Rain Drops Keep Falling on My Head!

Me walking in the rain!

6/13/11 – Hello all.  I know I’ve been very sporadic with my blogging lately but I have been very busy.  This last weekend I went out of town for Ashley’s bachelorette party.

What happened at the bachelorette party is confidential.  What happens in Heighburger stays in Heighburger.  All I can say is that we were supposed to do a painting at Sips N Strokes but the power went out and things went downhill from there (I guess some people might say uphill, it’s all relative).  All in all I had a great time.

This weekend seemed entirely too fast and I am completely worn out.  Todd and I met Ashley in Jason half way and I went home with Ashley and Jason went home with Todd.  Bachelor and Bachelorette parties were on!  We met in Talladega at a Mexican restaurant attached to a motel.  Yup.  A restaurant attached to a motel.  Very sketchy.  There wasn’t much variety on the exit so we decided to chance the restaurant. 

We all ordered.  The restaurant seemed nice and the service was very good.  As we were sitting around talking and scarfing down as many tortilla chips and my mouth could hold, we all felt a nice spray of something wet come over the booth.  We looked around and discovered that we had been sprayed by another customer shaking his Corona.  Did the dude say “Oh, I’m sorry”?  No.  No, he did not.  His wife instead stared at us like we were the ones who just sprayed them.  Now, I have a tendency to let my mouth write checks that Todd fist may have to cash – he has yet to have to back up my smack talking.  Anyway, I managed to say something a little louder than regular conversation about something being rude.  Because, hey, dude was rude!   We received our food and had a lovely dinner.  As Ashley and I left the table to head home we both stared down the mean wife.  I gave my best “I think you’re rude and could totally kick your butt any given Sunday” stare.  Note: If you go to a Mexican restaurant in Talladega and see a lady with a stanky eye face give her the meanest look you can.  I’ve ruled her a bad person and she deserves to be given the “mean face”.

I have started walking in an effort to keep my weight under control.  Eating during chemo week is just hard.  I only feel like eating certain things because the nausea is so bad, so dieting is pretty much out of the question.  I’ve done pretty well being diligent walking each day.  I walked Friday before heading out of town, but I wanted to make sure I kept up the practice Saturday. 

I told Mr. Berle that I wanted to walk.  He planned to go with me.  Saturday morning turned out to be very busy.  Each time I thought I had time to walk I remembered another thing I needed to do for the party that night.  I finally finished everything around 2:30.  Plenty of time to walk 2 miles.  I told Mr. Berle I was ready to walk and he said “it’s about to rain”.  I said “oh, I guess we shouldn’t go”, but Mr. Berle insisted that it didn’t matter to him.  Since rain is so sporadic in the summer I figured it just looked like rain but probably wouldn’t do too much. 

I changed into my walking clothes and headed outside.  As we walked down the driveway it started to sprinkle.  The rain felt good because it cooled down the hot summer day.  The further we walked the harder it rained.  Nothing too bad, no reason to turn around.  I made the comment that it was good that I was wearing black since we were getting rained on.  Mr. Berle quickly replied “yeah, it’s a good thing I have on black too.”  I snapped back a reply – “no one cares that YOU have on black!”  Really, Mr. Berle, really?

We kept walking and it kept sprinkling.  We headed up a hill and the rain started to get harder.  It was beautiful looking over the fields seeing the rain fall while you felt it hit your skin.  I used to love playing in the rain as a child.  The fact that I was walking in the rain made me feel nostalgic and realize that sometimes you have a perfect moment in life – something that is special that you know you’ll never forget.  Walking in the rain, laughing, enjoying the feel of the rain on my skin, the smell of the rain as it hit the pavement and grass, along with the beauty of the fields will always be something I keep with me – perfect moment.  Kinda like that song I love – “Blink” by Revive – where it says “Teach me to number my days, count every moment before it slips away…”

After making it up the hill the rain started to get heavier but we pushed on.  We headed up and down one more hill.  At the bottom of the second hill I decided that we should probably turn around.  As we turned around I realized that we would now be walking into the rain.  The rain did not slack up and we pushed through.  It wasn’t horribly heavy, not too much to walk in, but not a sprinkle.  It was fun walking home.  I got completely drenched!  It was great.  We made it home and I poked my head into the room Mrs. Janet was sewing in and she and Aunt Jane burst out laughing.  I looked like a drowned rat.  But, a happy drowned rat.

