1/30/11 – Hello everyone. How am I doing? Hmm… How am I doing? Well, you see, that’s a tough one. Something so simple should be simple to answer but sometimes it’s the simplest things that are the hardest to answer. I’ve been asked that question a lot today. The answer is twofold. Me, health wise? I’m good. I’m not feeling all that bad today. Me, as a person? It’s been a hard day emotionally. I’ve cried a lot. I’ve cried because I’m sad. I’ve cried because I know I won’t see someone I love again on earth. I’ve cried for the sheer fact that I knew other people were hurting and it hurt me too. To be honest, I’m crying right now.
I know where my neighbor/fellow cancer fighter/close friend is. He’s in heaven. He’s healed. It’s hard being the ones left behind sometimes because we love and miss them so much. I smile when I think about where he is now. Smiling is good.
Today was hard. The ceremony was beautiful and his wife showed unearthly strength as she spoke to everyone about the person her husband was. He meant so much to so many of us. The songs seemed to be one of the hardest things. I think they give us a pure and direct connection to God and His glory.
After the ceremony and gravesite we all went back to the church and had a meal. It was nice to hang out and spend some time with others who had just been through the same thing. The meal was lovely. At one point during the meal I looked over and one of our friends was holding out her pill box and Todd was picking something out. What’s going on here?! We’re in church. Todd had a headache and was getting some medicine. It just seemed really funny at the time. I try to find the humor even in tough times
There really wasn’t much to my day but I feel like I’ve run a marathon. I am completely wiped out. I fully intend to fall asleep in the very near future. I’m not really hungry but I am thirsty. I’m just going to drink some water tonight. My song of the day is Chris Tomlin’s “I Will Rise”. “I can say it is well… no more sorrow, no more pain,…”
I know this isn’t “goodbye” it’s just “see ya later” though it sometimes feels like “goodbye”. Kenton I love you man! You fought the fight and finished the race. We should have known you would come in first.
Hey kiddo did anyone tell you that you are a jewel:) of course they have I just did:)God is smiling because one of His children is sharing His love with others.I just wanted to share a quote with that Uncle Butch use to tell some of my family when things got a little tuff while he was going through chemo.He would say "I`m a winner if I stay or if I go"of course they did`nt understand because they don`t have a relationship with the King of kings,but I`m keep praying soon they will.Anyway Shea we love you and Todd and we are praying for strenght and comfort for you and your other friends during this time of the loss of your friend.Because he is a winner:)Love you
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