Friday, February 4, 2011

Shea just wants to have fu-un


2/4/11 – Hey everyone!  Today was another good day.  It was harder to get out of bed this morning because I am starting to get tired from working full days, but I made it through the whole week – sweet!  I’m starting to get another mouth sore – great.  I’ve been using my mouthwash that tastes just so yummy (if you haven’t figured out yet, I love sarcasm).  It does work well.
I don’t think I’ve mentioned it in my blog but tomorrow night is prom.  Yes, you read that correctly – prom.  How old am I?  It’s funny to think that my high school prom was 10 years ago!  Our church has marriage prom around Valentines.  They started doing it last year and it is a blast.  When I first heard about it I thought it might be lame (sorry, just being honest) but it was a TON of fun!  It was so cool to see couples of all ages hanging out and dancing.  Can you believe it?! Baptists do dance.  The prom is at a high school, there’s a DJ, tons of yummy treats, and we all get professional pictures made.  I totally cannot wait! 
I had a dress prepared but I decided to run by Panache (a local consignment store) to see if I could find anything I couldn’t live without.  The store is really cool.  I picked out 3 dresses that had potential and one of the owners started a fitting room for me.  I kid you not, when I walked into the fitting room I looked up and on the wall there was a decal that said “Diva”!  What?! How did she know!  Once I picked out my perfect dress I asked if all the fitting rooms said diva – nope!  It was destiny.
After doing some light shopping I headed to Salon Sedona to get my hair done.  I am happy to report that my hair did not turn out orange or green.  I had it cut a little shorter so when it starts to thin I won’t freak out too much.  I also had some blue put in just for fun.  The blue was supposed to be indigo.  We were going for peacock blue.  I got some on my finger on accident and it was really dark.  Well, in my hair it didn’t turn out as dark as we wanted.  It is like a light Cyndi Lauper color blue.  All I need is a crimper and I am set!  It is pretty but we are going to try to make it a little darker next week.
Some of you may be wondering if you read the last paragraph correctly.  Did I say I was putting blue in my hair?  Yes – BLUE!  Todd had mentioned it just joking when I was first diagnosed.  The more I thought about it the more I thought it might be kinda cool.  I just did peekaboo highlights that are up under my “natural” color.  I can show them if I want or not.  I don’t want y’all thinking that I’m having some quarter life crisis.  I think it looks tasteful and is just plain fun!
I am happy to report that I was able to eat some frozen yogurt!  Yay!  I can handle cold stuff for a few days before the chemo kicks back in.  Tara came and hung out with me when I was getting my hair done and she picked up Menchies – it’s kind of like Yogurt Mountain or Yogli Mogli.  It was SO good.  Mine had gummy bears on it!  It did make me really cold but at the time I was sitting under the hair drier so I warmed back up quickly.  I heart the hair drier.
After that I headed home to some yummy taco soup.  It was delish!  If I could have anything to eat right now I would like a Krispy Kreme fried pie.  I did not know those even existed until the other day when one of my friends said she got one at Publix.  That just sounds fan-flippin’-tastic!  A Krispy Kreme fried pie!  My song of the night is in tribute to my light blue hair – Cyndi Lauper’s “True Colors”!
I’m not sure if I will have time to blog tomorrow night, but I will definitely update you Sunday with all the details of the prom and maybe a picture or two.  Night y’all!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Workin' it out

2/3/11 – Hello all!  I have had another good day, but I’m starting to feel a little tired.  I think the full week is starting to catch up to me.  I’m just going to keep on truckin’.  I’ve got this!
If you can believe it I did not have anything embarrassing happen today - thanks in part to me not driving and Todd throwing away the pop paper.  One random question that has started to form over the past two days is that I wonder if Percy is really 100% dog.  I think there may be some kind of bird down his line of kin.  Reasons for this questioning are as follows:
-          He is crazy little.  Like he could probably fly if he had wings and sometimes when he runs it looks like he is hovering slightly above ground level.
-          He likes to find random things to build something.  I can only assume that he is building a nest.  He grabs paper towels, socks, plastic bags and RUNS to wherever his secret nest may be.  I’m sure one day I will find all of these items but for now I just see a tiny dog flying through the house at unheard of speeds for his size to some undisclosed location. 
-          Stella stalks him as if he were a bird from outside that accidentally flew in the house.  If Percy walks around the couch a few seconds later I will see Stella crouched as low as she can get moving oh-so-slowly, slowly, focus.  You can tell in her eyes she is calculating her attack.  It is at that particular moment that Percy usually turns and runs directly at her.  Foiled again!
If he’s not related to a bird in some way then my second guess is a Tasmanian devil!
I’ve been trying to exercise a little each day.  The first day I did a crunch I wondered if I might do more harm than good but I survived.  I haven’t been able to walk as much as I had before starting chemo.  I did walk one day last week and I was huffing and puffing once I got home.  I have a 5K to run in September!  I’ve gotta get in shape!  Tonight I finally made it back to ladies workout.  I hadn’t been to workout since before the surgery.  It was nice to get together with all the ladies, talk, and do some exercises too.  I can actually feel the burn! 