Sunday we swapped Jason and myself again.  I have been really worn out because the weekend seemed so fast and there wasn’t much time to relax.  I am glad that I had such a good time.  It always helps to go into chemo week knowing that you’ve had a great “up” week.  I’m not looking forward to tomorrow.  I know I only have 3 left but I know they will not be easy.  Chemo has become much harder.  I guess that is why I have mixed feelings about only having 3 left.  Yes, I only have 3, but I still have 3 – see what I’m sayin’?  Eeehh (shrug) Power through – I’ve got this!

If I could have anything to eat I would like some strawberries and a large glass of water – I’m thirsty.  My song of the day is Need to Breathe’s “Washed by the Water”.  Perfect song.

http://grooveshark.com/s/Washed+By+The+Water/oNDme?src=5

Night y’all.  Stay real.

Turn my cupcake makin' on!

If you count it won't equal 70 cupcakes - let's say the difference "fell" off the counter!

6/9/11 – Raise your hand if you were an unsafe driver today.  Yep, my hand is in the air.  Just because it is called “fast food” does not mean that it is portable food.  I’m using the term “portable” loosely.  Portable meaning how easily the food is able to move from bag to mouth.  After I left work today I decided that I couldn’t wait until I got home to eat.  I was hungry.  I ran by Chick-fil-A and picked up a cool wrap.  Of course the cool wrap comes with ranch dressing to dip the wrap in.  I unwrapped my cool wrap and squirted some ranch into the plastic container that the wrap came in.  That’s right, you read correctly.  I fully intended and actually did drive and dip my cool wrap into ranch dressing, not to mention the fact that cool wraps sound like a contained food but they aren’t.  The cool wraps are so packed they burst out of the wraps half way through eating.

So there I was driving up 85N eating my delicious cool wrap and dipping it into my side of ranch.  What was I thinking?  I like to pride myself on my safe-ish driving.  Yes, I do drive fast but I break early and I try to leave a good amount of space between myself and other drivers at stop lights – actual road driving doesn’t count.  85N cars speeding by and I dip, watch the road, and then bite.  I thought I did ok, but half way through my wrap, after my hunger finally started to die down, I realized that this probably wasn’t my brightest idea.  * No drivers were harmed during the consumption of my Chick-fil-A cool wrap. *

I’ve been very busy these last two days working and preparing for this weekend – bachelorette party.  I visited my friend (super Sherry) who was in the hospital.  Fortunately I arrived as the doctor was telling her she was cleared to go home later in the day.  Yesterday I picked up our new furniture.  I was cleared by Todd to leave with all the furniture set up in his hands and go to Yogli Mogli to have some girl time with one of my other friends who is another fellow cancer fighter.  As I left Yogli Mogli I received a text from Todd that simply said “not in a good mood”.  That is never anything that anyone wants to go home to, an upset spouse.  I called to see if I could do any damage control.  Todd was just upset because our new coffee table and one of the side tables was defective and the customer service lady told him that it was probably distressing that was supposed to be there – I can tell you this is not furniture that has “distressing” of any kind.  What a retard.  Todd was more worried that I would be upset.  Yes, I wanted the furniture together, but I can wait. 

Tonight has been cupcake wars at the Bamberg house.  I am charged with making the groom’s cake for Ashley and Jason’s wedding and Todd has a bake sale at work tomorrow.  I took a cake decorating class a few years back with Tara and Sara so I have all the tools to make a cake.  Whether I have the guts to make a grooms cake is yet to be determined.  Think about it – there’s going to be a wedding cake.  A wedding cake is made by a professional - someone that all he or she does is make cakes.  My cake is going to be in the same room as the wedding cake, that’s pressure.  My cake needs to at least be a B- to the wedding cake’s A+.  The one weapon I have in my arsenal is that the groom’s cake is going to be chocolate and everyone loves chocolate and my cupcakes are the epitome of the term “I wanna get chocolate wasted!”  So, the groom’s cake is not going to be made by an actual professional but instead will be made by an accountant that took a class at Hobby Lobby; but, hey, accountants are professionals too.

