Scan News and Next Steps

Hey Hey!  Well….things don’t always go the way we plan.

I went to see my oncologist on Monday to get my results from my PET/CT scan.  I think in my mind I prepared for either result – cancer had decreased and I was clear to have surgery to have it all removed or continuing chemotherapy.  I really wanted him to tell me, “Its much smaller and you can have surgery to remove it all now.”  Though, in the back of my mind I was prepared to hear the opposite.

Monday morning I dressed up (because if you get bad news the last thing you want to be is frumpy!), dropped Ellis off at my friend Sara’s house to play with some other little people, and headed to Georgia Cancer.  Todd met me and we waited to meet with the doctor.  Anticipation is the worst part – even worse than the actual news! 

My oncologist came into the room and told us the news.  My cancer isn’t worse but it’s not better.  The tumors are still in the same place and are still relatively the same size.  At that moment all I honestly thought was “hunh….”  I really didn’t think anything.  I didn’t burst out crying or get angry.  I didn’t start to freak out or talk uncontrollably.  It was surreal. 

So, then we talked about what my new path is.  The oncologist said that I had 2 options and they aren’t exclusive – surgery and chemotherapy.  He recommended that I see my GYN oncologist and a surgical oncologist to talk about surgery for debulking.  Debulking would mean that they would go in and remove what tumors they can.  They may not be able to remove all the tumor but they would remove what is able to come out at the time.  Then, I would continue with chemo because I would still have some tumor left.  I will do some more chemo before the surgery because I don’t need to stop for too long and we don’t know how quickly I will be able to have surgery.  The timing on my surgery will depend on if I chose to use my GYN oncologist or a surgical oncologist. 

To be honest the news isn’t bothering me as much as you would think.  I think it is because in the back of my mind I thought that this might be the case though I hoped and prayed it would be different.  I also think that it’s good that it hasn’t gotten worse.  I tend to deal with things better if I have a clear path.  And, I have a clear path.  I’m meeting with surgeons next week and I’m starting back to chemo.  I’m actively doing something to fight this.

I start back to chemo this coming Monday.  I’ll be doing a different mixture of chemo drugs to see if my cancer responds better.  Basically I’ll do chemo, have surgery sometime to debulk my tumors, and then probably finish chemo and have another scan.  It’s pretty much the same circle as before.

Now I don’t want all of you to be sad and feel sorry for me.  I’m more than capable of feeling sorry for myself from time to time.  I feel great right now.  I’m optimistic of my path and am going to just keep on pushing!