Favorite Things

Happy 2011!

12/31/10 – I have had a lot of you ask me if I am still showering in the dark.  The answer is yes and no.  If it’s dark I do turn the light on, but if its day time I have more than enough light.  I still have no desire to stare at my incision.  Yes, I have finally looked at it, but it was more like a quick glance.  I have this fear that my belly button is no longer there though I know that is absolutely ridiculous.  I actually asked my surgeon when I had the staples removed and he laughed at me and said “yes, you still have your belly button.”  Did you know that you never really lose your belly button even if you have surgery in that area?  I just think that is nice to know.  It would really bother me if I didn’t have one.  So, I just check my incision from time to time to make sure my belly button is still there.  So far it hasn’t disappeared.

I noticed there were a few of you who brought up some more of my pet peeves.  You all know me too well, or I am too vocal about things that tick me off.  So, to complete, or should I say add to the list, here are a few more of my pet peeves:

-          As Erin pointed out people who pull out in front of you going fast and then drive very slow.  What is that about?!

-          People who add “s” to end of things that do not have an “s” on them or are already plural.  Such as Kroger – not Krogers.  Krogers is never ok, unless you are talking about Kroger’s pharmacy or Kroger’s awesome food selection. AWANA – not AWANAs.  AWANA is already plural – Approved Workman Are Not Ashamed – workman = plural.

-          People who pronounce poinsettia, pecan, and finance wrong.  You know who you are!  Cut it out! Yes, I looked in the dictionary and it is perfectly acceptable to pronounce poinsettia either way, but as far as I’m concerned it’s my way or the highway.  Oh, and people who know it annoys me and still do it, not funny.  Not funny at all.

-          School buses.  This requires no further explanation.  If you are my facebook friend please refer to my note labeled “WACM”.  I rest my case.

Today was a great day.  Todd was off work so he and I hung out, watched TV, and straightened up the house.  I went on another walk with my neighbor Lori.  She is also recuperating from surgery so we walk around the same pace.  We added another tenth to our walk today.  I’m feeling much more flexible and energetic.  Bekah showed up around 5:30 and we started our awesome New Year’s Party!  So far we have watched a little TV, eaten, played U Draw on Wii, watched a few fireworks outside, and now we have moved on to playing Wii Resort – I love bowling and sword play. 

Since it’s almost the New Year I think my song should be “My Favorite Things” from the Sound of Music.  I think we should end 2010 on a positive note, so hopefully that will carry through into 2011.  If I were to write the song some of my favorite things would be:

fireworks, things that sparkle, flowers, sunsets, the beach, butterflies, shoes, time with family, puppies, plays, music, sunshine, stormy days, Christmas, roller coasters, snow, candles that smell like foods, dark chocolate, mascara, pizza, shadows, fireflies, being outside on beautiful days, crisp mornings, fuzzy socks, getting my hair done, lip gloss, Coke, BBQ, singing, the color red, bon fires, pedicures …

Well, I’m off to play some more Wii.  I hope everyone has a very happy New Year.  Don’t forget to eat your black-eyed peas and collard greens tomorrow! 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 - Happy New Year!

Smile or Cry - what to do?

12/30/10 – Hello all!  Each day I have started setting goals for myself.  Yesterday’s goal was to walk to the next street, down and back.  I am happy to report that I accomplished my goal.  I walked .54 miles.  It is a light downhill slope to the next street and then a moderate hill back to the house.  There were times when I wondered if I would hyperventilate on the side of the road, but I made it!  Success!  Yes, I was sweating and breathing like I just ran a marathon, but I did it!  Small victories.

Last night we went to Lake Lanier’s Magical Nights of Lights.  I had already brought a groupon, so we kind of had to go or I would be throwing away $30.  It was nice, but I think I was tired because I never took my nap after waking up at 4:00 yesterday.  I wasn’t in the best of moods and was getting sleepy fast.  We were riding around in the dark looking at Christmas lights.  It was cool and going after the holidays is definitely the way to go, but something is just kind of sad when there is a sign that recommends you tune your radio to 98.5 for Christmas music but wind up listening to Delilah instead.  I’m just sayin’.

After looking at Christmas lights my head cold was kicking in and we started talking about my pet peeves, namely Frosty flavors.  I decided that a Frosty would make my scratchy throat feel oh so much better.  Plus, the fact that we have been watching a lot of TV since I’ve been stuck at home and one person can only watch so many commercials for the new sea salt hand cut fries at Wendy’s without wanting to try one.  Needless to say, I got a Frosty (Frosty flavor) and fries.  They were yummy!  A definite improvement upon the original Wendy’s fries.

Once I got home Todd and mom started playing Tiger Woods golf.  The only interest I had in the golf game was how Stella kept watching the golf ball on the TV screen.  It was pretty funny.  She would sit there and just stare at the TV (which is not normal for her).  I quickly became bored and decided to watch Toddlers and Tiaras.  It’s like watching a train wreck, but I can’t look away!  Maybe it was the hot toddy and the vapor rub, but something about that show intrigues me.  Anyway, I finally got a good night sleep.  Yay!   

Today mom and I went to Larson-Juhl to pick up a picture I had framed before the surgery and to say “hey” to all my coworkers.  It was really nice to see everyone and my desk looked like a jungle filled with tons of flowers and plants!  I felt a little out of it because in my mind I feel just like the usual me but when I get around larger groups or in public I can tell that I’m not back to normal yet.  I’m not as talkative as I was before.  I loved getting to see everyone.  Lots of hugs all around.  I’ve noticed that I hug people a lot more now.  If you are some random stranger reading my blog, if I saw you in public and you were to say “Hey, you’re Shea.  I read your blog” I would totally hug you!