The cupcakes were to test whether the cake I’m going to make for the groom’s cake is actually a good cake or not.  I figured all else fails Betty Crocker makes a great devils food.  Todd was my “cupcake slave” – basically he did everything I told him to (I love when that happens).  Together Todd and I baked 70 cupcakes.  70!  Todd has a bake sale tomorrow so I doubled the recipe.  For the first time I realized what people at DC Cupcakes must feel like.  Stressed.  I’m not sure if my cupcakes are of the same caliber as theirs but I could definitely give the local cupcake store a run for their money.  I’m currently considering names for my cupcake boutique.  I’ve ruled out Cancer Cakes because that’s simply awkward.  I do like Sugar Hill Cupcakes (slightly boring).  Then there’s Sugar Shea (but I’m afraid that sounds like a stripper name).  I think Sugar Hill Cupcakes might be the best bet.

The cupcakes are delicious.  I just hope Jason likes them, otherwise I’m looking for a different recipe.  Since I made 70 cupcakes I needed a carrier.  I borrowed Kristina’s cupcake pans and carrier (holds 24 cupcakes).  I still needed more.  I sent Todd to Super Kroger hoping they would have a carrier.  Nope.  He then went to Wal-Mart to look for a carrier and found one that holds 12.  He drove all over looking for a cupcake holder and I was at home icing 70 cupcakes.  I think I have carpal tunnel from all the icing.  I am so tired and glad that the cupcake making is over.  Tired.

Random comment.  I generally shower in the guest bathroom.  No real reason other than it’s easier to shave your legs in there.  Anyway….  I showered in mine and Todd’s bathroom today and only had his body gel to shower with.  Todd has Old Spice Swagger.  Yep.  I smelled like a man, but I smelled like a good smelling man.  I stepped out of the shower singing “hopped out of bed, turn my swag on, took a look in the mirror said what’s up?” (Don’t judge me.)  So my song of the day is Soulja Boy’s “Turn My Swag On”.  If I could have anything to eat I would like…. chips….?  I’m not really hungry, the cupcakes wore me out.

http://grooveshark.com/s/Turn+My+Swag+On/1LUwHA?src=5

Night y’all!

I would like my happy bubble, please.

6/7/11 – Why, yes, I am standing on my soap box again.  I can’t help it.  It’s pretty and smells nice.  I have probably bored all of you to death talking about how tanning beds are bad news, but it is really something that is sensitive for me.  I’m going through chemo.  I know what chemo feels like.  I don’t want anyone to ever have to willingly experience that.  Todd shared this YouTube link with me last night.  It really says a lot.  It’s only 5 minutes, give it a shot, at the least you can watch it and decide that you don’t agree.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4jgUcxMezM

I left off my blog with all that I did Saturday.  To be honest I haven’t done too much in between.  Sunday, Todd and I went and purchased the furniture that I picked out Saturday.  We made a run to IKEA for the awesome “IKEA chairs”.  Todd purchased one little “U” shaped chair at IKEA that he has termed his “pimp chair”.  I’m not sure why he calls it that, it is obvious that he or no one he knows is actually a pimp. 

Monday was just a usual after chemo Monday.  Tiring.  I’m always very tired after the chemo week.  It eventually tapers off as the week goes on.  I’m feeling slightly better.

As I’m typing this Todd and I are sitting in the Man Cave.  Todd’s Man Cave is basically a large TV and speakers.  Speakers are everywhere.  What is it with guys and speaker systems?  I don’t get it.  Todd started watching basketball and I made him change because all the tennis shoe squeeking and whistles were blaring out of the speaker to my left.  Can’t handle it.  He then chose women’s softball and all the cheering fans were in my ear.  I cannot watch sports while typing my blog.  All the screaming fans are annoying.  Todd thought this was humorous.  He then started playing PlayStation and I then had gun fire and bombs exploding in my ear – FYI gun fire and bombs are loud, louder than screaming fans and squeaky tennis shoes.  I can’t escape it!  It only gets louder.  If this blog stinks I blame the speakers.  Hopefully it gives you a little chuckle. 

