Sapphires are Girls Best Friend!

12/16/10 – Lions and tigers, and bears, oh my!  Nope, that is just my hungry stomach you hear gurgling, no wild animals here.  It is so loud!

Today wasn’t as good as yesterday, but it was still a good day.  I woke up and felt stiffer than I had the day before. I think all the walking caught up to me.  I was trying to do too much at once.  I had to take things a little slower.  I focused on enjoying my day and managing my pain. 

My manager came by and brought me the best gift ever – a Smoothie King gift card!  I’ve read that you have to envision success and then it will become more attainable.  I now have the gift card, so the smoothie shouldn’t be too far behind.

I had several friends come and visit me and bring tons of Christmas cheer and fun.  I really do enjoy having visitors and being able to talk and see people.  I think that’s why I do this blog – I need an outlet, something fun just for me.  Yes, the socks and gifts and stuff are all fun but the people are the real entertainment.  I love just hanging out.

I was thinking about all the stuff that I’ve done and all the random things I’ve gotten.  The funniest thing I have is probably “colon kitty”!  It makes me happy and just cracks me up.  Theresa came to visit me the other day and she brought a beanie baby kitty cat whose name is “colon kitty”.  She said that her mom had given her “colon kitty” when she was 18 and had had to have a colonoscopy.  I love telling people that come to visit me that I have a “colon kitty”, the reaction is priceless!  It always makes me feel better, which is the whole point.

Since I always have to pick on one parent a day, my parent of choice today is my dad.  I have to walk the halls to make sure I’m stretched out and improve my lung function.  Well, since my stomach was hurting more today I have been keeping a pillow on the area to relieve the pressure.  I get my dad to go on a walk with me and push the machine that my IV is hooked up to since I have to hold the pillow.  I tell him that I want it a little in front of me so I don’t feel like I’m pulling it or its pulling me.  We head down the hall and I say “speed up a little dad”. “Speed up a little more.” “A little faster.”  I finally get him going about the speed I want when all of a sudden a guy down the hall who is walking starts throwing up in the hall.  Dad freezes!  Freezes!  (I am a sympathetic throwerupper - ** new word alert “throwerupper”** – so we need to get out of there fast.  I have also been nauseous, not to mention the fact it would hurt like heck to puke in my current condition.)  I say “come on dad! Come on! Hurry!”  “Speed up!”  Finally he starts to move.  I am booking it as fast as my IV line will allow.  I make it back to the room, sit down on the bed, and try to collect myself.  I tell him if that ever happens again he is supposed to run and I will keep up, but NEVER, I repeat NEVER freeze.  He goes into some mumbo jumbo about that being his first reaction since he was a principal for so long.  He’s supposed to take care of the students.  In this situation, I’m the student.  I’m the one who’s supposed to be taken care of.  Someone else can check on that guy.  The moral of the story, when you are in the hospital and someone throws up do not be attached to an IV line that my dad is holding.  He has good intentions, but it can turn out to be a messy situation.

So, being serious for a second… the surgeon came by to check on me today and after I refused to look at my incision once again, he asked if I had heard the pathology results.  I said no, I hadn’t.  He said that the cancer had spread to some of the lymph nodes.  That was really all he could tell me.  I will be talking with the oncologist tomorrow.  I’m in denial about the whole “could be more cancer” thing.  Well, it could be denial or the peace that surpasses understanding.  Either way, I’m not scared.  I’m doing well for my situation.

I have breaking fashion news to report – the colon cancer ribbon can also be navy blue! Navy, not brown!  I am so loving navy right now.  Sapphires are wonderful! Right?!

Today I got moved to a soft food diet.  The first thing I asked my doctor was if that meant I could have a smoothie.  He said, “yeah, I guess so” and then laughed.  I think my questions make him laugh.  I am proud to report that at 3:26 this afternoon I had a Peach Slice Plus smoothie from Smoothie King.  (I credit Shannon with this accomplishment because she brought me the gift card.)  I also had rice and mash potatoes – kind of bland but for a girl who hasn’t eaten in over a week, it was delish.