One of my coworkers who knew I like to garden bought me some paper white bulbs and a cute container to put them in.  I planted them and they’ve been hanging out on my kitchen table.  I’ve taken pictures of them along the way.  They have finally bloomed and they are beautiful.  They are very fragrant but it is a smell that my bionic nose actually likes.  Here are some pics of their progress.
In the beginning...

Starting to grow....

BEE-utiful!
That was pretty much my day – work and workout.  Tomorrow I am going to get my hair done (aka – therapy).  Let’s all cross our fingers that my hair doesn’t turn out some horrid color from the chemo.  I am actually planning to put blue in my hair.  I thought a little blue would be fun and it will be up under so hopefully it won’t be too ostentatious. 
I finally got some pizza last night.  It was delicious.  I’m feeling a Chick-fil-A cookies and crème shake – Mmmm…  My song of the day would be Oliva Newton John’s “Let’s Get Physical”.  Does anyone else watch The Office and remember when Michael Scott and Holly did “Let’s Get Ethical” for their ethics talk at work? One word – hilarious!  Completely wrong, but hilarious.  I found the clip on youtube!
Tomorrow’s Friday!  Yay!  Night y’all.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Ain't no germs on me!

2/2/11 – Happy Groundhog Day!  Sorry I didn’t get to write yesterday but I was busy, busy.
Yesterday my day started out on a slightly traumatizing note.  I woke up and got started working at my laptop.  All of a sudden a sneeze came out of nowhere!  I like to practice the “sneeze into your elbow technique” so I did that.  Though I did not sneeze on my hands I did sneeze all over my laptop!  Yes, I know this is totally gross thus the trauma.  So, now instead of getting grossness on my hands for a short period of time and then washing thoroughly I was going to be touching it all – day – long.  I wanted to go and get the disinfectant and spray the laptop but you just can’t DO that.  How do you properly disinfect a keyboard?  I’m not sure if this technique is approved by the Surgeon General but I wiped off the keyboard with a dry paper towel, washed my hands, and then doused my hands in hand sanitizer.  I put the sanitizer by the computer and would randomly put it on throughout the day.  My goal was to protect my hands and maybe disinfect the keyboard through transference.  So far I’m not sick and the keyboard smells fresh!  (In case you’re wondering, yes, I did just put on more hand sanitizer while typing this.  You can never be too careful.)
After that my day went smoothly.  I had another good day and was able to work a full 8 hours.  I love not feeling sick!  Yesterday was rather drizzly and then it began to rain just when I needed to leave the house – pur-fect.  I learned 3 very important things yesterday:
1.       I should not be allowed to drive in the rain and the dark.
2.       I should not be allowed to drive places I’ve only been in the daylight in the rain and the dark.
3.       Seinfeld had it right when they proposed an “I’m sorry, I’m an idiot” sign for driving.  Society has signs for much worse things.  There should totally be an “I’m sorry, I’m an idiot” sign because I needed to use it last night.  I think a peace sign would’ve just added insult to injury.
I remember when I first moved to Georgia I was amazed at how people could not function on the road when it rained.  For some reason we have a crazy amount of standing water that doesn’t run off but people also act like they have never seen this wet stuff that falls from the sky.  “What is that?!” “I don’t know, but drive slower and swerve a little to avoid it hitting the car.”  I used to make fun and pity these people.  Well, apparently I have now turned in to one of them – great.
If you’re finished laughing at my disgust with myself let’s move on to my day today.  Today was another good day.  I got a kick butt mouse pad from a fabulous friend that says “Cancer picked the wrong Diva!”  In case you’re wondering I totally sit at my computer and work all day with my tiara on my head.  I hate to admit it but I have eaten my Snickers scepter.  I don’t really miss it.  It was delicious! 
You may be wondering “Shea, are you ever going to run out of weird and slightly funny things to share with us?”  Well, I am 100% certain that as long as I keep eating, driving, shopping, listening to music and watching Bravo I will never run out of material.  For instance, today I was sitting at my disinfected laptop when Percy came over.  I am trying to potty train Percy so every time he comes to see me I get up and encourage him to go outside.  So, I get up and head to the door to let him out.  All of a sudden “POP!” “BANG!”  What?! Is someone shooting at me?! (Um, yes, that thought did run through my mind.  Too much Bravo I guess.)  I look down and I had stepped on some pop paper that items are shipped in.  It was the kind with the big bubbles so it sounded much louder and since I nearly fell twice last week I have become more intentional with my walking.  I nearly had a heart attack.  It took me a moment to recover.
I know all of you have been idly reading my blog waiting to see if I will have the conclusion of The Song Title Dialog well, wait no longer. 
What you may have missed:  Alejandro’s car was smashed by a drunk girl named Iris.  Deliah told Alejandro that she was in love with a stripper.  Will Iris even call Alejandro back?!  Is Deliah really in love with a stripper or was she making that up?!  What is this “diary of Jane” that I mentioned for no apparent reason other than to be elusive?!
Deliah: “Alejandro” I have some “Confessions”.  I’m not “In Love with a Stipper”, I was quoting the “Diary of Jane”.  I wanted to encourage “Jealousy”.
“I Can’t Fight this Feeling” “I Honestly Love You!”
Alejandro: “It Can’t Be True!”
Deliah: “What Can I Say” to “Make You Feel My Love”?
Alejandro: “Stop!” It would be a “Bad Romance”
Deliah: There’s “No Such Thing” as a “Bad Romance!”
Alejandro: I’m “In Love with Someone Else”
Deliah: “Iris?”
Alejandro: “No”.
Deliah: “Who Dat Girl?!”
Alejandro: “Hey There, Deliah…”  “I LOVE Rock N’ Roll”
Deliah: I’ll “Bust Your Windows!”
I hope you all got a good laugh from The Song Title Dialog.  I had fun putting it together.  Maybe one day I will be inspired and have another episode. 
Tonight I would love some pizza.  I need to eat pizza before red sauce grosses me out next week.  I am concerned that all my calories are going to catch up with me sooner than later.  I guess I should enjoy eating while I want it, right?  My song of the day is in tribute to Deliah – “Bust Your Windows” – get him girl!
I’m off to work on my art project.  Night y’all!