On to today.  Today started out a little wobbly.  My legs have become weak through all the chemo sessions.  As I rolled out of bed this morning I had to steady myself on the bedpost but quickly regained balance.  (Remember chemo brain – real thing people – affects your motor skills.) After I showered and put on some makeup I started to feel better.  I headed off to work.  I was excited to see everyone and feel normal for a few hours.  I became increasingly tired as the day wore on and headed home to work around 2:00.  This is where my day goes downhill.  After leaving work I found out that someone I knew and see on an almost daily basis had passed away suddenly.  I made it home and tried to process just what that meant.  It brought up a lot of emotions.  I go through a rollercoaster of emotions during chemo week and after and the passing of someone I knew brought all of those to the surface along with memories of my friend and fellow cancer fighter who passed away earlier this year.  These last two years haven’t been easy.  I’m ready for easy.  A few hours later I learned that one of my close friends who is another cancer fighter had gone back into the hospital.  I’m not going to lie to you and pretend to be tough.  I hide a lot.  I don’t like to feel vulnerable and never want people to feel sorry for me – I don’t feel sorry for myself – but this, this is hard. 

This is a lot.  I feel heavy – not fat heavy, but weighted down.  I know all of this is not my burden to carry but it’s hard not to want to pick up the tough stuff and hang on to it for some reason.  Maybe that’s just something we do as human beings?  Hang on to hard stuff and neglect to appreciate the good?  I wrote on my facebook page that I wanted to crawl back into my bubble which is fuzzy and comfortable.  That is what I would like to do – escape.  But, I have to remember the good.  I have to remember that I am a cancer survivor, I have wonderful family and friends, my flowers are blooming in front of my house, I just got new carpet, I am financially stable, I have a car that works, a roof over my head, and joy in my heart.  There is a saying – “God is good.” – and the response is – “All the time”.  If I give into the weight of the world then I am denying that truth.  Yes, things are hard and do not make sense, but God is still good – we are not promised happiness, but we are promised joy.  I’m reaching for my joy because that’s all I’ve got to cling to some days.

I know this blog hasn’t been snarky or all that funny, but I needed to get all of this out.  Thanks for putting up with me and taking the time to read.  If I could have anything to eat I would like a homemade piece of cheesecake or a watermelon – I can’t decide.  My song of the day is rather cliché, but it’s “Jesus Take the Wheel” by Carrie Underwood.

http://grooveshark.com/s/Jesus+Take+The+Wheel/hPJwc?src=5

Tomorrow is another day.  Focus on the good stuff.  Night y’all!

                                                                                                                               

Bidding You Carpet Dreams and Shoe Wishes

6/4/11 – Today is the day.  Today is the day that the carpet goes in.

You would think my house had been struck by one of the recent tornados.  Pillows, clothes, furniture, and dog beds are crammed in every nook and cranny that will not be receiving new carpet.  Todd is about to have a heart attack and his parents are trying to keep his sanity in check.  Where am I?  Oh, I’m sitting on the gazebo listening to the birds, drinking my coffee and eating a donut. 

I learned a while back that you can worry about just about anything.  I was one of those people; however, there are only a few things in life that really deserve to be worried about.  Yes, my house looks terrible, but I’m getting new carpet.  That’s something to be excited about.  All the rest will fall into place once the new floor is down.

Sitting outside in the morning is really a beautiful time for self-reflection.  I’m not sure what the self-reflection has taught me other than I like glazed donuts dipped in my coffee.  That makes me happy.  The birds are really loud in the morning and the subdivision sounds so much more peaceful before kids wake up.  Hunh. 

I guess I better go get ready before my house is taken over by the guys laying the carpet.  I want to give Todd a wide berth too so I don’t disturb the balance of the universe and make something go horribly wrong.

I am writing this part 2 days after the first piece of this blog.  I can tell you now that things do not always go as planned.  It is a good thing that Mrs. Janet and I planned our escape from the house ahead of time.  We went and had our nails done and then went furniture shopping.  I wanted to be prepared for furniture once the carpet was done.

The carpet crew was supposed to show up at 10:00.  Mrs. Janet and I left at 9:30.  10:15 I receive a text from Todd – “No one here”.  10:45 I receive another text – “still not here”.  11:15 Mrs. Janet and I leave the nail salon and still no one is at the house.  Todd sends me a text of Mr. Berle sleeping on the couch waiting for the crew to show up.  Todd finally calls the store and the manager can’t believe that the crew hasn’t shown up and sounded just as frustrated as Todd.  He promises to get a second crew out as soon as he can.

Mrs. Janet and I visit 3 furniture stores with a stop at JoAnn’s in between.  I never knew that sitting and standing back up so many times was so tiring.  Todd sends me a text at 1:00 that the second carpet crew is finally at the house.  Go time!  Mrs. Janet and I still have lots to do.  We run by DSW and exchange Todd’s shoes for a different size.

