the “new disaster” part don’t ask me why – no clue, maybe I like a little crazy.

http://listen.grooveshark.com/s/I+Run+To+You/39Qp86?src=5

 Night y’all!

Happy Heart Day!

For V-day I thought I would share one of my favorite pics of me and Todd.

2/14/11 – Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!  I hope it’s been a good day for you.

I woke up this morning for the first time in the last several days without feeling sick – success!  I love “up” weeks. 

I started my day ironing Todd’s shirt and then heading to work – dining room table.  It should be noted that the real act of love is me ironing.  I do not iron.  I buy clothes that don’t wrinkle specifically for that reason.  I thought since it is Valentine’s I should at least do a little something out of the ordinary, along with the fact that Todd asked if I wouldn’t mind ironing so he could get out the door on time.  Good deed of the day done!

Speaking of Valentine’s I’m not sure that I buy into all the mumbo jumbo.  Why is there one day out of the year were we are supposed to proclaim our love and act all mushy?  As a woman I condone romance in general but I kind of feel like Valentine’s is an insult to my intelligence and a slap in the face to guys around the world.  Are guys not romantic enough throughout the year that there needs to be one specific day earmarked for romance? Are women really silly enough to live year in year out with only getting some form of romance on that one day?  Doubtful, very doubtful.  I just don’t understand the importance of the day, that’s all.  I get the importance of the sentiment.  I much prefer to make a big deal out of an anniversary.  That makes more sense to me.

Since it goes with the territory, I thought I would take a moment to talk about my favorite flower.  I am a total and utter walking cliché.  Most women have some cool flower that is different that is their favorite flower.  Calla lilies, tulips, daisies, ….  Me?  Well, you might think that with my snarkiness and love for most things odd I would have some cool flower that was my favorite that Todd would have to search high and low to find on special occasions.  No, as I said I’m a walking cliché.  My favorite flower is the very generic rose.  If I had to choose I would say red is my favorite color, but really I like them all, especially the variegated kind with all the pretty colors.  I know all of you must be really disappointed.  How could I let you down with something so common?  I just love the way roses look, they come in tons of colors, they get prettier as they open, and they smell awesome.  The only thing I think smells better than a rose is a tea olive and the flowers on that would only work for a Barbie doll.

I guess I am going to celebrate Valentine’s a little even though I have judged it harshly.  Todd and I aren’t going anywhere special, just a nice dinner at home.  I’m going to try my hand at stuffed shells and meatballs now that red sauce doesn’t sound disgusting.  For dessert I’m making cookie ice cream sandwiches – I’m going to de-thaw one really well for me in case the cold sensitivity isn’t gone just yet.  I don’t really know anything that I would like to eat other than what I’m making, but I do plan to get a Chick-fil-A cookies and crème milkshake at the end of the week.  I also need to give a quick shout out to Becky for bringing me one of the best cups of coffee I have ever had this morning.  Note to self: I MUST acquire a Keurig!  My song of the day is as close to a love song as I’m gonna get – “Hook” by Blues Traveler.  Great song!

http://listen.grooveshark.com/s/Hook/32CxC?src=5

Well, I hope all of you have a great night!  Happy Valentine’s all.