My goal for tomorrow is to go home.  I’m not sure if I will be able to swing it and it will probably be later in the day if it does happen.  I’ll keep you posted.

My song of the day is “Boogie Woogie Santa Claus”.  I like the part where it says “Boogieing all my blues away…” Best part!  Since I achieved my food goal today, I think I am back to a good ol’ cheese burger.  I miss Foresters.  I want a good burger and cheese fries – Ooo, Ooo, how about corn nuggets!!! Yes!  I need some of those fo sho!

This is my first night away from Todd and I’m not happy.  I don’t see what the big deal is, I haven’t gotten a good night sleep in awhile, why should he?  Just joking.  I understand why he’s not here, but I seriously doubt I’m going to be holding my mom’s hand all night long – somehow it’s just not the same. Good night, sweet dreams y’all!

Back to me

12/15/10 – I’m actually typing myself today.  I’m finally starting to feel more like “me”. 

Each day seems like an eternity.  Yesterday was very busy.  I had several visitors, so I passed out for the night at 9:00.  I was completely worn out.  I woke up at 12:00 for my routine vitals check.  I had a temperature and I felt terrible.   Karen, my nurse, was awesome and got my pain under control and some Tylenol to bring down my fever – I felt bad because they had to call my surgeon at 12:00 to confirm it was ok to give me Tylenol, luckily he approved it.

After several hits off the pain pump I started to feel like myself.  I slept until 3:00 and then decided to go on my first walk of the day.  At 3:00 Todd and I got up and walked to the window – my goal was to make it to the window, that’s all.  I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.  Success!  I made it to the window, touched the chair in the corner, turned around and took a deep breath, gotta make it all the way back to the room. 

I slept awhile once we got back to the room.  I got to feeling better by 8:00.  Unfortunately my surgeon came to visit (dunt, dunt, dummmm…) and it all went downhill for me quickly.  No, nothing terrible happened.  No, I did not get any bad news.  But what did happen was he removed the bandage off my incision!  One important thing you should know about me – I am extremely squeamish – this whole bandage removal thing was nothing short of traumatic.  After the bandage was removed I wanted to go on another walk but each time I rolled over to hit the halls I would get nauseous just thinking that my incision was touching my gown!  Gross!  Gross! Yick!  After several attempts I finally achieved success.

Today coughing and hiccups have been my nemesis.  Dude!  Those seriously hurt.  There was one time when I had hiccups and started coughing on top of that – one word, painful.

Todd went in to work today.  I had lots of visitors and phone calls.  I’ve really enjoyed catching up with everyone, though I tire easily.  I generally don’t condone falling asleep during conversations, but if I happen to do that while talking to one of you over the next few weeks, please don’t judge me =)

One funny parent story – Todd went in to work, and Todd’s parents went home to clean for when I get to come home, so there I was sitting in my hospital bed with my parents in the room.  I’m just sitting there thinking “this is really gonna stink if they are just gonna sit there the whole time”, so I casually say “I feel like y’all are just watching me to see what I’m going to do”.  My mom responds, “No, we’re not, and you’re not that interesting anyway!” Haha ha.  I got told by my mom!  Guess we all know where I get my inner diva from.

I’ve added Ensure back to my diet – the ice chips were getting a little old.  My only complaint is that the hospital only has the milk chocolate Ensure and not the dark chocolate Ensure.  Dark chocolate is yummy!  Yes, yes, you heard that right.  I actually like dark chocolate Ensure.  Obviously the lack of food is getting to me.  I’ve been told that I should be able to start a soft food diet tomorrow but I’m not getting my hopes up…. I am so going to ask if I’m approved for Smoothie King!

So, my song of the day is “I’m Walkin’ on SunShine, Woa Oh!, And Don’t it Feel GOOD!”.  I am still stuck on the Peach Slice Plus smoothie.  I must get one STAT!

Oh, I forgot to mention the colon cancer ribbon is brown - classy..., not.

