"All I want to do-o-o-o-o"

Smiling helps brighten any day

1/14/11 – Hello all.  I’m writing because I know that many of you have been praying for me and know that today was going to be a big day.  Today did not go as planned.

Yesterday when I got home from having the port installed I had a voicemail from the oncologist’s office asking me to “call them before I come into my appointment”.  I tried to call yesterday but the office was already closed for the day.  I planned to call the next morning. 

Last night Todd and I watched I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry.  It was funny.  I did not sleep well because I was nervous about the chemo and my port was a little sore.  In the wee hours of the morning I noticed my friend Sara was awake too so she and I texted back and forth a little.  I was finally able to get some rest 30 minutes before my alarm went off – isn’t that the way it always happens? Todd and I got up and got ready.  I wanted to dress cute since I knew today was going to be a challenge – I had NO clue.  Before we left the house I called the doctor’s office and learned that their office did not open until 8:30 (my appointment was at 9:00).  I decided I would just have to call them on the way.  Todd and I hit the road ready to tackle whatever the day might hold.  I had packed my bag with lots to read and do and sweaters and scarves to keep me warm after the treatment.  I was prepared! 

At 8:30 I called the oncologist’s office. 8:30, 8:32, 8:33, 8:36, 8:47.  At 8:47 I finally got someone to answer the phone (by this time Todd and I were about 10 minutes away from the hospital).  When I spoke to the lady in the office I explained that I had an appointment today but I had received a call yesterday asking me to call them before coming in.  She told me that they were calling yesterday because my appointment needed to be rescheduled – What?! Why didn’t the lady who left the message say the word “reschedule”?! Isn’t that what a normal person would do? – I explained to the lady on the phone that I am almost to the hospital and it is not acceptable for them to leave such a vague message and expect me to know what that means.  She basically told me that I should have called them yesterday because then I wouldn’t be in the situation that I’m in now.  Oh, heck no!  I explain to her that I had my port put in yesterday and it was left accessed (needle sticking out) because that is what they wanted me to do since I was starting my chemo today.  Since I was having, oh I don’t know, s-u-r-g-e-r-y yesterday there was no way for me to call before their office closed.  I don’t remember all that was said, but I do know that she made me feel like it was my fault that I didn’t know my appointment was cancelled.  As soon as I get off the phone I burst out crying.  I haven’t cried a lot during the whole process.  I haven’t felt the need to cry.  I have felt positive about my situation and I have felt well cared for on all sides.  I didn’t realize how sensitive I am about all of this until someone who obviously knew I have cancer was mean to me.  What kind of person is mean to a person who has cancer?

We got to the hospital but I needed some time to cool off before I went into the oncologist’s office.  My neighbor/fellow cancer fighter/close friend is in the hospital so Todd and I went to see him and his family.  We spent some time with Kristina and were able to help them out a little.  I had already contacted another oncologist’s office to schedule a consultation.  In my mind the voicemail and phone conversation were strike 2 and 3 – strike 1 was when I had to wait over an hour for my original consultation.  After I had cooled off I went to the oncologist’s to get a print out of my medical records and have my port de-accessed (needle put back into the port).  The office manager spoke with the oncologist and said that he wanted to speak with me.  I met with the oncologist and voiced my concerns and what had happened.  He apologized and said that this was not how his practice generally ran.  I have never had a bad experience with him or his nurses.  From the very beginning they made me feel like they cared about me and were ready to build a relationship rather than just a service acquaintance.  My problem has been with the front office and their customer service.  While I was speaking with the oncologist the “problem” that caused the need to reschedule was quickly resolved and he offered to start my chemo then.  I was already past that point.  That was not what I needed to do today.  I had more important things that needed my attention.  I declined treatment and mentioned that I would be speaking to another oncologist.  He said that he understood.  His nurse de-accessed my port and told me how to take care of it the next few days.  I am not sure what my final decision will be but I know that I made the right decision today.  Yes, the doctor and nurses seem to be good people, but I also have to deal with the office staff for several months and I have not had the same positive relationship with them.  I don’t need any additional stress.  I have enough on my own. 

I made a consultation appointment with another oncologist for next Thursday.  I am going to go to the consultation and then make my decision with a clear mind.  Today I am too emotional to not make a snap decision.  I am doing good, just very tired.  I’m not stressed about what happened today.  I have realized that there are more important things to waste my time on than being upset about my chemo schedule.  Much more important. 

I am a little sore from the port still – probably more today than yesterday.  I am going to bed early and taking my Percocet until I start to feel a little better.  One bright moment of the day was when I got home.  I was hurting from the car ride, tired from lack of sleep, and hungry.  When I walked up the front walk I noticed a box on the front stoop and a bag on the pedestal.  My wonderful in-laws (sister, mother, father, & Jason) got me a unicorn pillow pet! “It’s a pillow, it’s a pet.  It’s a pillow pet!” and “It’s so FLUFFY!”  The bag contained my very own Courage the Lion from one of my favorite cancer fighters!  He has a blue colon cancer ribbon and a tag that says “Shea’s Courage”.  Both of these animals made my bad day a little brighter.  I’m pretty sure I’ll be sleeping with both of them tonight.

I am in a pizza mood.  I would love a pepperoni pizza.  My song of the day is Sugarland’s “All I Want to Do”.  Kenton does the best rendition of the “do-o-o-o-o” part – it’s pretty hilarious! This one’s for you dude.  Night everyone!