7/14/11 – Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight. Does it still count if my wish is made on a lightening bug? That’s the only light outside I see. I vote that it should count.
Todd took me to my final chemo session on Tuesday. It didn’t seem real to me – that it is over. I feel like I’m supposed to keep going. I do have a follow-up appointment in 2 weeks so that will also make it seem not quite done, though I won’t need a “safe ride” for once. I like the fact that I have a follow-up appointment. It gives me some middle ground that I think I really need. I don’t know what we are supposed to do at this follow-up but I assume we will talk about how my final treatment went and what my next steps are.
Wednesday was a little harder than a normal Wednesday of chemo week for me. I spent most of the day in bed trying to relax. Not too much to report. Todd and I did manage to get some grocery shopping done for our cabin trip.
Today was and is my final icky Thursday. I will never, ever, ever miss the Thursdays of chemo treatment. EVER! I am looking forward to Thursdays becoming the day before Friday once again. I took a phenergan last night before going to bed in hopes that it would give me a head start to my Thursday which I desperately needed. Today slept late like I normally do on Thursdays but when I got out of bed it wasn’t quite as bad as usual. I took my time getting ready and then Todd and I, along with the dogs, headed up to Gainesville for my final pump removal. I got my usual nausea shot because the day was starting to catch up to me. I saw my oncologist when I was in the infusion room and he gave me a smile and said “final pump removal!” to which I responded a hearty “YES!” Once the nausea meds started to kick in and my pump was removed I was free to go. It felt a little sad hitting the exit button and leaving the room for my final treatment. Victorious, but a little sad.
I felt a boost from my nausea shot and made my way down to the truck to meet Todd and the dogs without incident. Balance was my friend once again, at least for the 30 minutes that my drugs lasted. After leaving the cancer center we made a quick stop at my work to drop off a birthday card for a coworker that I forgot earlier and a chemo present for one of my special co-workers who is also a fellow cancer fighter - she is about to start her own battle. I find that it is always good to be prepared before a fight, even a fight against cancer. I knew I looked drugged up and tired so I tried to make the visit a brief one, best not to frighten people.
Speaking of frightening appearances… I have had a weird reaction my last two chemo treatments. The past two Thursdays of chemo I have woken up to swollen lips. My lips look like I have been getting collagen shots. I knew my lips felt weird the first Thursday but I didn’t really think anything of it because I normally feel so crappy on those days anyway and avoid mirrors at all cost because I look just plain scary. I just assumed that it was part of my throat ickiness until Todd said “hey, your lips look a little swollen”. I checked in the mirror and sure enough – duck lips. This morning I woke up and instantly felt them. They were huge. I got ready like usual and tried to use the lightest lip gloss to not bring too much attention to my Sha-na-na lips. The swelling went down some during the day but I am still looking rather voluptuous.
After dropping by my work Todd and I headed to the cabin for a relaxing last chemo weekend. Mom and Dad have gone to Jekyll Island for vacation so Todd and I have come to the lake for a little vaca ourselves. So far I have snacked a little because eating a lot feels gross, watched the rain fall, slept, made a wish upon a lightening bug, and am now typing my blog. I like to say that my real vacation starts tomorrow, today doesn’t count because you’re not supposed to feel gross on your vacation.
I hope all of you have a great Friday and an even better weekend. If I could have anything to eat I would like a milkshake or a smoothie to soothe my throat. My song of the day is inspired by the rain. It’s been a song that has been special to me since my whole process started. We used to sing it in choir and I always found myself singing it in the shower, praying that healing rain would fall down on me and on all those that surround me. “Healing Rain” by Jesus Fellowship.
Night y’all!
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