Hey Soul Sister

12/14/10

It's about to get real.  Yesterday went well, quite a bumpy ride.  The highlight of my day was being pushed around in the hospital bed.  I asked the nurse if we could race down the hall because I was already going to surgery - What could it hurt?

I was in surgery for about three hours.  When I got out I was feeling pretty good and very chatty.  I got to hang out with friends and family.  My fellow divas brought me fun socks, head bans, and a tiara to top it off.

Sleep was elusive.  I finally had to get a different type of pain med to help me relax and get a little rest.

I didn't know much about the surgery and don't remember talking to my doctor.  During my time in my room I have watched: Kendra, The Nanny, Full House, Family Matters, Everybody hates Chris, The Nanny (again), and Saved by the Bell.  During a critical time during Saved by the Bell, Mom and Todd said, "Shea can we talk, we need to tell you about your surgery yesterday.  The Dr. was able to get all of the mass out and he referred to it as a tumor". What?!  Why didn't I know about this sooner?  So what if I was a little loopy yesterday?  Didn't I deserve to know first?  I soon got over my slight irritation of being filled in last.  I should be grateful for people who knew and were able to pray for me  so specifically.  My lymph odes are being tested to see if they are healthy.  I am looking forward to getting a cool cancer tattoo once all of this is over.

Believe it or not I am actually hungry, but it's only ice chips for me.  Once again I am pretending the ice chips are a peach plus smoothie from Smoothie King.  I was able to get up brush my teeth and walk around.  A little mascara, lip gloss, and a cute head band do a lot for a girl.  I am still in pain, but I am felling much better.  The song that is playing is Train "Hey Soul sister, aint that Mister Mister on the stereo?  The way you move aint fair you know..."

As Arnold would say " Its not a tumor" - at least not anymore.

Always Have A Tiara and Snickers Near

12/13/10- Very busy day!  Surgery went well, but I was woken up by "Auburn Bashing" in the recovery room.  I am now in my room were I can get comfortable:

Mascara (check)
Lip Gloss (check)
Snickers (check)
Tiara ( double check)

My song of  the day is from the Big Bang theory "Soft Kitty"  This always makes Sheldon feel better.
Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur
Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr

Today I am pretenting that my ice chips tast like a Peach Slice Plus smoothie.  I think it is time for a nap, but I will have more updates tomorrow.

Hardee's Biscuit and Gravy PLEASE

12/12/10 – Well, today I’m stuck at home (sad, I know).  I’ve been battling a head cold and since the nurses said no vitamin C or multivitamin after the pre-op, the cold has come out in full force.  My goal for today is to not get worse.  Right now I sound like a frog and have a small cough.  I guess I won’t make it to Stone Mountain for my work Christmas party after all.  Sadness.  (If I had the picture of me in Barbados when I didn’t feel well, I would insert it here.  It’s pretty pathetic.)

The first thing I think of when I get out of bed every morning is breakfast.  I want breakfast!  I could so go for a Hardee’s biscuit and gravy – Mmmm!  Last night Todd got a burger from Five Guys.  When we went inside and could smell all the awesome burgerness (**New word alert “burgerness”.  I’m in talks with Words With Friends to have this added to their dictionary.) Todd said, “Shea, you better go wait outside.”  Unh uh!  The doctor has already taken away my taste.  How dare you try to take away my sense of smell!  For the next few days, while I still want food, I am living vicariously through others.  So, if someone thinks a Hardee’s biscut and gravy sounds pretty awesome too, come on over.

No church for me today since I am locked in the house.  I’ve been thinking about the last sermon that I actually got to hear.  Please pardon me for being preachy, but this is my blog, so I can say whatever I want = )  The last sermon I heard really touched my heart.  At the time I was experiencing a lot of pain.  It was right before I did the sitz marker test.  I have been clinging to this passage ever since.