Monday, January 31, 2011

Contemplate a grape

Just for kicks!

1/31/11 – Yo!  It’s been a pretty darn good day.  I feel good.  I woke up and got straight to work.  I haven’t gotten overwhelmed or tired while working.  Maybe I’m on track to having a good week?  I hope!
No or very little nausea this morning.  My super sniffer is still strong.  There was one point during the day while I was sitting at the computer that I started sniff, sniff, sniffing.  “What is that SMELL?!”  I searched the house for a “gift” from Percy but none could be found.  All I can think is that he or Buster farted and it smelled overly strong to me.  I sprayed the entire house with febreze and lit a candle.  I wasn’t able to focus with the smell. 
During lunch I watched Bridalplasty – what a show!  I seriously worry about the world today.  I’m ignoring the fact that I actually watched the show and what that says about me.  I also watched a little Jerseylicious.  I am so a fan of this show.  It is like watching a train wreck.  I can’t tear my eyes from the screen.  I think I need to dress like one of the girls from the show for Halloween.
Speaking of lunch, I ate a double Snickers and contemplated grapes.  Have you ever seriously thought about or been confused by grapes?  Well, I can now say that I have.  I, Shea Bamberg, have been confused by grapes.  Not something you hear on a daily basis, right?  Well, picture this.  You’re sitting on the couch watching Jerseylicious eating grapes.  You eat a red grape and it tastes sour.  You eat a green grape and it tastes sweet.  “What’s going on here?!”  “What is going on with the universe?” Green grapes are supposed to be the sour ones and red are supposed to be sweet.  “Is it the grapes or is it ME?!”  So, what would you do?  I know I turned to Todd and said “Todd!  Taste these grapes and tell me which one tastes sweet to you.”  I was extremely disappointed because he refused so now I may never know.  It’s stuff like this that keeps me awake at night.  Some people may wonder which came first the chicken or the egg.  I wonder if the red grapes are really sour and the green ones or really sweet or if it’s all just me.  Deep stuff, I know.
This week is close week at work.  That basically means that we are closing out the month and are all busy.  I was glad to be given tasks to do to help out – working makes me feel a little more normal.  So, I sat at my laptop and turned up the music and work, work, worked.  I love working with music.  I think it helps me focus because it gives my mind some background noise.  I love Pandora radio.  I switch from music station to station.  This morning I was feeling Guns N’ Roses.  I have now perfected “Sweet Child of Mine”.   I’m taking it on the road.  Cover band?  Some of you may have though that accountants were boring – not so.  Some of us sing and add at the same time.  Multitasking at its finest!
Speaking of music, have you ever had a conversation with only song titles?  Todd and I decided to do that one day and it was hilarious.  I highly encourage this practice, though it is not necessarily appropriate for the work environment.  Here is a little dialog that I wrote out of song titles:
Alejandro: “Hey there Deliah!”
Deliah: “Alejandro!”
Alejandro: “I Never Told You” “Yesterday” a “Little Red Corvette” “Crash[ed] into Me?”
Deliah: “Shameless!”
Alejandro: I was drivin’ the “Cadillac on 22’s”.  The “Little Red Corvette” only had “One Headlight!”
Deliah: Was it “Bad, Bad Leroy Brown?!”
Alejandro: No, “Just a Girl”, “Iris”.  “I Ran” after her and all she could say was “You Found Me!”  I said “Call Me When You’re Sober”.  My car is “Broken” and wound up “Crawling” “Home”.
Deliah: You should have sent out an “S.O.S.” or used the “Telephone” to “Call Me”. 
Alejandro: You know, “My Life Would Suck Without You”.  “Whatever it is” you “Say You’ll be There”. 
Deliah: “Sweet Child of Mine”  I would “Sleep Through the Static” and walk through “Drops of Jupiter” if you said I “Need You Now”.
Alejandro: You’re “Unstoppable” but you “Should’ve Said No”
Deliah: Puh-lease.  “Big Girls Don’t Cry” and “What About Love”?  “Love is a Battlefield”.
Alejandro: “Hey there Deliah…”  “I Do Not Hook Up”.
Deliah: “Breathe” “Alejandro”…  “I’m in Love with a Stripper”!
Dunt, dunt, dum….. What will happen?  Will the girl who hit Alejandor’s caddie ever call?  Is Deliah actually in love with a stripper or was she just thinking of something quick to say to change the subject?  Will we ever know what is in the “Diary of Jane”?!
Tonight I enjoyed a relaxing night at home with some yummy chicken lasagna.  I am so in a pizza mood.  I would still like some Totino’s pizza rolls.  Why is it that they never really taste as good when you finally get them?  Even though I know that, I still want some.  My song of the day is “Up” by Shania Twain.  I heart this song!  “It can only go up from here!”  If you never listen to the songs you should at least listen to this one (Erin that means you).  It makes me laugh.  I’m considering doing my hair like hers.  Thoughts?
I’m feeling good and being positive about having a great week!  Night y’all!