We couldn’t stay at work too long because we had a hair appointment to make.  I love love love to get my hair done!  Love!  There is something about hair color, the driers they make you sit under, and knowing that you’re going to have an awesome style that just make me happy!  Each day I try to write down 2 things that make me happy for no good reason (I think the song Blink by Revive really got to me).  Well, today I wrote “getting my hair done” along with “things that sparkle”.  If anyone needs a good hair stylist/therapist I highly recommend Salon Sedona on Pleasant Hill, ask for Carie.  So, my busy day wrapped up with fabulous hair and then heading home to relax.

Mom packed up and headed home as soon as we got back from Carie’s.  I was all alone…  I changed into my fluffy robe and got comfortable.  Todd was working 8 – 5, so I shouldn’t have too long by myself.  Well, at 5:00 I get a call from Todd that his manager needs him to work later for a project – ok, c’est la vie.  I had already started watching a movie I had recorded pre-surgery.  Picture it – me in my robe with cute hair, curled up on the couch, watching a girly movie all alone.  All I need to make this a perfect picture is a few more cats and tissue to cry into.  I’ve decided that watching Lifetime love movies while home alone is destructive and no one should ever do it.  Tears are bound to happen.  It what Lifetime thrives on.  One Sunday when Todd and I first got married I watched Lifetime and ate a whole box of Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls while Todd was at work!  A whole box!  Why didn’t I learn my lesson then?  In the future I will suck it up and watch Holmes on Homes instead.

So, that’s basically my day.  Nothing too too interesting but I did accomplish my goal for the day – to visit work and get my hair done.  I had some delicious taco soup for dinner tonight and last night I finally got the Chinese food I’ve been wanting since I was told not to eat anymore after snacking on Todd’s left over Long John Silver’s.  I could, however, go for some greasy potato chips.  Ruffles!  Since I mentioned it earlier I think my song of the day should be Blink.  I absolutely love that song.  It really puts a lot of things into perspective for me.  “Teach me to number my days, And count every moment before it slips away, Take in all the colors before they fade to grey, I don’t want to miss even just a second more of this.  It happens in a blink, it happens in a flash, it happens in the time it takes to look back,…”  Those simple words challenged me, even before all of this – before cancer – to think about the things that I love.  The little things that make me happy daily.  No, they don’t have to be spiritual.  They just have to be things that you would miss if you didn’t have them or simple things that make you smile.  This summer we were riding in the boat and as we were riding along I looked up and saw a butterfly flying alongside us for just a moment, but that is a moment I will never forget – a moment that made me feel very small but made me smile. 

Enough sappiness.  I’m going to relax some more. Maybe watch Toddlers and Tiaras again.  I hope you all have a great night!  Smile.

Oh, Mr. Sandman...

12/29/10 – Hello All… I don’t know if you will notice this or not but I am writing at a slightly different time than usual.  Even when I am perfectly healthy I have zero desire to see 5:00 in the morning.  I believe certain times of day are superior to others and 5:00 ranks pretty low on my scale.  I’m fond of 9:45.

So, why am I up so early this morning? Why have I been up for the past hour and a half? Is there some great conundrum of the universe that has been weighing on my mind? Some problem that I can’t seem to stop thinking about? Nope.  The head cold that I have been running from since the first of September has finally caught up with me.  Perfect timing!  Not. No one ever has time to have a sore throat, snuffy nose, and a horrible headache.  I’ve never lost sleep over a head cold, but I think this one is just bound and determined to break me. 

At 4:00 I was tossing and turning – maybe that should be my song for this hour of the morning?  At 4:30 I realized sleep just wasn’t a possibility.  I started praying.  What better time to pray than when you’re tired but can’t sleep, right?  Obviously God had me awake for a reason.  Have you ever prayed and then lost track half way through?  Sounds really wrong, right?  Well, that’s what happened to me.  I’m not sure what I thought of instead praying.  I just know I talked with God a little and then I kind of drifted off in thought.  I decided to get up, go to the bathroom, and check facebook.  You may not believe this but many people don’t post to facebook between the hours of 12:00 and 5:00 – I was counting on someone to be awake to offer me some diversion and reading material.  At 4:45 I took some Tylenol to try to help the headache and throat pain – I feel like I could shoot fire out of my mouth!  At 5:00 I was lying in bed again wondering how quickly the Tylenol should kick in and noticed I was mentally writing my blog.  No better time than the present, right?  So here I am at 5:25 writing my blog.  Dedication, I know.

One thing I realized when I got up is that Stella (my cat) is on the prowl during the nighttime hours.  I have never been too afraid of the dark in my own house and will just walk around without turning lights on.  (What’s the point?  They hurt your eyes and then turning them off is just another thing for you to do before going back to bed.) Picture it.  I’m sitting at my laptop on the dining room table.  No lights on.  Suddenly I see eyes to my right. Jingle, jingle (she has a bell on).  Eyes by my feet. Jingle. (Did I mention she’s a solid black cat so all I can see is her eyes?) Eyes reflecting back at me over my computer!  Jingle, jingle, jingle.  Where will she be next?  She’s like a mini ninja with claws and sharp teeth!  I feel like I’m being hunted in my own house!  If we ever had an intruder I believe Stella would put up a much better fight than Buster (our boxer).  She scares me to death!  So far I have survived unscathed.  Hopefully I can last a bit longer.

Well, I cannot honestly say that writing has relaxed me, but at least it gave me something to do and hopefully provided you some entertainment through my personal frustration.  I guess I’m going to lie in bed again and contemplate the universe.  Maybe I’ll be able to pray properly this time and not get side tracked.  One thing is for certain.  I am taking a nap sometime today!

What flavor Frosty would you like?

12/28/10 – Can I just tell you that yesterday after I finished typing my blog Todd turns to me and says “Can I borrow the laptop once you’re finished?  I just accidentally purchased a PlayStation 3.”  What?!  How do you “accidentally” buy a PS3?  I’m sure if he can accidentally buy a PS3 I can think of something I can “accidentally” buy too – LOL!  Apparently Todd thought there was another step in the purchase screen and wanted to see what the payment plan options were so he clicked the button and it ordered it.  Oh my!  Let’s just say the order has since been cancelled.

