Monday, August 8, 2011

Preparing to Prep

8/8/11 – Well, my oh-so-glamorous colonoscopy is tomorrow.
That’s right people, I’ve been taunted and threatened with a colonoscopy for nearly 9 months and now it has finally caught up with me.  It was only a matter of time. 
Everyone says that the prep is the worst part.  People fail to remember that all I did for 2 weeks in December is prep and a liquid diet.  The prep is easy for me.  Well, maybe…..
My prep is made up of drinking an entire bottle of Magnesium Citrate Sunday night and then drinking 64 ounces of Gatorade with 238 grams of Miralax Monday.  I then have the actual procedure on Tuesday.  All day Monday I am on a liquids only diet.  I’m hoping to lose some weight out of this.
The part that scared me the most was the Magnesium Citrate.  The Magnesium Citrate is what sent me to the ER in December.  I know that I no longer have a tumor in me to cause problems but the whole thing sent me back to that time.  You know how people who drink usually have one drink that they just can’t do?  They overdid it sometime in the past and got horribly sick.  Some people can’t even bare to look at the bottle.  Well, that is how I am with Magnesium Citrate.  It conjures up every bad memory I have from December and brings it to the forefront. 
I told myself I could do it.  I could drink this nasty stuff and get on with it.  It would just be a quick glass of nasty stuff that would be over and done with before I knew it.  I came home from church last night, ate some dinner, and then poured my glass of fear.  My UHC case worker had recommended mixing it with Sprite to cut the taste.  I poured a little Sprite in the glass and then topped it off with lemon/lime Magnesium Citrate.  The first sip I almost spit out.  Magnesium Citrate tastes disgusting and is fizzy on top of that.  It was all I could do to keep it down.  I had asked my doctor if I had to do it and she said yes.  I had to drink it.  I had to drink it all.
The more I looked at the glass the bigger it seemed.  It was like the glass was growing and expanding just by me looking at it with sheer disgust.  How was I going to get through this?  I drank some more and focused on not getting sick.  The more I thought about not getting sick the more sick I became.  No, no, I was not going to do this again.  The Magnesium Citrate made me sick the time before I was not going to let it do that again.  I knew if I became sick then my side would start to hurt and I would wind up in a fetal position begging Todd to drive me to the hospital.  I was not going down that road again.  I wasn’t going to let it get to me. 
Slowly I drank the remainder of the Magnesium Citrate.  I would take a drink, fight off the gagging, and then drink some more.  I have decided one thing after finshing the drink and promptly brushing my teeth.  I have decided that I will NEVER drink Magnesium Citrate ever again.  I know it is on the prep sheet but I will emphatically tell my GI doctor that I flat out refuse to drink that ever again.  They can give me a shot, make me endure having an IV put in, or maybe even pull off one of my finger nails but I will not ever drink that stuff again. 
Today is much better.  No more nasty Magnesium Citrate to drink.  I can handle the Miralax, I practically lived on it for a while.  It’s not that bad.  I am very, very glad that I was allowed to work from home today.  That would have been awkward.  I’m not as scared about tomorrow now that the worst is behind me. 
If I could have anything to eat I would like a turkey sandwich.  I’m on a liquid diet today so real food would be wonderful.  My song of the day is “Peace Like a River” by Elizabeth Mitchell.
Later peeps!
Check out the Phenix City Get Your Rear in Gear 5K Run/Walk – Diva Dash! 

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