Skin to Skin

The NICU is really cool. We get a call from his PA each morning with an update and are allowed to ask any questions we like. We can touch him during his care times at 3, 6, 9, and 12.

Ellis went on a bubble cpap to help his breathing and was set at a 7 originally. He had oxygen if needed but generally had only slightly higher than room air. The NICU started him on tropic feedings which are small feedings just to get his body used to milk.

By the second day I had stretched and walked so much I was able to change his diaper. That night we did our first skin to skin time. Skin to skin is where I hold Ellis against my chest and he can smell me, feel my warmth, and hear my heart beat. Skin to skin is great for the baby because it relaxes him and I love it because it makes me feel close to him.

Erin went with me to my first skin to skin time. She was like a photograph ninja. She was all over the place! I just closed my eyes and enjoyed holding my baby. When I looked up Erin was crying. What's wrong with me?! I didn't cry when he was born. I didn't cry when I held him the first time. .... Oh well.... Erin started reading "Love You Forever". Half way through the story as Erin read, "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be" I started bawling! It was an ugly cry too. As I was sobbing I said, " this is a horrible book!". Erin and I both laughed and gathered ourselves together and finished the book. Holding Ellis the first time was so special. I'll never forget how that felt. It was the best feeling ever.

The nurse told us that she was going to give him a bath that night and I asked if I could watch. She moved her schedule to a time when Erin and I could come. I was so excited I couldn't sleep. We woke up at 5:20 and headed to the NICU for his first bath. The nurse let me help. I soaped him up, washed his hair and combed it, and rinsed him off. He seemed to like and not like a bath.

From there Ellis has improved and changed each day. He moved from a 7 on his cpap to a 5 and today he moved off the bubble cpap to a lower pressure machine. He breathes room air most of the day. They have also increased his feedings and after losing some initial weight he has started to gain. He currently weighs 2 lbs 9 oz. Ellis loves to sleep on his side and hold hands. He loves food and is currently deciding if he's interested in a pacifier or his finger more. He likes stories, being held, and wiggling.

Day One

Ellis was born at 7:47 am on September 21, 2012. I got to see him for a few seconds in the delivery room. They took his clap off so I could see his face. I kissed his head about 7 times and told him I loved him and would see him as soon as I could. He sqeeked at me which I loved because I knew his lungs were working He looked so much better than what I expected of a 28 week premie. He wasn't all wrinkly and his color looked great. I was told that on a rating out of 10 he was between an 8 and a 9 which even some full term babies don't.

My OB asked if I wanted a regular room or if I wanted to be on the GYN floor. I asked if I could be on the GYN floor or high risk pregnancy because I just didn't know how I would react being around other moms who have their babies with them. As soon as I went to the recovery area I realized my experience was going to be different. In recovery there were moms with their babies but I was alone. It didn't bother me as much as I thought it might. I knew my baby was in the best place.

I was moved to a room in high risk pregnancy. I was so glad to be somewhere that people knew me and that didn't feel awkward. The NICU took some adorable pictures of Bam Bam without his cpap on so I could see his face. As I lay in the bed willing my legs to wake up from the epidural I stared at his pictures and wondered, "Are you an Ellis Harden or are you a Sidney Charles?". My goal for the day was to get out of that bed and see my baby!

Around 5:00 that afternoon the nurse came in and said we could try to get up. Rolling over and scooting to the edge of the bed was the hardest part. She said I needed to be able to do it on my own, so that is what I did! Only one hand to grip and I made it with some pain to the edge of the bed. Standing up was the easy part and it felt antastic to stretch! I walked just a little and then returned to bed. The nurse told me to rest and then I could venture to the nursery around 8:00.

I left my room at 7:55 headed to see my baby. I was warned that my epidural pain pump only had 6 doses left before it needed to be replaced. I was told not to stay in the NICU that long - yeah, right... Our first NICU nurse was wonderful. She walked us through every number, every piece of equipment, and everything we should do to keep our baby comfortable. Todd changed his first diaper and helped weigh Bam Bam. Needless to say, my epidural wore off and we had to leave after being in the NICU an hour and a half to get me some much needed meds.

After taking care of my pain Todd and I sat around discussing the name. Which was he? Ellis or Sydney? We came to a decision that our little Bam Bam was most definitely an Ellis Harden Bamberg. Ellis means "the Lord is my God" which fits him and our situation.

Our Story

During my first trimester my perinatal specialist discovered a tumor in my right ovary. I had surgery to remove the tumor and it was confirmed that the tumor was my colon cancer that had moved into my ovary. I then had 3 MRIs that all came back clear and met with 2 oncologists to discuss my care. Both agreed to wait until after delivery and then do a PET scan.

At the end of my second trimester my OB did a biopsy of my cervix and discovered my cancer had moved yet again. My colon cancer is now in my cervix and is in a spot that makes it inoperable.

My perinatal specialist and OB decided that the best course of action was to deliver the baby at 28 weeks 2 days with the assistance of steroid shots. I received my shots and little Ellis Harden Bamberg made his early debut on September 21st at 7:47 am. He weighed in at 2lbs 13oz 15 1/2 in.

Ellis and I are both stubborn. We don't want to be defined by a situation because we are more than just a premie and a cancer patient. We love books, food, and snuggle time. We are also occasionally fussy but we feel it's always justified =)