Now this story is hilarious.  We run into DSW tired and worn out from furniture shopping but invigorated by the prospect of shoes.  Once again I had zero intention of purchasing shoes for myself.  Notice I said “intention”.  I had to browse the clearance section – it’s the law.  I found a pair of yellow wedges that looked kind of retro that were totally cute.  They just so happened to be 75% off.  You never turn 75% away – as long as it’s for something cute.  I don’t have a pair of yellow shoes so I decided they had to be mine.  They wound up being only $12 and will totally look cute with a bathing suit.  (Yes, I’m one of those girls that likes to dress up for my bathing suit.  What can I say?  I’m born to live in Ft. Lauderdale.) 

In case you’re wondering the funny part hasn’t happened yet.  After I made my awesome shoe find I went looking for Mrs. Janet.  I found her on a sandal isle surrounded by shoe boxes.  Imagine your own mother-in-law in DSW sitting on the little stool to try on shoes surrounded by boxes and boxes of shoes.  She had one pair of sandals on her foot and one Sketchers Shapeup on.  The sandals were adorable.  She picked up each box and showed me all the different shoes she was trying to choose from.  This is where I run into a problem.  I love shoes.  I quite often cannot choose and I will buy shoes solely because I have a coupon and not because I need shoes.  I believe that when it comes to shoes you always need them, if not, you haven’t thought hard enough yet.  There is always a reason to buy shoes.  She had picked out some really cute ones but I knew she needed something with good foot support.  I promised to go look for cute, supportive shoes as she wandered around the store with one sandal and one tennis shoe.  It is important to note that her pile of shoes and other tennis shoe are left abandoned on the sandal isle.  Watching someone you don’t know wander around gimping from the difference in shoes is funny, but watching your mother-in-law is sobering and straight out hilarious.  You gotta love her tenacity.  I located some cute sandals that might not bother her feet and she tried them on.  She decided that she liked the ones I picked and then said “I gotta find my tennis shoe”.  Haha!  It just made me laugh.  She looked in two isles before she found the abandoned boxes and shoe partner.  She slipped on her matching shoe and we proceeded to find where all the boxes belonged.  At last we checked out and reveled in our superior shoe purchasing.  Shoe shopping will never be the same for me.

After shoe shopping we headed home with a stop in at Kroger.  The carpet crew was just finishing up when we arrived.  It had been a long day of shopping and looking at potential furniture for us and hard work for the guys.  Todd and Mr. Berle were already working to set the bedroom furniture up.  They seemed completely worn out.  The carpet looks AWESOME!  I’ve wanted new carpet since we bought the house and finally I have it.  The Man Cave is finished and is actually a functioning room.  I couldn’t be happier.  I am completely worn out though.  I’m ready for everything to finally be finished and my house to be professionally cleaned.  Then and only then can I relax.

Saturday I started to feel better.  I was actually able to drive on our excursion.  I have had to continue to take my Ativan at night because my mind won’t stop thinking of how to decorate the house.  I’m still tired and a little weak, but much better.  If I could have anything to eat I would like a Rita’s Italian Ice.  I have a serious sweet tooth kicking in.  My song for Saturday would have to be “Crazy Train” by Ozzy Osbourne.  Yup!  Crazy day!

http://grooveshark.com/s/Crazy+Train/2EU0mH?src=5

Night y’all!

Busy day, but I didn't pass out!

6/3/11 – Happy Friday all!  I hope everyone is off work and on to having a fun filled weekend.

I didn’t blog yesterday because I honestly didn’t feel like it.  I didn’t really feel like anything.  Thursdays are notorious for being the suckiest day of the week and yesterday did not fall short.  Mr. Berle came over early to help Todd and I prepare for the carpet that we have going in tomorrow.  Since he hasn’t taken me to chemo yet I got him to ride with me to have my port deaccessed. 

The nausea is always on hyper alert on Thursdays.  There is really nothing that I can do to make it go away.  All food tastes gross and according to Mrs. Janet I lose all color in my face – I’m not sure about the color part, that’s just what she told me.  So Mr. Berle and I scooted up to Gainesville to have my port deaccessed.  I had never asked before but I got one of the chemo nurses to give me some extra nausea meds through my port before having it deaccessed, now that was the power move.  It made me feel a little better.  I slept most of the day yesterday.  

