3:00 am, I'm awake writing a blog

3/24/11 – Hello 3:00 am, how’s it going?

I’m not sure why I’m wide awake again, but I am.  I blame Buster.  He woke me up at 2:28 (I looked at the clock) to go to the bathroom.  Buster uses the “nudge mom’s side of bed and whine until she wakes up” approach.  Highly effective but it never endears me to him at that time of the morning.  You would think that Buster would go to the bathroom before going to bed but he must like this time for some reason.  I think he thinks I’ll let him get in the bed once he comes back inside – wrong!  Percy always runs along and goes to the bathroom too.  He never bothers to wake me up in the middle of the night.  He uses the “pee or poop somewhere where mom won’t find it until a couple days later and can’t spank me approach”.  I guess I should cut Buster some slack.

So now I’m awake and can’t fall asleep all because of the dogs.  My usual thoughts keep running through my mind, mostly my mean letter I’m composing to Jessica Simpson Collection about my bathing suit.  I’m not sure why it bothers me so much but it does.  I also worry about the race this weekend.  I know I’ll finish but I do want to have a good time for a walker.  I just don’t like unresolved issues or the unknown.

I’m going in to work tomorrow, so I’m also planning what to wear in my head.  That usually helps me fall asleep though.  I plan my outfits while falling asleep a lot.  On the days that I don’t look so hot that’s it’s usually because I was really tired the night before and couldn’t complete my thought process before konking out.  Some people count sheep, I plan outfits.  I also like to think of which shoes to wear with different outfits.  Shoes make me happy.

Being awake so many nights in a row has made me realize just how comfortable I am walking around in the dark.  I’ve never been afraid to walk about in the middle of the night without turning lights on.  Growing up I used to walk all the way from my bedroom to the kitchen (other side of the house) without turning on a single light just to get some orange juice.  Why should that change once I’m grown up?  My only real fear is being attacked by Stella the stealth bomber on my way to my destination.  If I ever do turn a light on I always find that she’s never too far away from where I am. 

Todd doesn’t have the same comfort with the darkness though.  Before going to bed he always turns the light on his nightstand before turning off the main light in the bedroom.  It only takes 5 steps to get to the bed, so why waste the energy turning on a light?  I do have an irrational fear that someone is going to grab my ankle as I go to get in bed, but I don’t think having a light on would change that.  I have always had this fear but I blame Stella for making it worse because when she was a kitten she would play under the bed and would swat at your feet and you made the last jump into bed.  Yes, jump, you read that right.  Those of us who fear being grabbed while getting into bed to not merely “get” into bed, no, we literally “jump” into bed because jumping might just throw off whoever/whatever it is that is under the bed and free us from their clutches.  I guess I should examine the fact that if there was someone or something under my bed in the first place I might have a larger problem than just freeing my ankle.  Oh, well.

I don’t think there is really any more to say that hasn’t been said tonight/this morning.  I actually have the perfect song for my situation “Breathe (2 am)” by Anna Nalick.

http://listen.grooveshark.com/s/Breathe+2am+/2KT3Lc?src=5

Sleep.