Insomnia and Smack Talking

5/3/11 – Is anyone surprised that I can’t sleep?  Yeah, me either.

I have too much on my mind.  I generally lie down and try to think of good things to dream about – gardening, shopping, shoes.  But, then I start to think about things that require actual thought – what color should I dye my hair, how am I going to decorate Jason’s grooms cake, what should I wear tomorrow, and of course chemo.  That is where the problem lies – thinking.  Thinking ruins it.  By the time I realize I’m thinking about stuff I’m already composing a blog in my mind.  Once that starts there is no going back.  So, basically I’m lying in bed, eyes closed, writing a blog in my mind.  I crack one eye open and then the other.  By that time I realize I’m wide awake so I might as well get up.

My problem with insomnia is that I have no one to talk to.  For some reason I like to lie in bed and talk to Todd about the things that are running around in my head and it just doesn’t cut it if all I get is a grunt in response.  Fortunately I have the blog to write all my randomness in to and you can choose to read it or not.  Maybe you can’t sleep either and need something to do?  If so, tonight I’m happy to oblige.

As I mentioned in my earlier blog I’m a little anxious about tomorrow because I’m still not 100% after being sick last week.  It’s kind of like going into a game already injured.  I thought maybe I wasn’t able to sleep because I’m nervous about tomorrow.  Makes perfect sense to me.  I gave myself an hour to fall asleep but nothing happened.  I decided to take matters into my own hands.  I have a prescription for Ativan for nausea and any other reason I might need to take it.  It just so happens to also be a sleep aide and an anti-anxiety – win, win.  Yep, I am now medicating myself for anxiety, and I’m ok with that.  Obviously it hasn’t kicked in yet because I’m still awake writing to you.   Hopefully soon.

Last night I was over at Kristina’s having some girl time with her and Sara.  We ate dinner, talked and watched TV.  We usually watch those last cake standing shows or other randomness.  All the shows we were interested in had gone off and there were no good movies on.  Kristina started flipping through channels and we landed on Yo Mama. I was intrigued by the title so we looked at the description of the show.  It is a show all about smack talking.  It pits competitors from different areas close to each other against one another and they battle it out.  Kind of like if there was a group from Phenix City/Smiths Station, Auburn/Opelika, Tuscaloosa/Northport, Suwannee/Buford and they whittle down the contestants within the groups and come up with one from each group to go against the other for bragging rights.  What is amazing is the winner gets $1,000.00 – way to encourage good behavior and manners MTV!  There are 2 smack talking examples that I remember from last night.  One is on the questionable side and one is ok.  Here they are:

-          Yo mama is so nasty she went to Red Lobster and they kicked her out for bringing her own crabs.

-          Your hair cut needs a pillow.  It looks TIRED.

Yes, I know.  Highly educational television.  I know I learned a lot from watching the show.  (1) Do not talk about someone’s mama unless you are prepared for them to talk about yours. (2) Not all jokes make sense.  (3) Do not pick on someone bigger than you.  I’m just sayin’.

Well, that about wraps it up for me.  Nothing else I need to share.  I hope you have enjoyed this informative midnight blog.  Good night, sweet dreams.