Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Orange feet and fat legs...

6/28/11 – And the story continues….
Thursday after meeting Ashley at Walmart we booked it to Birmingham for our mani/pedi.  Ahhh….a mani/pedi, how relaxing.  We went to this place called Modern Nails.  It was really nice.  We started soaking our feet, I had a glass of wine, and we settled in for a relaxing time.  I had just gotten a spray tan the day before.  I got the dark tan this time to look good for the wedding.  Thing about a dark spray tan is that it sprays more on you.  More means darker, which also means that I have to put on more non-tan lotion on my feet and hands to avoid looking weird.  Guess who didn’t put on enough non-tan lotion?  Yes, I am pointing at myself and shaking my head in shame.  Shame.  The tan looked great by the second day but my hands and feet looked orange.  They needed exfoliating – stat!  Well, as the guy got ready to do my pedicure I had to put my foot on the towel for him to look and start working on my nails.  As soon as I pulled that orange foot up on the towel he said “Oh no…”  He was a trooper.  He scrubbed my heels and got all the orange off.  I left an orange ring around the tub! 
Another point of interest during our nail visit happened during my pedicure also.  I was wearing black jean leggings because I wanted to be comfortable but still look kinda cute.  I pulled the jeans up to the top of my calf when we sat down at the pedicure tubs because I knew they usually rub your legs during the whole spa pedicure thing.  So after assessing my orange feet my guy starts to rub the exfoliant stuff on my legs as part of the pedicure.  He sees the top of my jeans that are a little tight since they are leggings are well and says “Those are tight around your legs.  Your legs are fat.”  Hmmm.  Really?  Did I really just hear that?  Why is it that I seem to like that place more as he insulted me?  Maybe because they did really look like that?  There is a restaurant in Atlanta where the waiters and waitresses are very blunt and slightly insulting to their customers.  They have awesome food but they are also known for their atmosphere.  I think this nail salon might be a nail version of this restaurant.  Insult me once and may respect you (as long as I agree), insult me twice I might not be so nice.
Our nails turned out beautiful but took a little longer than we had expected.  After nails we had a lot to do – jewelry, pick up a wedding gift, snag a pair of Yellow Box shoes for me, get groceries for the reception, and pick up platters and crystal bowls for serving.  We headed to the Galleria Mall to pick up jewelry, some Yellow Box shoes, and Jason’s present.  We found the jewelry quickly.  As Ashley went to pick up the wedding gift for Jason, Mrs. Janet and I checked out the shoes.  I’ve never had a pair of Yellow Box shoes but I have worn Ashley’s when I was in town.  They were also on clearance and Mrs. Janet spotted me a $20.  Just enough to get a pair of oh-so-comfy blue and silver sparkly flip flops.  Score!  We were in and out of the Galleria in 15 minutes.  As we were walking through the doors to head back to the truck I said “that was my first time in the Galleria”.  Ashley looked at me and said “Really? That’s sad.  We will have to take you back.”
No time to rest.  Zero time to rest.  It was getting late and we booked it over to Costco.  We noticed there were not many people at Costco and worried that they were closed.  We parked and read on the door that they closed at 8:30.  It was 8:00 and we had Mrs. Janet with us.  I don’t know if you know this about Mrs. Janet but she is a professional shopper.  I should say professional browser.  I once took her into Big Lots for a quick look-and-buy and feared that I might have to camp out because she shopped and shopped and shopped.  Not what I had planned.  Ashley and I feared that we might get locked in Costco over night with the super shopper known as Janet.  Now that would be a story.
Mrs. Janet had to get a Costco card and Ashley and I talked our way in the door to start shopping.  When Ashley and I walked through the doors we were on a mission to get in and get out with Mrs. Janet in tow.  We hit the pickles and olives first and then Mrs. Janet joined us and we booked it to the cheese and produce and fruit finishing off with the rolls and mixed nuts.  There was one moment when I was returning from discovering the cheese’s hiding place that I noticed Mrs. Janet with the cart.  I could tell she was leaning in the direction of her super shopping.  I ran to catch the cart and set her back on track – “what do we need now?  Meatballs? Ok.  Let’s do this!”  I think Ashley and I set some Guinness world record or something – we made it in and out of Costco with Mrs. Janet in less than 30 minutes.  Yes, the “Bamberg Wallet Effect” did strike once again because Mrs. Janet had left her wallet when she got her Costco card.  We still count it as a victory.  I feel like shouting “freedom!” like on Braveheart for some reason. 
After Costco we were starving and I was beyond the hunger irritability line.  We decided on O’Charlie’s but unfortunately they were closed.  Logan’s Roadhouse was nearby so at 9:00 we walked in to eat dinner.  I was starving.  We ordered water and cokes and started chowing down on the yummy rolls and peanuts.  I was starting to look at my arm and contemplating spreading on a little ketchup for flavor, I was so hungry.  The rolls and whipped butter tasted like heaven.  It should come as no surprise that I downed 6 rolls.  Yes, I said 6.  Hungry girl’s gotta eat!  I should share that 3 of the rolls were in my dinner.  I got little sliders that came on rolls.  Ashley and Mrs. Janet both had left overs.  Wimps.  I cleaned my plate.  Hunger happens, foot helps.
It was around 10:00 when we finished up dinner.  We then booked it to Suzanne’s house.  Suzanne was making a chocolate table for the wedding and she has tons of platters and crystal to use for serving.  She stays up late so we headed to her house to pick out what Ashley might want or need to use.  I haven’t seen so much crystal in my life.  Suzanne’s house is beautiful and she had great ideas on what we needed to use and how to make things look good but still be functional.  It took us a while to pick out what we needed and then pack it up.  Mrs. Janet’s hip was starting to bother her so Ashley, Emily (Suzanne’s awesome granddaughter), and I packed and loaded everything.  I was doing the packing.  At one point I couldn’t figure out where the item was that they were telling me to wrap.  Mrs. Janet said something smart to me (in a joking way) and I said “Hey, you have to be nice to me.  I have cancer.”  Suzanne said “you can’t use that excuse for long.”  Reality check.  Thank goodness for that.  They made me laugh. 
The truck was finally loaded.  As Ashley, Mrs. Janet, and I walked to the truck I noticed that all three of us were walking with a limp.  We were worn out.  We made it home on fumes.  I could’ve used a cigarette, oh wait, I don’t smoke.  I definitely needed a drink!  I never worried I would have insomnia that night.  Sleep wasn’t illusive it was demanding. 
That wraps up one more day of the wedding saga.  Don’t fret.  I still have lots – LOTS – more to share about the weekend.  If I could have anything to eat I would like the Gigi’s cupcake that Todd picked up for me and mom.  I had chemo today.  My song of the day is “Take It to the Limit” by the Eagles.  Perfect!  “I’ve always been a dreamer…take it to the limit one more time!”  Dude, I’m pushing it to the limit.  I’ve got this week.  It can’t defeat me because I’m stronger than I know.
I have fat legs…. Oh, well, could be worse.  Night y’all!

No comments:

Post a Comment