 2 Corinthians 4:7-18 (New American Standard Bible)
 7 But we have this treasure in (A)earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of (B)the power will be of God and not from ourselves;
 8 we are (C)afflicted in every way, but not (D)crushed; (E)perplexed, but not despairing;
 9 (F)persecuted, but not (G)forsaken; (H)struck down, but not destroyed;
16 Therefore we (R)do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our (S)inner man is (T)being renewed day by day.
 17 For momentary, (U)light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison,
 18 while we (V)look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

I tend to hang out around verse 8 and verse 17.  I have found through this that I am sometimes perplexed and yes, I have light affliction, but in reality I’m ok.  I’m going to be ok.  I have found a lot of strength in these verses.  I know when Pastor Bobbie was preaching he apologized if the message came  across as being unfeeling towards someone’s trials.  I actually found it the opposite, uplifting.  It showed me that what I am feeling is only temporary and no matter how bad I hurt, I’m going to be ok because God is with me through it all.  Preachy moment over.  Thanks for humoring me.

Now to drink my first Ensure of the day and pretend it’s a Hardee’s biscuit and gravy….

I basically took it easy today since I was confined to the house.  I really enjoyed the snow flurries.  They made me feel better.  I decided to weigh and see if I have lost any weight during this whole liquid diet thing.  I am down 11 pounds since last Friday – what?!  That’s insane.  It looks like my New Year’s resolution has found me – I’ve been avoiding it for several years.

On to my song of the day… I don’t really have anything that sticks out so I’m going to choose “Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow!” just because the snow made me happy.  The food that I would give my left arm for today is Sesame Chicken.  I had actually planned to have Chinese food the Thursday night that I was put on a liquid diet.  I’ve wanted it ever since.  Extra egg rolls!

Everyone say a little prayer.  I'm bound to slip into more diva moments because I get no food or drink after midnight tonight and my surgery isn't until 3:30!  That's a long time, especially when you are already hungry.  Wonder if sleep walking eating is considered cheating?

Dear Santa,
I’ve been very good this year.  I would like to be able to eat real food for Christmas.  My only stipulation is that the real food tastes good.  It would be a travesty if I go without food for this long and the first thing I get to eat taste horrible.  Not too picky, right?  That’s all.
Yours Truly,
Shea Bamberg

Diary of a Hungry White Girl

Ok, here is where the daily blog starts.  Each day I will write what I can to update everyone and then I will have a song of the day and food that I wish I could eat.

12/11/11 – I am feeling so much better about everything today.  I am starting to make my peace with the situation.  I’m not getting better, I’m getting worse.  I need to be fixed.  I haven’t felt “normal” for months.

 Todd and I had a great day.  I woke up early and set my work “out of office” and tried to figure out how to drop my first semester Masters course.  I then did some quick Christmas cards and took it easy.  I am surviving on Ensure and Powerade.  I am a walking Miralax commercial.  I’m pretty sure I’m 30 years younger than their usual demographic.

We got ready and headed to the mall.  I got some Christmas shopping done, made my pitch for a Coach purse, bought a headband that resembles a tiara (my diva crown), and then headed to Harry Potter!  Harry Potter was awesome!  The coke icy during the movie was much needed.  After the movie I grabbed a small smoothie and then we headed to Christmas in the Park.  I got to hear the choir sing.  I was supposed to sing but I’ve lost my voice and I’m a little weak on the liquid diet, so I don’t think I could have stood there the whole time.  The choir sounded awesome!  I really enjoyed having a good Christmas moment.  I got to say “hey” to everyone in the choir and learned that Nichole is an OR nurse at the hospital that I would be at!  Awesome!  Home to watch the UFC fight.  Go GSP!

So, if I could sum up my day with a song it would be “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”.  The food that I would cut off my right arm to have is a good hot dog!  2 please!  Big girl is hungry.  I’m considering changing my title to “Diary of a Hungry White Girl”.  Thoughts?

Just Another Day In My Colon...

Ok people, I think it is time for me to start a surgery blog.  I’m sure we are all bound to laugh, cry, and be completely bored together.


In the beginning… I was completely ok.  Never had surgery, never really been sick.