Last night I started to feel a little head cold starting (not cool).  I don’t want to whine but I just don’t have time for a head cold, not to mention the fact that I can’t take anything with Sudafed because it raises my blood pressure.  I’m stuck with throat spray and Claratin.  Fingers crossed that this does not get any worse.  So far, I had my first real sneeze since the surgery and can I just say it hurt, a lot!  I’m just glad it happened now and not when I was at the hospital or when I first came home. 

Mom and I continued our Harry Potter movie marathon and watched The Chamber of Secrets today.  I thought we could squeeze two in today but that just didn’t happen.  I have started making mental daily schedules for myself.  I need to start seeing if I can keep to a schedule and gage how much I can do during a day.  So, my schedule for today was to write 2 letters, watch Harry Potter, and then straighten up the house some.  I accomplished all my goals!  Yes, I did have to use my “work during the commercials” strategy, but when you get tired quickly and can’t stand for too long it works out brilliantly.  I wonder if I can use the “work during the commercials” strategy when I go back to work??

Todd bought Tiger Woods 2011 for the Wii.  I have zero desire to play Tiger Woods.  Wouldn’t it be cool if the Tiger Woods game tested your ability to extract phone numbers off others’ cell phones? Now, that, would be a game I would be interested in playing!

Brad and Yen brought over some of my favorite beer tonight – Ommegang Witte.  It was really great. The little bit of beer I had hit the spot.  It was nice to just hang out and talk with friends.  While Brad and Yen were over Todd took the time to list all my pet peeves.  (I'm not sure why he chose then as the perfect time to list out all my "craziness", but he did.) As it stands my pet peeves are:

-          People not untying their shoe laces. Shoes last so much longer if you untie the laces. Todd never unties his shoe laces.

-          What is classified as good BBQ.  Chain BBQ places are not really BBQ.  If you think Sonny’s is good BBQ all I have to say is “bless your heart”.

-          How/When people use the term BBQing (burgers is classified as grilling! not BBQing! You do not BBQ burgers.)

-          You should never be asked what flavor Frosty you want.  Frosties are only chocolate!  They should really ask “Would you like a Frosty or a vanilla Frosty?”  Who’s with me on this one?!

-          How Paula Dean uses the word “y’all”.  She makes all Southern people look like performers.  I use the word y’all organically.  Paula Dean just throws it around.  As a Southern person I take offence to her use of the word in general. 

I’m sure I have more pet peeves but I can’t think of them right now.  As they spring to mind I’ll bring them up.  I’m sure you are all interested in what bugs me.

Kristina brought me some homemade caramels tonight which were yummy!  Homemade caramel people!  It’s so yummy!  I am back on to my burger kick.  I need a cheese burger.  I need one so bad I am contemplating just going to Burger King and getting a Jr. Whopper.  I’ve been told I need to hold out for Marlow’s Tavern.  It better be worth it!  My song of the day would be Ke$ha “You’re Love is My Drug” – yeah, I went there!  Enjoy having it run through your head all night – ha haaha! Good night all!

I hate me too!

12/27/10 – I survived my two Christmases.  I had a really great time.  Yesterday morning we woke up to play in the snow a little and then have hash brown casserole – YUM!  After we finished one meal we start working on the next – that’s just how we role!  We lounged around and enjoyed family time.  Mark grilled a fabulous beef tenderloin for our “Christmas” dinner.  Around 3 o’clock we had our second meal of the day – grilled beef tenderloin, baked potato, salad, along with all the sauces and fixings.  It was a lovely meal.  Dad and Granny headed home after we cleaned up the kitchen.  That left me, Todd, mom, Mark, and Erin.  What to do? How about some online shopping and TV?

Each of us girls looked for something we wanted.  I want a sapphire necklace to go with my earrings and bracelet, Erin wanted boots, and mom wants a jacket – notice how Erin’s is past tense?  Yeah, she was able to find what she wanted, mom and I are still searching.  I have plenty of time – nothing but time to sit and recuperate.

A little later in a day we decided to pull out our Glee season 1 DVD and introduce mom, Erin and Mark to all the fun.  I heart Glee.  Mom survived watching it and one time I would have sworn she was asleep until she said “that sounded good!” Ha haha!  She cracks me up.  I love to sing along with the show.  Sometimes I find Todd just starting at me waiting for me to break out into song.  I have to admit that I find it hard at times.  Y’all should have seen me when we went to see Wicked at the Fox.  I had all the songs memorized and had added my own flair and inflection to them.  If something terrible had happened to one of the actresses and her understudy I would have totally been prepared to step in.  I bet the people sitting in front of me hated me – or they could have been thinking “that girl behind us should totally audition for the part of Galinda!”  (Total bunny trail, but that was the best birthday present I EVER got.  Going to see Wicked at the Fox and staying at Georgian Terrace.  If/When I make it back to New York I am so going to see Wicked on Broadway.)

I finally made it out of the house on non-doctor-related-business today.  Erin and Mark were headed out of town so we all went to eat at Mojitos (if anyone needs a good Cuban restaurant in the Atlanta area, go to Mojitos in Norcross) and Todd met us during his lunch hour.  The food like always was delicious.  I am eating like a bird lately.  I can only eat about 1/3 of what I normally would have consumed during a meal pre-surgery.  It hurts my feelings because the food is so good and there aren’t too many things that I love more than good food.  I love to eat!  Maybe that is why our refrigerator is so full?  I refuse to throw out the food because I want to eat it! 

I stepped on the scale the other day just out of curiosity.  I have been eating better and thought I might have gained some weight.  Nope, down a pound – SWEET!  I stepped on the scale this morning fully aware that I had to have gained like 3 pounds.  I ate a ton yesterday – beef tenderloin, baked potato, cake, buckeyes, red velvet bites (Yum!), … Can you believe it?  I lost another pound!  I know, I know!  I hate me too!  I am now down a total 13 lbs.  My New Year’s resolution is going to be to keep off the weight that I’ve lost.

