Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Attack of the killer hot dogs!

7/26/11 – “Hot dogs and other processed meat increase the risk of colorectal cancer and should be avoided completely…” http://www.cancerproject.org/media/news/strikeout.php 
What?! Hot dogs can lead to colon cancer?  Get out!  I heart hot dogs.  Love them, always have.  I don’t care what brand they are.  Beef, turkey, chicken, cheese or no cheese I do not discriminate.  A hot dog is a wonderful, yummy thing that should be enjoyed, not feared.  Hot dogs rule baseball games as the meal of choice.  Street vendors in New York sell them on every street corner.  They are the perfect easy meal that satisfies your hunger and your taste buds.
How can such an American delicacy be bad for you?  Inconceivable!  “American Institute for Cancer Research and World Cancer Research Fund ... scientists announced that when it comes to colon cancer, there is absolutely no amount of processed meat that’s safe to eat.”  Holy cow!  No amount? Zero, nada, zilch, zippo?  None?  Sandwich meat? Sausage? Bacon?!  BACON?!?!  Please not the bacon. 
Do all of you know what this means?  It means that my love for bacon and hot dogs might have contributed to my diagnosis.  I’ve been telling Todd the whole time it was caused by all the stress he put on me making me cook and clean on occasion.  He should have done all the household jobs instead of just most of them.  I clearly was a fragile sole and needed to be pampered and spoiled.  Sham.  It was all a sham.  The cancerproject.org people are exposing me for what I am – a fraud and a hot dog addict! 
If I believed in karma and regenerating back into the world after death I would be doomed to come back to earth as a hot dog.  Thank goodness I don’t believe in the whole coming back part because that would really stink.  I bet I would be delicious though.  
I am going to see my GI doctor tomorrow so I will have to ask her if there is any credence to this belief in hot dogs and other processed meats contributing to colon cancer.  I like to give my doctors a laugh so this should be good for a few chuckles and maybe even some serious discussion.  I’ll report back on my findings.
Monday and today have been great work days.  I have been able to work my usual schedule along with lots, lots of breaks.  If I could have anything to eat I would really like a hot dog with bacon on it – why not? – might as well get all the cancer causing agents in one fail swoop.  My  song of the day has been stuck in my head on replay ALL day long – “Oooo E Oooo, I look just like Buddy Holly, Uh O and you’re Mary Tyler Moore…”  “Buddy Holly” by Weezer.
Night y’all!
Check out the Phenix City Get Your Rear in Gear 5K Run/Walk – Diva Dash! 

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