I don’t really know where it started, but once we came back from our cruise I just did not feel right.  I went to the doctor because I thought I was lactose intolerant.  I was tested, and nope, that’s not the answer.  The doctor then sent me to the GI doctor.  The GI doctor wanted me to have a sitz marker test.  So, basically I had to swallow a capsule with 20 or so “silly band” looking things and then had x-rays on days 3 and 5 to see where they were in my digestive system.  The GI doctor calls after the last x-ray and says “you still have a lot of markers still inside.  I need you to do ‘xyz’ to clean out your system”.    Well, good ‘ol ‘xyz’ landed me in the hospital!  I had severe cramps on the right side of my body, tightness in my chest, and physically got sick.  The ER basically gave me pain meds and got me feeling more comfortable.  They mentioned that my white blood count was up and said they could do a CAT scan or I could go home and then follow up with my GI doctor the following day.  I opted to go home, sleep in my own bed, and follow up with my doctor that Friday.  So, Friday I went to the doctor and explained that ‘xyz’ just did NOT work for me.  She told me to do the whole colonoscopy prep and scheduled an abdominal/pelvic CAT scan.  Let the drama begin!

So, I have to do the CT with contrast, which basically means I have to drink this nasty chalky stuff.  The lady at the radiology asked what flavor I wanted – berry or vanilla.  I happen to actually like vanilla, so I chose berry!  My CT was scheduled for 7:40 that Thursday.  I had to wake up at 5:40 and start drinking this nasty stuff.  I actually made it through the first bottle – yay me!  The second bottle did not fare so well.  I made it to the hospital and checked in.  I mentioned to the lady that I didn’t think I could finish the stuff without getting sick.  The coolest radiology lady said “I don’t see anything”.  I then went into the bathroom and poured out my remaining fifth of the chalky stuff!  Victory!  Then I was called back to the CAT scan.  The lady that hooked me up was very nice.  I didn’t know I would have to have an IV for the CT, so I was surprised when she made me sign saying I was ok with it.  You see, I had had my first “diva moment” at the ER the following week when the ER nurse put my first ever IV.  I have a real problem with something staying inside me.  So, I warned the CT nurse that I had not had my Snickers that morning and that I was liable to be a diva.  She walked me through everything and I believe I behaved well.  The CT scan was quick and relatively painless.  I was finished and on my way to work in no time! Holla!

I get to work, have a few meetings and then get to doing some actual work.  It’s around 12:00 or so and my cell rings.  I notice it’s my GI doctor’s number, so I answer the phone (if I had music on this blog it would be a “dunt dunt duh DUM…”).  The doctor says “Hi Sydney, can you come in this afternoon to go over your test results today? – Stop! Remember this is the CAT scan I had that morning – I say “well, I’m at work, but I guess I can come in later…” The doctor then asks if Todd can come with me.  I am totally just not understanding…, why does Todd need to come? Why do we need to come today?  I actually said to my doctor, “Dr. Raina, you’re scaring me”.  She said she knew it sounded scary, but she really just needed to talk with me today.  Cue Todd… I call Todd and tell him, and he just can’t stand it.  He sends me an email that says “I can’t work.  I’ve gotta get outta here”.  I talk to my boss and Todd and I decide to meet at the house and then ride to the doctor together.  I ate a little lunch at work and got a few things finished and then headed to the house.

Todd asked if I wanted anything to eat because he was going to pick something up.  I say “no, I’m good” – side note: that was and still is the WRONG answer, WRONG answer!  Todd calls as I’m on my way home and says he got Long John Silver’s and he didn’t eat all of it so if I’m snacky I can have what’s left.  Well, when I get home I am a little hungry so I eat one piece of fried fish, a handful of fries, and a bunch of crispy things (remember what I ate, it’s important to the story).  Todd and I head off to the GI doctor trying to determine what could be so horrible that the doctor would want to see both of us on the day of the test – note to self: nothing you think of is ever good.  We get to the office and are taken to a consult room.  On the wall is a digestive disorders poster, Todd jokes that if he had had that earlier he would have had me diagnosed for sure!  On to the serious stuff… The doctor comes in and says that the CT people called her during a procedure to let her know that the CT showed a mass on the left side of my colon.  I totally did not comprehend what she was telling me.  What? A mass in my colon?  My right side hurts because I have a blockage? Processing..processing..I’m pretty sure that nothing is really connecting.  So, she says that I need to have a colonoscopy the next morning after I meet with the colon and rectal surgeon, and there is a strong possibility that I might be admitted to the hospital for surgery to remove the mass on Friday! Craziness!  Complete craziness!