It was nice to get out and have some fun today, but it really wore me out.  As I was sitting at lunch my eyes started to get heavy and I just felt very tired.  I am amazed at how simple things, like getting ready to go somewhere or going out to lunch, wear me out!  Once mom and I got home we started working on one of my “to do’s” while I’m stuck on the couch – watching all my Harry Potter movies.  We started with the first one.  I wanted to watch all of them before I saw the first installment of The Deathly Hallows but that didn’t quite work out.  I figure watching them now is just as good.  Hopefully I can fit 2 movies in tomorrow.

I had a yummy dinner tonight and got some fabulous Ritz crackers with peanut butter inside dipped in chocolate today, so I don’t really want anything else to eat.  There were only a few Ritz and I had to share with Todd and mom.  I think mom and I might have to make some of our own tomorrow.  My song of the day would be “Wishin’ and hopin’, and thinkin’, and prayin’”.  The oncologist’s office called today and scheduled a consultation for January 5^th.  I’m a little nervous, but I’m also ready to get this knocked out!  I know I will feel better once I know what the plan is – I love to have a plan laid out (I have type A tendencies).

Well, good night all.  Go Falcons! (Sometimes I like to pretend I care about football.)

Blue Christmas

The Beginnings of our White Christmas!

12/25/10 – Merry Christmas to all!  I hope everyone is having a great Christmas.  At our house we are on to our second Christmas.  Technically it is Christmas Eve here.  – Yes, I do realize it is Christmas day in the real world, but at the Bamberg house in Sugar Hill, GA it is Christmas Eve.  No matter what day we get together we always act as though the days we are together are Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

Yesterday Todd and I hung out and relaxed.  We really didn’t do anything special – no, we did not even make it to Super Kroger (bummer).  It was a great day. 

Todd has been watching for a package in the mail the last several days.  Each day the mail comes he stands on the front door and just kind of pouts.  He even consulted with his sister who works at the post office in Centreville.  The package he was waiting for finally came yesterday.  Finally!  Finally!  He came inside and started going through everything.  He had ordered 10 colon cancer awareness bracelets, a necklace for my mom that says “faith, hope, love” and has navy ribbons on it, and a Swarovski crystal/sterling silver colon cancer awareness bracelet.  He handed me the box with the bracelet in it.  I opened it and smiled really big.  The more I smiled the harder it was to hold the tears back.  The bracelet was exactly what I wanted.  Everything has happened so fast it has been really hard for me to process that I have cancer.  I don’t feel sick.  I feel just like me.  But, I have colon cancer.  How? How did this happen?  Yes, on some level it does bother me but I really am ok.  I am wrapped in the peace that surpasses understanding.  The bracelet just symbolizes all that I have been through over the past 3 months.  I went from thinking I was lactose intolerant to finding out I have cancer (that just makes me laugh every time I say that – LOL!).  I know I have a road ahead of me and that road is not always going to be easy. The bracelet basically means that I am greater than this because this doesn’t define me, it gives me character – flair, if you will (and I LOVE flair!). 

So, the Hardens got into town today.  They cooked, cooked, cooked just like the Bambergs.  We watched Christmas movies and watched the rain turn to snow.  I have never had a white Christmas – this really is a special year for me on so many levels.  Erin and Mark got into town and our ensemble was complete.  We had another yummy “Christmas Eve” dinner (remember we moved our days back) – potato soup, sandwiches, BLT dip, cheese ring, chicken salad, and sausage.  After dinner we hung out and then exchanged gifts.  We always exchange names at Christmas.  My wonderful brother-in-law got my name and he gave me sapphire earrings!  All of these classic navy items really touch my heart.  The Bambergs got almost everything on my Christmas list, so Mark and Erin went off the list and got something very sentimental.  I told Mark that I could have cried again, but I didn’t know how it would look if I got jewelry from him and then I started crying – can anyone say awkward??  The earrings are perfect!

I hope to have some beautiful snow covered pictures for all of you tomorrow morning.  Everyone say a little prayer for my dad.  He has already thrown one snowball in my house and I don’t know if he will survive throwing another.  I may move slower but I’m not completely incapable of taking him out! Bam!

I have eaten everything I wanted.  The only thing I would ask for is to be able to eat more because I want MORE!  It’s all so yummy.  My song for the day is “White Christmas”! Holla (that’s for my LJ girls)!

We are off to watch Home Alone (the first one!) thanks to the DeVaney’s.  I can’t wait!  Merry, Merry! Love!

Dear Santa,

You’re awesome!

Best Regards,

Shea

Staples and Stars

12/24/10 – Merry Christmas Eve all! 

This having surgery is for the birds.  I am tired of not being able to sleep properly.  My pillow mountain is not working as well as it did earlier.  Last night I actually woke up at 5:00 and couldn’t go back to sleep.  I decided that I would sleep better on the couch than in the bed.  I fell asleep praying on the couch.  I guess God heard my prayer because I got a good 4 hours of sleep, but when I woke up my back still hurt - sigh.  Maybe I’m overcompensating for my stomach muscles with my back?  I decided that taking a Percocet for my back wouldn’t be right – check back in a few hours to see if I still feel that way.  As of 1:30 today I will have gone 24 hours without any pain meds.  Yay me!