Today I woke up and felt slightly better.  We had decided to try to have lunch with Todd.  I mustered up all my energy and we headed to Dog Days which specializes in hot dogs.  Todd and Mrs. Janet got a ruben dog, Mr. Berle got a Chicago dog, and I got a sour cream, guacamole, and bacon dog.  I know it sounds weird but it was delicious.  As we sat down to eat I suddenly felt something wet on my right arm.  Mr. Berle had squirted me with a pepper!  I had no clue.  It happened so fast.  The hot dogs were good and the fries were fresh.  I recommend Dog Days to anyone who likes a good hot dog and nice atmosphere.

After lunch we dropped Todd off at work.  I’ve never wanted him to not go back to work more than I did today.  I’m in a very needy mood lately.  Mr. Berle and Mrs. Janet and I headed to the Forum to try to find a top that I got the other day at the Loft for Mrs. Janet.  We stopped in the Loft (no luck), Bath and Body Works (boy can Mrs. Janet shop, she’s a professional), Old Navy (nothing great), and then Claire’s.  I’ve been talking about getting a tattoo, though my sister doesn’t approve.  I did decide to get my ears pierced and get a second hole.  Mark gave me a pair of sapphires for Christmas and there are times when I would like to wear other earrings but I want to wear my sapphires for sentimental reasons (colon cancer color) so I decided to get the second hole to always have the blue with me. 

I’m not gonna lie, when we walked into Claire’s I was tired and did feel a little funny.  I seriously wondered if I would pass out.  What would happen if I passed out in public?  That would be so embarrassing.  The lady put the dots on my ears and I checked to make sure it was lined up properly.  All I could think was that there was a high chance I would pass out sitting in a high chair holding a black teddy bear in Claire’s.  I am happy to report that I did not pass out.  After I’ve been stuck so many times that was nothing.

The guys have been busy preparing for the carpet.  Our house looks like a hurricane hit.  I’m sleeping on a mattress and box springs.  They also put up a gazebo in our backyard.  I’m currently sitting under the gazebo avoiding all responsibility, drinking sangria, listening to Jimmy Buffett, writing my blog.  The only way this could be better would be if I were on the beach and didn’t feel sick.  You win some, you lose some.

Well, I’m going to continue to relax and get to feeling better.  I’m in the mood for some good grilled chicken with Twix and Tween sauce wrapped in bacon for dinner.  My song of the day is “Take it Easy” by The Eagles.

http://grooveshark.com/s/Take+It+Easy/2J3p6G?src=5

Night y’all!

Lessons Learned

Me at chemo.  Can you see the IV line?

6/1/11 – Blog, blog, blog… I am rockin’ it out.  I am determined to include everything and catch up on all the blogs I’ve missed.  One more to go.

Tuesday was chemo day.  My 8^th treatment out of 12.  Once I survive this week I only have 3 treatments left to endure. 

Mrs. Janet is with me this week.  She is my chemo ride, personal chef, companion, shopping partner, and house cleaner.  Something interesting always happens when Mrs. Janet is in town.  I am on hyper alert for bloggable moments so stay tuned…

I created my own bloggable moment yesterday.  I have numbing cream that I put on my port area 30 minutes before going into the office.  I put a little dollop on the area and then cover it with saran wrap and tape it down. Classy.  It makes me feel like food being wrapped up for later use.  I was running late yesterday morning and did not have time to get the saran wrap prepared.  I had asked before what would happen if I forgot to wear it and they said it would just stick with the port is accessed.  I went back to have my port accessed and my blood drawn and I told the nurse what I had done.  She asked if I wanted some spray for the area.  I responded “No, I can handle it.  Let’s do this”  Oh my goodness.  Yes, there was an initial stick but it kind of hung out for a while.  Not what I was expecting.  I thought it would just be a stick and would be over with but it stung a little.  Kind of like getting stung by a yellow jacket or a bee.  You can pull out the stinger but you still feel a little uncomfortable from the sting.  Lesson learned.  I will be late for my appointment and wear my numbing cream going forward. 

We made it through my doctor appointment without any incidents.  No embarrassing questions for my doctor.  I asked her about that once we got into the infusion room and she said that I asked all the questions so she didn’t have any others to ask.  I thought that was kind of funny because if I hadn’t done my job as a patient she was there to take over for me.  Ever vigilant.

