3/16/11 – Hello all! I am actually doing well today. For the first time I woke up without any nausea today. That’s huge. The nausea has emerged throughout the day, but waking up with it is the worst part.
I know I’ve explained a lot of the things I go through during chemo: cold sensitivity, constant nausea, fatigue, and my right hand not always responding the way it should. I have never really explained how I feel through the whole process. I never want to focus on the bad. I like to stay positive and focus on the good stuff, but like I mentioned before, I did not know what all chemo entailed until I was going through it. I want to use my blog to share how I’m feeling and bring awareness to what chemo means to some people.
When I spoke with my counselor this week she mentioned she had several patients that have gone through or are going through chemo and they have all said that it’s not as bad as they thought. I consider myself to be completely opposite. It is worse than what I was expecting. I think we hear the word “chemo” a lot on a day to day basis – “so-and-so is going through chemo” “Oh, really? So-and-so is too.” For me it had become just a word. Something that I knew was a big deal but I thought was do-able – almost easy, just long. I did not know how hard it was.
I go in for chemo on Tuesdays. I’m generally at the office between 9:15 – 2:00. When I’m getting chemo I feel fine. There are times when a sudden sleepy spell just hits me but I generally feel pretty normal. When I leave I’m tired. I usually go and get something to eat because the nausea meds are still working so it’s important to get at least one more good meal in before heading home. When I get home I mostly rest. Sometime around 3:30 I start to really drag. I’m tired but I’m also heavy. When I stand up it feels like someone has placed a truck tire on my shoulders. Movement is an effort but not impossible. I stay bundled up throughout the entire process because of the cold sensitivity. I have started taking a nausea med before falling asleep to help prevent nausea in the morning. I shouldn’t have to tell you how disgusting it feels to wake up feeling nauseous. It seems like such a normal thing but it feels so gross. There really isn’t anything you can do but roll out of bed and wait for it to pass. Through the week my symptoms get stronger. I have the pump of 5FU that goes home with me and continually pumps chemo into my body every 30 seconds. By around 12:15 Thursday all the chemo is in me and the truck tire on my shoulders feels like 2. I basically feel like someone who has the flu – like someone has run over me. By Saturday and Sunday I start to feel a little better. Monday after chemo I finally wake up and feel normal again. It’s a process, but it is a process that will increase my chances of not getting cancer again by 20%. Even when I’m feeling horrible it’s worth it.
I forgot to post a colon cancer fact again yesterday. Really if you read my blog you get colon cancer awareness on a daily basis. Here is our final Colon Cancer Myth: www.cancer.org
Myth 5: It’s better not to get tested for colorectal cancer because it’s deadly anyway.
Truth: Colorectal cancer is often highly treatable. If it is found and treated early (while it is small and before it has spread), the 5-year survival rate is about 90%. But because many people are not getting tested, only about 4 out of 10 are diagnosed at this early stage when treatment is most likely to be successful.
Have any of you seen the commercials for the American Cancer Society where Celine Dion or Ricky Martin are singing “Happy Birthday” to advocate less cancer and more birthdays? Well, when Celine Dion is singing I tend to sing along “Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday thank-you-for-singing-to-me-Celine-Dion, Happy Birthday to you.” I like idea of singing along with another diva. Try it out if you see the commercial. It makes me smile.
Tonight Todd is making me some of his wonderful chicken and rice for dinner. I’m super hungry. If I could have anything to eat I would like a slice of black berry cobbler with a scoop or two of ice cream. Yum! My song of the day is “Misery” by Maroon 5. Don’t read anything into it, I’m not in misery right now = )
Night y’all!
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