I took my last Percocet before I went to have my staples removed.  I was scared but ready to have the staples taken out.  They were pinching me.  I kept envisioning my doctor coming at me with a staple remover from work.  When I got there the wire snippers that he used did NOT make me feel calm.  They totally freaked me out!  Everyone says that having staples removed doesn’t really hurt – “some of them may pinch more than others.”  Holy cow!  I did not like it one bit.  Yes, I’m glad the staples came out and my doctor was very fast, but it was not comfortable.  They all pinched to me! Once the staples were removed they put some strips on the incision that will stay on 7 – 10 days.  For some reason the strips kinda burned when he put them on.  After that I was allowed to sit in a chair until the doctor came back to talk to me.  The more I sat in that chair the funnier I felt. – “They took my staples out.  My incision hurt.  It pinched.  Those strips burned.  My incision hurts.  Why are things getting fuzzy?  Why does Todd look like ants on a TV screen are on him?” – “Todd, I think I’m going to pass out?”  Todd went and found the nurse and my doctor and they brought me a bottle of water.  I sat a while longer and read a People magazine.  I eventually start to feel like myself.  The doctor came back in and asked if I felt ok or if I needed to sit a little longer.  I told him that I felt much better.  He smiled and we kind of laughed that people normally don’t almost pass out when they have staples removed.  So, I almost passed out when I had my staples removed! Yup! I’m not proud, but I’m not surprised either.  My name is Shea and I almost passed out when I had my staples removed.  (Am I the only one who thinks I have a lot of things that I have to admit in this way?)

I know what you’re thinking… No, I have not looked at the incision still.  I am considering it in the near future now that I don’t look like a robot.  Right now I look like a mummy with those strips on me.  I did get Todd to take a picture of me before they were removed just in case I want to see what I looked like in the future.  (Don’t worry.  I won’t post the picture on my blog – at least not yet.)

We had our first Christmas lunch/dinner last night.  It was awesome.  I’m now able to eat “real” food.  We had ham (remember the 20lb ham I mentioned before), shoe string casserole (YUM!), squash dressing, green beans, deviled eggs, sweet tea (well, splenda sweet).  It was all wonderful.  The only sad part is that I can’t eat as much as I used to.  Maybe I’ll actually lose some weight this year?

The Bambergs headed home around 6:00 yesterday and left me all alone with Todd.  We wound up having a good night.  We watched The Santa Claus and Home Alone 2 (Why? Why do they not show Home Alone 1? It’s a Christmas movie too.), had a nice fire, and just relaxed.  It was a really nice night.  I am contemplating whether I feel up for going out in public today.  I might be able to walk a little and then sit, walk a little and then sit.  I just don’t know.  Todd said that we could go to the Super Kroger near the house and get stuff to make chocolate covered peanut butter Ritz – Wow! My excitement of the day is going to the Super Kroger.  I lead a sad, sad life.  What’s really sad is that I think going to Kroger sounds like fun – LOL!  The Hardens are coming into town tomorrow so I have to get ready for that.

I’m not really hungry today.  I ate a lot yesterday.  I think I would like something light, like maybe my Peach Slice Plus smoothie from Smoothie King.  My song of the day is “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”.  Todd says that is appropriate since I almost passed out.  I think I’m a walking comedy show for him. 

Stella decided to help me with my writing today.  She was attacking me as I wrote.  She goes kind of crazy at Christmas time.  I think she thinks the tree and all the boxes and paper are her personal jungle and reverts back to her inner wild animal.  Here’s a pic of her while I was typing. 

I hope everyone has a great Christmas Eve!

Christmas Time is Here

12/22/10 – I thought I would post one more blog today just to keep up my daily updates. 

I pretty much laid around this morning and relaxed.  I have a goal to watch every Lifetime and Hallmark Christmas movie available.  I think I am pretty close to accomplishing my goal.  I’ve watched The Good Witch’s Gift, A Christmas Wedding, Moonlight and Mistletoe, Call Me Mrs. Miracle, An Old-Fashioned Christmas, Farewell Mr. Kringle, On Strike for Christmas, Comfort and Joy, …  and the list goes on and on and on.  I admit there is never much of a plot and you only have to watch about 2 minutes to figure out exactly what is going to happen, but there is something about this time of year that makes me want to watch cheesy, girly movies.  It just isn’t Christmas without overdone/total cheese movies.  Does anybody agree with me?

So, after watching one of my Lifetime movies I got a call from an RN that works for United Health Care.  I thought it was so cool that my health insurance provides an RN for me to ask questions and go over my insurance with during this time.  I don’t really have any questions yet, but I think that is because I don’t know what questions to ask.  I have to admit that when she first called and said she was from United Health Care I was a little hesitant.  Is this a trick?  Are they baiting me into something so that they won’t have to cover my procedures?  After she explained everything and that this was a service that they provided along with my regular insurance I decided that she was probably ok.  My insurance already knew what was going on with me because they had approved my surgery.  I’m sure me talking to the RN is good for me but also good for them because they can assess that I am taking the proper measures to take care of myself so as to decrease my chances of having further expenses.  Either way, I think it’s a win/win situation.

Speaking of medical stuff, I am going to get my staples removed tomorrow.  Sweet!  I am so taking a Percocet before I go (quick bunny trail update – I am not taking as much Percocet now as I originally needed – Yay!).  I am scared to death that the surgeon will come at me with huge staple removers or that I will have to watch it happen.  Maybe I can wear my sunglasses while it happens?  Wonder if I can get a shot of nova cane in the area before they’re removed? I’m gonna need something.  I know the surgeon said that it wouldn’t hurt but I wonder has he ever had staples removed?  Do you ever wonder if people who tell you things won’t hurt have ever had those things done to them?  I DO! Constantly.  Especially when I got the epidural, and I know I will wonder that tomorrow when the staples are removed.  I still have not looked at my incision.  Maybe I will get the courage to look once I don’t look like a robot.  Everyone please say a little prayer for my sanity around 10:00 tomorrow.  Hopefully after the staples are removed I will be able to shower or change clothes without having to pick a spot up high to focus on.  I’ve learned that I have pretty good balance.  Try changing clothes looking up the whole time.  It’s not that easy.  I think I might be pretty good at yoga. 