We settled into our chairs for chemo.  Last time I made the mistake and took over the remote.  I picked out Bravo with The Real Housewives of Orange County marathon.  It was question after question after question – “Is that her husband?” “Are those real?”  I decided to put the power in her hands this time and promptly handed the remote over.  She flipped through all the channels and settled on the news coverage of the Casey Anthony trial.  I’ve read a lot about the search and the lead up the trial on CNN.  I read my book but watched the trial a little too. 

I thought since I had relinquished control of the remote I might be free from questions.  At one point I was really into my book and wasn’t paying any attention to the TV at all.  Out of the random noise in the room I hear Mrs. Janet talking to me telling me facts about the trial.  I was obviously not watching TV.  I hadn’t asked any questions.  Just out of the blue I get random facts told to me.  I find this interesting.  Though I gave her complete control of the TV and what show to watch she doesn’t ask me question but instead tells me facts.  I believe Mrs. Janet just has to talk to someone while watching TV.  Point noted.  I prefer the facts to constant questions that I don’t always know the answer to.

Chemo was shorter yesterday.  When I receive chemo I first get a bag and push of anti-nausea meds.  Then I get a bag of magnesium and calcium.  After the mag and cal I start my oxaliplatin (one of my main chemo drugs).  Once I am finished with the real chemo I get more magnesium and calcium.  Then I get my push of 5FU and am given my pump of the 5FU that I go home with and have for 2 days.  My chemo nurse said that it was going to be a shorter chemo day for me because there is a national backorder of the magnesium and calcium.  I don’t like the magnesium and calcium because it makes me very tired but there has to be a reason why they give it to me right?  I asked what the magnesium and calcium do and why I received it normally during chemo.  The nurse explained that some research has shown that magnesium and calcium help with numbness in the hands and extremities. 

Do y’all remember how I mentioned that the week after chemo I normally have numbness in my hands and tongue at times.  It’s not painful, just weird.  I have never experienced that during chemo week.  The nurse said she would be interested to see how my side effects might change because of the lack of the drug.  She recommended I take B6 to try to help if I had any problems.  Last night as I was sacked out of the couch I looked at my hands and realized they were numb.  The numbness is kicking in much quicker.  I wonder what it will be like next week?  People who manufacture magnesium and calcium please kick up your production.  I would like my IV the next time I get chemo.

After chemo Mrs. Janet and I had lunch at Arby’s.  I like the Arby’s chicken salad because it has apples, grapes, and pecans in it.  We had already decided we would try to go by Charming Charlie to see if we could find Mrs. Janet some earrings for her wedding outfit.  We planned to see how I felt and head home if I got too tired.  I had some lunch in me and too an anti-nausea pill before we walked into the mall.  The outfit I was wearing showed off my accessed port.  I was interested to see if anyone would say anything to me about it.  We looked all around Charming Charlie and found Mrs. Janet some earrings and a bracelet to match.  I found a head to wear with my wedding outfit too. 

Pop quiz: What store is diagonally across from Charming Charlie and had a 50% off all sales items yesterday?  If you answered the Loft you would be correct.  We strolled over to the Loft and I found 2 tops that were cute and were very cheap with the 50% discount.  One of the tops I had been watching for a while and had originally been $80.  I got it for $15 – score!  Have y’all noticed that I shop a lot with Mrs. Janet?  The shopping lifted my spirits some and made the pain go away for a while.  I noticed that all of the people who checked me out in the stores looked at my port but no one said anything to me.  I would not have been able to have that much restraint.  I would be the person to say “what’s that?”

We went home and I crashed.  Last night was hard.  I didn’t feel well.  I know this is the same old story told over and over again.  I feel worse.  The effects of the chemo are building.  Yes, I only have 4 treatments but they are 4 hard treatments.  As I lay in bed by myself I started to think about how I felt.  I felt weak, I felt sick, I felt defeated.  I took a moment to feel bad for myself and then reminded myself that I’m strong. 

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

That’s really it.  Today I have hung out around the house.  Popped my anti-nausea meds like they are candy.  Watched TV and slept plenty.  I’m and weak and I am tired, but I am strong.  It’s about time for my Wednesday bath soak.  Don’t worry about me, I’m fine.

