Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Ain't no germs on me!

2/2/11 – Happy Groundhog Day!  Sorry I didn’t get to write yesterday but I was busy, busy.
Yesterday my day started out on a slightly traumatizing note.  I woke up and got started working at my laptop.  All of a sudden a sneeze came out of nowhere!  I like to practice the “sneeze into your elbow technique” so I did that.  Though I did not sneeze on my hands I did sneeze all over my laptop!  Yes, I know this is totally gross thus the trauma.  So, now instead of getting grossness on my hands for a short period of time and then washing thoroughly I was going to be touching it all – day – long.  I wanted to go and get the disinfectant and spray the laptop but you just can’t DO that.  How do you properly disinfect a keyboard?  I’m not sure if this technique is approved by the Surgeon General but I wiped off the keyboard with a dry paper towel, washed my hands, and then doused my hands in hand sanitizer.  I put the sanitizer by the computer and would randomly put it on throughout the day.  My goal was to protect my hands and maybe disinfect the keyboard through transference.  So far I’m not sick and the keyboard smells fresh!  (In case you’re wondering, yes, I did just put on more hand sanitizer while typing this.  You can never be too careful.)
After that my day went smoothly.  I had another good day and was able to work a full 8 hours.  I love not feeling sick!  Yesterday was rather drizzly and then it began to rain just when I needed to leave the house – pur-fect.  I learned 3 very important things yesterday:
1.       I should not be allowed to drive in the rain and the dark.
2.       I should not be allowed to drive places I’ve only been in the daylight in the rain and the dark.
3.       Seinfeld had it right when they proposed an “I’m sorry, I’m an idiot” sign for driving.  Society has signs for much worse things.  There should totally be an “I’m sorry, I’m an idiot” sign because I needed to use it last night.  I think a peace sign would’ve just added insult to injury.
I remember when I first moved to Georgia I was amazed at how people could not function on the road when it rained.  For some reason we have a crazy amount of standing water that doesn’t run off but people also act like they have never seen this wet stuff that falls from the sky.  “What is that?!” “I don’t know, but drive slower and swerve a little to avoid it hitting the car.”  I used to make fun and pity these people.  Well, apparently I have now turned in to one of them – great.
If you’re finished laughing at my disgust with myself let’s move on to my day today.  Today was another good day.  I got a kick butt mouse pad from a fabulous friend that says “Cancer picked the wrong Diva!”  In case you’re wondering I totally sit at my computer and work all day with my tiara on my head.  I hate to admit it but I have eaten my Snickers scepter.  I don’t really miss it.  It was delicious! 
You may be wondering “Shea, are you ever going to run out of weird and slightly funny things to share with us?”  Well, I am 100% certain that as long as I keep eating, driving, shopping, listening to music and watching Bravo I will never run out of material.  For instance, today I was sitting at my disinfected laptop when Percy came over.  I am trying to potty train Percy so every time he comes to see me I get up and encourage him to go outside.  So, I get up and head to the door to let him out.  All of a sudden “POP!” “BANG!”  What?! Is someone shooting at me?! (Um, yes, that thought did run through my mind.  Too much Bravo I guess.)  I look down and I had stepped on some pop paper that items are shipped in.  It was the kind with the big bubbles so it sounded much louder and since I nearly fell twice last week I have become more intentional with my walking.  I nearly had a heart attack.  It took me a moment to recover.
I know all of you have been idly reading my blog waiting to see if I will have the conclusion of The Song Title Dialog well, wait no longer. 
What you may have missed:  Alejandro’s car was smashed by a drunk girl named Iris.  Deliah told Alejandro that she was in love with a stripper.  Will Iris even call Alejandro back?!  Is Deliah really in love with a stripper or was she making that up?!  What is this “diary of Jane” that I mentioned for no apparent reason other than to be elusive?!
Deliah: “Alejandro” I have some “Confessions”.  I’m not “In Love with a Stipper”, I was quoting the “Diary of Jane”.  I wanted to encourage “Jealousy”.
“I Can’t Fight this Feeling” “I Honestly Love You!”
Alejandro: “It Can’t Be True!”
Deliah: “What Can I Say” to “Make You Feel My Love”?
Alejandro: “Stop!” It would be a “Bad Romance”
Deliah: There’s “No Such Thing” as a “Bad Romance!”
Alejandro: I’m “In Love with Someone Else”
Deliah: “Iris?”
Alejandro: “No”.
Deliah: “Who Dat Girl?!”
Alejandro: “Hey There, Deliah…”  “I LOVE Rock N’ Roll”
Deliah: I’ll “Bust Your Windows!”
I hope you all got a good laugh from The Song Title Dialog.  I had fun putting it together.  Maybe one day I will be inspired and have another episode. 
Tonight I would love some pizza.  I need to eat pizza before red sauce grosses me out next week.  I am concerned that all my calories are going to catch up with me sooner than later.  I guess I should enjoy eating while I want it, right?  My song of the day is in tribute to Deliah – “Bust Your Windows” – get him girl!
I’m off to work on my art project.  Night y’all!

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