Tonight we are going to watch the best Christmas movie ever – Christmas Vacation!  “I dedicate this blog to the Bamberg family Christmas.”  = )  Tomorrow we are having our Christmas dinner/lunch.  Ashley got a 20lb ham from work.  I have no clue where we are going to put a 20lb ham!  That’s an insane amount of pork.  I’m excited because I get some of my favorites – green beans, shoe string casserole, and squash dressing.  Then, the Hardens come and I get all my other favorites.  I am totally on board with not being able to lift or bend too much during the holidays – this is fabulous!  Everyone comes to me, cooks, and cleans up everything too.  Win. Win. Win. Yes!

Right now my sister-in-law is threatening to beat-up Mrs. Janet.  I am hopeful that something interesting will happen in the near future.  Ashley scares me so I will not be jumping into the fight.  “Fourth rule of Fight Club: Only two guys to a fight.” I am totally ok with that.

I don’t really have any foods that I would love to have.  Ashley made me macaroni and cheese soup!  It was awesome – exactly what I wanted.  It tastes a lot like potato soup, but with macaroni instead.  Since I am in a Christmas Vacation mood the song that’s running through my head today is the theme song.   “It’s that time, Christmas time is here, Everybody know there’s not a better time of year, …”  Merry, Merry!

It's so fluffy I'm gonna die!

12/22/10 – Well, the Bambergs got into town yesterday and I neglected to write my blog.  They always have something going on and make me completely forget what I had planned to do in the first place.  I guess that’s not a bad problem to have.

Yesterday morning I took it easy (big surprise).  Mom and I just hung out.  Dad and Granny showed up around 2:00 to spend some time with me and pick up mom.  We had a nice visit and they brought us all French silk pie (yum!).  They packed mom up and headed home around 3:00.  Yes!  Home alone!  Without a sitter!  I could lie and say it was awesome to have my freedom but to be honest it wasn’t very different from when mom was here – she pretty much left me alone.  The main difference was I had to fix my own juice and fluff my pillows.  I think I turned out to the good having her around.  (Love ya mom!)

Todd got home and we had a little time just us before his mom, Ashley, and Jason showed up.  Todd is in the process of turning our gas fireplace into a wood burning fire place with a gas starter – Yay!  What is the point of having a gas fireplace?  Who thought of that?  Boring…  It wastes gas, doesn’t smell good, doesn’t heat up the house too much, and is just overall blah.  I am so excited about having a “real” fire.  The warmth, smell, and crackle make me happy.

We watched Despicable Me last night.  It was hilarious!  For those of you who have seen it, all I can says is “It’s so fluffy I’m gonna die! FLUFFY!”  If you haven’t seen it, watch it!  I like to pretend like this blog has some power and I can influence your daily decisions – LOL!  I do think I have a little power because there have been a lot of you who have gone and gotten burgers just because I keep talking about them.  So, rent/buy/just watch Despicable Me and tell me if you don’t feel the overwhelming urge to sing the unicorn song and scream the word “fluffy”. 

I did get to open one of my Christmas presents early and it was the soft/fluffy robe that I asked for.  It is perfect and feels like a baby blanket - It also matches my house shoes (I'm such a weirdo, but warmth is important to me).  It is "so fluffy I'm gonna die!" Love it!

I have OneRepublic Secrets stuck in my head.  Mostly the part that goes “I need another story, something to get off my chest, my life is kinda boring, need something that I can confess..”  I think I find myself boring – sad, right?  Maybe if I had a peppermint milk shake from Chick-fil-A I would be more interesting?  Let’s see if I can swing a milk shake for Christmas.  Merry Christmas all! 

Relax

12/20/10 – Hey y’all!  It’s been another good day.

I slept much better last night.  I made myself a little mountain out of pillows, which really helped.  When Todd came into the room and saw my pillow craziness he started laughing.  I think I wound up sleeping with 5 pillows! Just call me the princess and the pea.

I walked around a lot today.  I was starting to think that I could actually go on a short walk in the neighborhood.  I learned a lot about how to be a Top Model.  I am going to do my hair and makeup weird each day and have a photo shoot and all of you can decide if I can continue in the competition.  I enjoyed watching senseless television, but I’m a little upset with Bravo.  As I’m watching America’s Next Top Model a regular commercial comes on about how colon and rectal cancer is the number 2 cancer killer!  What?! Bravo! You were supposed to build me up and make me critical of peoples’ food, fashion, and lifestyles in general – well isn’t that what Top Chef, Top Model, and The Real Housewives are about?  I decided since they said “people over 50” I could disregard what they were saying.  I still changed the channel during the commercial for good measure.  They were just trying to educate people to get tested.  My doctor did nothing but make me think positive about beating this. 

After noon I got a little stiff, so I took a nap and tried to rest.  Christmas starts tomorrow, so I need all the rest I can get.  I don’t really have a funny story for today, but I am confident that I will get a lot of material over the next few days – the Bambergs and the Hardens are coming.  How can that not be a good laugh?

I have to share a really sweet story.  When I was being put under for the surgery Nichole told me to think of somewhere I would like to travel.  I said “I’m going to St. Thomas, and I’m taking Todd.”  When I came out of anesthesia the first thing I said was “I didn’t dream of St. Thomas…”  Everyone thought that was so funny.  (Looking back on it, I’m surprised I remembered that is what I said before going into surgery.)  Well, one of my friends had a sister who was in St. Thomas at the time.  He got his sister to pick up a St. Thomas t-shirt for me.  How sweet!  I don’t want to toot anyone’s horn, and I know he wouldn’t say it himself, but I just wanted to share.  I guess now, in a way, I have been back to St. Thomas!

I would love a pizza please! Pepperoni, mushrooms, feta, extra garlic! (VJ, can I get some garlic knots too? Please.) YUM!  My song for the day is “Relax don’t do it, When you want to go to it, …”  I promise I will have more interesting stories tomorrow. Good night sweet dreams!