I’m still not hungry.  I need to pop a piece of gum – did y’all happen to know that I’m a gum junky?  When I was working every day I had a pack a day habit.  My song of the day is “You Never Let Go” by Matt Redman.  I love this song.  I love to sing “Oh No! You never let go!”

http://grooveshark.com/#/search?q=matt%20redman

Tomorrow is another day – unfortunately that day has to be Thursday, better than nothing I guess.  Night y’all!

The Bamberg Wallet Effect

Memorial Day Fireworks!

6/1/11 – I cannot believe that it is the first of June already.

I enjoyed my Memorial Day by sleeping in and relaxing from a long weekend.  Mrs. Janet had a pillow that she brought with her on the trip that is one of those pillows that stabilizes your neck better than a regular pillow.  We decided that Monday she and I would wake up and go to Ross to look for pillows, then go to DSW to use a $10 gift card I had that was expiring, then on to Costco to get a member ship and Kroger to pick up some groceries.

We took our time that morning.  We left Todd at home working on clearing out the bedrooms for carpet and painting trim.  We hit Ross and I don’t think things will ever be the same.  We racked up.  I have been looking for a dog bed that zips out and is able to be washed (that’s what I planned to get at Costco).  I found the perfect one at Ross for $18 – score!  Percy has needed new dog bowls.  He currently was drinking out of a dip dish and a regular bowl for water.  Stella shares Percy’s water and they needed a bigger bowl.  I found a set of two bowls for $3.99 – yet another score!  I checked out the pillows and found two memory foam pillows to support our necks.  Of course I couldn’t go into Ross and not look at dresses.  That would be a crime.  I found myself a cute black sundress with a zipper down the front.  Kind of different but really cute. 

We looked like we bought the store with all of my stuff and Mrs. Janet’s door mat, shirts, pjs, cute kids shoes, and coffee all crammed into one small cart.  We had a ton of stuff and made out like bandits.

After Ross we headed to DSW – also known as shoe paradise.  I had a coupon for $10 that was expiring that day.  I consider it a crime against shoes to not use a free coupon.  If you can believe it I actually went to DSW and did not buy myself something.  Really.  Todd needed a new pair of tennis shoes so I got him some shoes instead of myself.  They were actually cute shoes so it didn’t hurt my feelings too much.  Just because I didn’t buy shoes doesn’t mean that I didn’t look.  All the shoes I want are too expensive to talk myself into at the present moment.

Once we left DSW we rolled by Costco.  It was obvious that they were closed.  No cars in the parking lot at all.  Good for them.  We headed to Kroger to pick up some groceries.  We tried to get healthy groceries to get back on our diets.  We got just enough to make us through the week and have some good meals.  We checked out and headed to the car.  Once we packed everything in the car Mrs. Janet said “Where’s my pocket book?”  She had just had her pocket book when we checked out in Kroger. 

This may seem like not that big of a deal.  So she left her pocket book inside and can just go pick it up before we leave.  The thing you don’t know is that Todd has left his wallet at Home Depot not once but twice.  Twice.  I’m not sure what it is about Home Depot that wants to claim his wallet – I’m sure they already have all our money.  So it’s not just Todd.  His mother left her purse in Kroger.  She walked in and picked up the purse from customer service.  When she got back I decided that she had been yet another victim of the Bamberg wallet effect.  The Bamberg wallet effect seems to only affect Bambergs and it is when a store decides to claim their wallets.  No reason is necessary.   Since I’m around both of them this week I am keeping my wallet close in case the Bamberg wallet effect is able to transfer to me through marriage.

Monday night we went to the Gwinnet Braves game.  We hung out with friends, talked a lot, and I had my mandatory pretzel.  I enjoy going to the Gwinnet Braves because it is close to home.  Traffic getting to and from the game isn’t terrible and the prices aren’t horrible, though they do think their concessions are being sold at the real Braves stadium.  After the game there were fireworks to celebrate Memorial Day.  I love fireworks.  There is something about fireworks that just makes me feel like a kid again.  I think I’m going to have that feeling all my life.  I love the colors, the moving explosions, and the crackles.  I just love it all.  My favorite ones are the ones that are sold gold and fizz a little as they stream down the sky and just hang out for a little longer than the others. 

That was really it for my Monday.  If I could have anything to eat right now I would just like some gum.  Not really hungry.  My song for Monday would probably have to be Katy Perry’s “Firework”.  I know this is a repeat but it is appropriate.

http://grooveshark.com/s/Firework/35vcVf?src=5

Later!