I don’t think I really reacted the way normal people would.  Do normal people not cry when they hear they have a mass in their colon that their doctor doesn’t know what it is?  Do normal people just sit there and go “ok, what do I do now?”  What do normal people do?  Why do I feel so calm about everything?

We call everyone.  Friends, family, coworkers, bosses…. My parents tell me that if there is a possibility that I am having surgery they are coming.  Todd and I go home and try unsuccessfully to sleep.  The next morning I wake up at 8:00 just to find out that the surgeon’s office doesn’t open until 9:00.  At 9:00 I call and learn that the surgeon is in Lawrenceville and has 2 surgeries that morning.  He can’t see me until 4:00 that afternoon.  Oh! Did I forget to mention that after my appointment the following day I was told no more food, liquids only.  Yes, that means that my last meal was LEFT OVER LONG JOHN SILVER’S!  My parents get into town and we have a nice day.  I am tired so I can do little things and then have to rest.  At 4:00 we head to the surgeon’s office for the consult.  When they ask me how I’m doing I forcefully say “I’m HUNGRY!”  The surgeon sits Todd and I down and explains that I have a mass on the left side that is causing a big blockage on the right side which requires surgery.  We say “Wait! What happened to the colonoscopy?”  The surgeon explains that we could do a colonoscopy but since they would be pushing air through there it could cause the area to rupture.  A stint in the mass might work, but it could also be more hazardous because it is unlikely that it would work and, even if it did, if it messed up I would wind up having emergency surgery.  I think I asked the surgeon 3 or 4 times “I have to have surgery?!” and each time he said “Yes.  You have to have surgery.”  He even called my GI doctor while I was in the office to discuss if another method was available – nope.  Basically I am going to have an x-ray to see if my blockage is still as bad (thus the “Shea’s so Full of It” title), and then based on the x-ray remove the mass and the part of my colon that is backed up.  After I finally got it through my brain that I was going to have surgery I asked the surgeon “so, how long are we talking about here?”  He said “about 5 – 7 days.”  Ok, ok, not ideal, but I’ll be out of work a week.  Nope.  He says “you’ll be in the hospital 5 – 7 days, you’ll be out of work 4 – 6 weeks!”  What?!  I actually told the doctor, “No, you don’t understand, its year end.  We have an audit coming up.”  I’m pretty sure he said “You’re having m-a-j-o-r surgery.”  I so did not sign up for this.  How dare it be called “elective” surgery – NO! I did not elect this.  Recount! Re-count!

I was glad my parents were there.  I think the roughest time was when I was told how extensive all of this was going to be.  I felt like my life was already disrupted with this horrible pain, but now the pain was actually taking away my life.  Taking away what I love to do.  Taking away my control.  I did not like that one little bit.  During this whole thing I have tried not to cry.  I almost lost it.  The only thing that kept me together was looking at my mom.  I’m pretty sure I saw a tear in the corner of her eye, but I quickly said “don’t you cry”, that was more for me than her.  It worked.  We hugged and they headed back home to return on Monday for the actual surgery.

Todd and I headed over to the hospital for my pre-op.  I absolutely love Emory Johns Creek.  Every experience I have had there has been great.  They are awesome.  The pre-op didn’t take too long.  The worst news I got was that I am not allowed to wear makeup or jewelry the day of the operation, and I’m supposed to come in with baggy clothes and flats – boring…  I can’t function without mascara.  They can take my fashion, but they can’t take my freedom! – Braveheart moment.

I was cleared for smoothies, so we booked it to the nearest Smoothie King.  Peach Slice Plus is pure heaven! Yum!

Todd and I headed home to focus on having a good weekend.