2 Nuts and a Tree!

12/19/10 – Second post of the day - as promised.  Just another day at home (I love saying that! HOME!)… 

Last night I fell asleep to Todd panicking because he had poured too much water into the Christmas tree and it had poured over and completely soaked the towel underneath the stand.  He was worried that our hardwood would start to bow because of the collection of water.  So, at 12:30 Todd and my mom are sliding our 9ft Christmas tree across our living room and into the kitchen where there is tile.  Since I was in bed and too stiff to move and too sore to endure anymore laughter this is an excerpt of what I heard:

TODD:  (talking to me) “I poured too much water in the tree stand!  It ran over and onto the floor.  Our floor is going to be ruined!”

Todd goes back into the living room.

TODD: “Grr…” “Pull”

MOM: “What’s going on?” (at this point Todd tells his predicament once again)

MOM: “Well, let me help.”

TODD: “I’m pulling it to the kitchen.”  CRASH!!! “Well, that’s our first fatality.”

ME: (from the bedroom) “sigh….”

MOM: “It’s too tall.  It’s stuck on the ceiling going into the kitchen!” (our living room has a vaulted ceiling but the kitchen does not)

They must have made it to where they were going.

TODD: “Ok, here’s what we’re going to do.  I’ll lift the tree and you can slide another towel under the tree.”  JINGLE, JINGLE, weird noise I can’t describe… “We almost lost it!  Let’s try one more time.  I didn’t lift right.”

TODD: JINGLE, JINGLE, SWISH “Got it!”

I didn’t know this until the next day, but when Todd lifted the tree it almost fell on my mom.  They got it to work the second time, mopped up the water under the tree, and traded out the soaked towel for a fresh one.  There was only one ornament lost in the fiasco.  If anyone needs a 9ft tree moved around their house give Todd and my mom a call.  They are pros.

I did not realize this, but apparently when you have surgery and can’t move a whole lot you spouse will start to look for sitters for you.  Todd went to church this morning and mom thought about going to the candle light service tonight.  They started talking about if they were both gone what they would “do” with me?!  What?! I need a sitter!  Ha hahaha ha!  That’s hilarious.  I wonder how much people get for babysitting adults?  I like to think I am self sufficient, but I have to understand that right now there are things that I just can’t do for myself.  The fact that I can’t bend too far, walk or stand much, and get tired easily probably play a big role in this. 

I am a little worried that I am becoming a burden.  I feel bad always asking for stuff.  “Mom, can you get me something to drink?”  “Todd, will you help me get out of bed?” “I need to take my medicine.” “I’m hungry.  Can you hand me a roll?”  "Todd, will you type my blog?" (Do I sound needy, or is it just the percocet?)  It seems like I am completely dependent on others.  Yes, there are some things I can do for myself, but there is no way I would make it day to day without help.  This is definitely a humbling situation.  I don’t really say any of this for you to feel bad for me, but I do realize that this blog is about what’s going on with me.  This is something that I have started to wonder about.  But, like my mom says “it’s a cinch by the inch, but it’s hard by the yard.”  I just need to breathe and take it one day at a time.

I have had some yummy food again today.  Mom made me some homemade mac and cheese and I had some pigs in a blanket (minus the pigs).  I would love some loaded baked potato soup.  My song of the day is “I wanna hippopotamus for Christmas…”  I’m watching The Santa Claus trying to get into the spirit.  Later!

The Tale of the Night Light

12/19/10 – As promised this is my first installment of my blog for the day.  I have to make up for what I lost yesterday. 

Yesterday was great!  I finally got to go home.  I hung out at the hospital until about 12:00.  My right hand was thrilled to finally be liberated from that horrible IV.  I was worried about when it would be taken out, but the nurse was great.  It really didn’t hurt at all.  Luckily I got some oral pain meds before I left the hospital because the ride home was rough.  Lots of bumps and turns, but I survived.

Once I got home I did not do too much.  I mostly parked it on the couch and slept.  It is nice to have a huge Christmas tree in the room you’re stuck in.  It makes feeling puny a little more tolerable. 

Yesterday was slightly traumatic for two reasons – I accidentally saw my scar and I took my first real shower since the surgery.  I don’t really know how the first happened, but as soon as it did I wished it hadn’t.  You will be happy to know that I did not pass out, so we have to celebrate the small victories.  The second traumatic experience was obviously planned.  My hair was in need or a washing and I was starting to feel yucky without an actual shower.  Since I am afraid of seeing the incision (just because I accidentally saw some of it does NOT mean that I am ok with looking at it now) the whole shower experience had to be very strategic.  (Now don’t worry, I’m not going to get into any details, just one main funny thing to share).  I could not take a shower with the lights on!  When the lights were on I was too tempted to look down – don’t look down, don’t look down, do not look down.  There wasn’t enough light to shower completely in the dark.  Todd had to put a night light in the bathroom for me to shower – There!  I said it! I showered in the dark with a night light.  And, it was wonderful!  “Hi.  My name is Shea and I shower with a night light.”

My funny story for yesterday is about Todd, or more like  Kroger Pharmacy.  So, I have a prescription for Percocet (yep, I’ve got the good stuff).  Todd went to Kroger to get groceries and fill my prescription.  They got me mac and cheese, Hawaiian rolls, ice cream, juice, rice, potatoes, and yogurt – yum!  As soon as they got to Kroger Todd turned in the prescription.  The pharmacist made him answer a gazillion questions about who the meds were for, why he needed them, where I was, why wasn’t I there…  Once he passed their test they told him it would be an hour before it was ready.  He and his mom did their grocery shopping and killed the hour it took to fill the prescription.  When Todd went back to the pharmacy to get my meds they couldn’t find them.  The techs looked around a bit.  One of them said something to the pharmacist and he basically said he filled the prescription so finding it was their job – I can understand that to some degree, but still a little on the snarky side.  After the techs looked for 10 minutes the pharmacist finally said “Well, what was it?”  (I guess he was just going to redo the order.)  As soon as the techs told him what it was he got very interested in trying to help – LOL!  What? You mean a serious narcotic pain pill can’t just disappear?  (You know me, I do appreciate my inventory accuracy – for those of you who don’t know I’m a staff accountant that does inventory accounting.)  After they searched for another 15 minutes they found the meds.  Just in the nick of time because my meds from the hospital were wearing off.  I am now fully medicated and feeling fine.

