Hello Goodbye

Me and my 5FU pump!

1/26/11 – Hey y’all.  Today has seemed like several days rolled into one.  Long day.  My neighbor/fellow cancer fighter/close friend went home to be with the Lord today.  God does answer prayers but sometimes it’s difficult to remember that his answer is not always our answer.  We get angry and frustrated with the situation.  It’s hard to understand because sometimes things just don’t make sense and they may be things that we just don’t want to understand, but one thing remains constant – God is sovereign.  Right now we talk about things, eat, breathe, do life.  Some day in the future maybe I’ll start to actually process all of this.  Right now it seems so unreal, like a bad dream that I will wake up from at any moment.  He was my age.  Things like this aren’t supposed to happen. 

My day started out with a headache and a little nausea – No, I’m 100% certain I’m not pregnant.   I rolled out of bed, strapped on my messenger bag, and took some medicine.  The medicine worked quickly.  I am feeling a lot better now. 

I thought I might take you through a day in the life of a person with a chemo pump.  I thought the pump would be a horrible inconvenience but it’s really not that bad.  Now that I am fanny pack free I am much happier.  I have to remember to take the messenger bag with me everywhere.  I go to get something to drink – take my bag, I go to the bathroom – take my bag, when I sleep it is on the night stand, when I shower it is outside the shower, it goes with me everywhere.  I was afraid I would wake up this morning with my line wrapped all around me, fortunately that did not happen.  Todd and I did have to switch sides of the bed since my port is on my left side.  I forgot about it when I was changing and went to grab another shirt.  Oops!  My line doesn’t reach that far.  I just imagine a cartoon figure walking off quickly and then being jerked back like a bungee line.  It wasn’t quite that traumatic.  The pump isn’t that bad.  The medicine in the pump is a stronger form of chemo that I get over a longer period of time, that’s why it takes 46 hours.  As I mentioned yesterday I have started to feel the cold sensitivity.  It is so weird to put something that I know is luke warm in my mouth and it feel cool – very weird.  My left pinky finger started to feel a little tingly and cool this morning but it only lasted for a few minutes.  When I stood in front of the fridge this morning I felt like I was in Antarctica! So cold!  As I mentioned, I’ve had a headache and a little nausea but nothing horrible yet.  I have noticed that I do have some extreme smell sensitivity.  I can’t figure out what it is that I keep smelling in the house.  It smells like saline.   I don’t like it one bit.  I am happy to report that I have not tripped today – so far that is.  I’m wearing flats today – not that I blamed my shoes yesterday (you never blame the shoes). 

I don’t think I have ever explained all the things that happen with chemo.  As you know I go in every two weeks and get Oxaliplatin, which is my chemo drip in the office, I am then sent home with my pump of Flurorouracil/5FU, which is my 46 hour chemo.  After the 46 hours I go in and get the pump removed and my port de-accessed.  Repeat every two weeks.  Each time I go in for treatment they check my blood to make sure my red blood count, white blood count, and platelets are in the right range.  If they are too low I will not be able to get chemo.  10 – 14 days after chemo I will probably experience bone marrow suppression.  That is where you have low blood count and can run a fever.  Some of the side effects of chemo are:

-          Bone marrow suppression = not to that point yet, thank God.

-          Fatigue = check!

-          Nausea/Vomiting = check!

-          Loss of appetite = just a little.

-          Taste/Smell change = smell change, yep!

-          Mucositis (mouth sores) = Eww!  No.

-          Hair loss = none as of yet.

-          Skin changes (redness or darkening along with nail discoloration) = none as of yet.

-          Numbness = just a few seconds of numbness in my left pinky finger this morning.

-          Eye changes = I don’t think my eyes have been the same since the cruise but no new changes since starting chemo.

-          Emotional changes = you decide.  I think I’m doing ok.

Now I have moved on to another hospital for a happier reason.  I think we all need a little happy right now.  Sara and AnDrew are having their baby girly!  Kyleigh Grace Eller was born today.  She is absolutely beautiful.  Sara had her dressed so cute with a big bow on her head.  I don’t think I have seen a new born as alert as she was.  Mother and baby look great and are doing well.

After a long day I made it home finally.  Todd and I had hotdogs and slaw again.  Just what the doctor ordered.  I would love some pizza some time soon.  My song of the day is Chris Doughtery’s “I’m Going Home”. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnwdxN4iOUw

Tomorrow is another day.  Night y’all.