So, that was my day yesterday.  Not too much going on – a lot of sleeping.  I did get to have mac and cheese.  I was so hungry it did not stand a chance!  I’ll update again later with my tale of today.  Stay tuned…

There is no place like home

12/18/2010-Finally got to come home today.  All the excitment has worn me out, but don't worry I have lots of funny stories to tell.  

"O there is no place like home for the Holidays....."

I'm really not that hungry but I could go for a Coke Icee.   Time to get some rest!  Make sure to tune in tomorrow for a double feature.

Emory Day Spa

12/17/10 – Just another day in the hospital.  Not much new happened today.  I slept well and felt a lot better this morning.  For the first time I did not have any nausea in the morning.  I am loving being able to eat real food.  I had some vanilla yogurt and a cheese omelet – it was delicious!

I spoke with my surgeon in the afternoon and he said that I was looking good but it would probably still be best for me to stay one more night.  I was still on my pain IV with the supplemental pump for break through pain.  He and I were concerned about how I would do once I got home.  He decided to take me off the IV and only do the oral pain pills to see if I could hack it at home.  I am now only on an IV to keep me hydrated and give me my blood pressure meds.  I am taking oral pain pills for any discomfort.  So far I am feeling good and am confident that I will be able to go home tomorrow.

I spent a lot of time napping and reading my Kindle today.   It really was a great relaxation day.  A little after noon Bekah called and asked if I would be interested in a pedicure – like that is even a question – sign me up!  She came over around 1:00 and had all the essentials.  She soaked my toes, filed my nails, cleaned my cuticles, and got ready to polish.  I chose between a pretty pink, cancer survivor lavender, and colon cancer sparkly blue.  I chose the sparkly blue.  The actual name of the polish was called “Dorothy Who?” – I love to look at nail polish color names, it always makes me laugh.  They are so much more fun than crayon color names.  My toes look awesome.  She even added some snow flake designs to keep things festive.  I now have my peppermint and Shea butter spa socks on and am feeling fabulous!

Funny parent story of the day… today I am picking my mother-in-law.  So, every day my surgeon comes in to the room and wants to look at my incision and make sure that everything is healing properly.  I have mentioned to all of you how I want NOTHING to do with my incision or even talk about what it looks like.  Well, he comes in and says “ok, Sydney, let’s take a look at your incision today”.  I say “you, can but I am not.”  Mrs. Janet is in the room and quickly stands up and says “well, you may not want to look, but I’m going to.”  I say, “No, Mrs.Janet, you will look at it and you will just start talking about it, which defeats the purpose.”  - I say that I said that because either the universe stopped working and my voice did not travel through that space or she just completely ignored me because she came over there and stood over me as my surgeon inspected the incision. – I wonder if mothers-in-law just have selective hearing that grants them immunity from appearing to over look something you say? – I didn’t really care, but as soon as the surgeon looks at it I say something about the wound seeming stiff today.  Mrs. Janet quickly pipes up and says “Is that because of the staples?”  Aaaah!  STAPLES! I use staples at work.  In papers!  Not in me!  I have often feared accidentally stapling myself and now I know that I have a staple in me.  “Mrs. Janet!  This is why I did not want you to look. I did not want to know this about my body.”  Fortunately I did not pass out, and I’m doing ok with the staple news.  I just can’t think about it a lot.  I have to pardon my mother-in-law this once, but I have to warn anyone who thinks they can talk to me about my staples going forward, you are sorely mistaken.  I will invoke the power of the shrimp kick on anyone who brings up the subject.  Period!

Getting to the serious stuff.  Today I met with the oncologist.  My surgeon had told me yesterday that the pathology came back and the cancer had spread into some of my lymph nodes.  The oncologist broke down what everything really meant for me on personal level.  He said that based on the progress of my cancer outside of the colon wall and the movement into my lymph nodes,  I would be classified as stage 3 colon cancer.  50% of people who have colon cancer can have surgery to fix the problem.  Unfortunately there are no blood tests to determine if I am in that 50% or not, so I will have to have chemo.  Basically what will happen is my surgeon will put in a port under my skin (yep, you read my mind, I am so not thinking about that!) and when I go to the oncologist he will run an IV through the port for about 3 hours and then I will have several rounds of pills to take over a couples weeks or so.  After that is over I will have a few days off and then start all over again.  I will have to do this 8 times.  This should take around 6 months to complete and I should not lose my hair.  After that I will have to go into the oncologist to make sure I am good, but the chemo will take my chances of the cancer not coming back from 50% to around 70%.  The oncologist said that generally if colon cancer is going to come back it returns within 3 years.  After I hit the 3 year mark I will not have to be tested as much, but I will still go in to make sure I am clear.  For those of you who think I missed a real life experience not getting a colonoscopy before my surgery, you will be happy to know that I have been informed that I get to have one, just so I don’t miss out – hahaha ha… sigh….

So, basically I have a long road ahead, but not an impossible road.  The oncologist said that during treatment I should be able to continue a normal life and still be able to work.  I will probably be more tired than normal and not function at 100% - truth be told, I haven’t been functioning at 100% for awhile.  Don’t worry about me.  I’m ok.  I’m going to be ok.  I am loved by lots of people and if the world thinks it’s gonna get rid of me this easy, I have 3 words – not gonna happen!  Smile people, I am.

I have had lots of good food today – cheese omelet, dinner roll, ice cream, chicken noodle soup, pasta with olive oil and parmesan  - yum!  I think, I would still like a cheese burger – I am happy to hear that I have made so many of you crave a good ol’ burger and fries!  I also would like a diet coke.  I haven’t been able to have carbonated drinks for a while and that sounds refreshing.  My song of the day is “If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands, If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands, If you’re happy and you know it, then your face is gonna show it, if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands!” CLAP!