Sunday, January 30, 2011

These tears are twofold

1/30/11 – Hello everyone.  How am I doing?  Hmm… How am I doing?  Well, you see, that’s a tough one.  Something so simple should be simple to answer but sometimes it’s the simplest things that are the hardest to answer.  I’ve been asked that question a lot today.  The answer is twofold.  Me, health wise?  I’m good.  I’m not feeling all that bad today.  Me, as a person?  It’s been a hard day emotionally.  I’ve cried a lot. I’ve cried because I’m sad.  I’ve cried because I know I won’t see someone I love again on earth.  I’ve cried for the sheer fact that I knew other people were hurting and it hurt me too.  To be honest, I’m crying right now.
I know where my neighbor/fellow cancer fighter/close friend is.  He’s in heaven.  He’s healed.  It’s hard being the ones left behind sometimes because we love and miss them so much.  I smile when I think about where he is now.  Smiling is good.
Today was hard.  The ceremony was beautiful and his wife showed unearthly strength as she spoke to everyone about the person her husband was.  He meant so much to so many of us.  The songs seemed to be one of the hardest things.  I think they give us a pure and direct connection to God and His glory.
After the ceremony and gravesite we all went back to the church and had a meal.  It was nice to hang out and spend some time with others who had just been through the same thing.  The meal was lovely.  At one point during the meal I looked over and one of our friends was holding out her pill box and Todd was picking something out.  What’s going on here?!  We’re in church.  Todd had a headache and was getting some medicine.  It just seemed really funny at the time.  I try to find the humor even in tough times
There really wasn’t much to my day but I feel like I’ve run a marathon.  I am completely wiped out.  I fully intend to fall asleep in the very near future.   I’m not really hungry but I am thirsty.  I’m just going to drink some water tonight.  My song of the day is Chris Tomlin’s “I Will Rise”.  “I can say it is well… no more sorrow, no more pain,…”
I know this isn’t “goodbye” it’s just “see ya later” though it sometimes feels like “goodbye”.  Kenton I love you man!   You fought the fight and finished the race.  We should have known you would come in first. 

Saturday, January 29, 2011

I'll carry you, when you need a friend



I heart cheeseburgers!

1/29/11 – Hello everyone.  Today has been a bitter sweet day for me.  I am feeling good for the most part.  A little tired.  Today was the visitation for my neighbor/fellow cancer fighter/close friend.  It hasn’t been an easy day.
How do you wake up knowing that you have to go and say good-bye to one of your good friends?  How does one prepare for that?  I honestly don’t know. 
This morning Todd and I were waking up and cleaning the house a little.  I look over at Todd and he is crying.  I look at the TV and it’s on ESPN.  What’s going on?!  I ask Todd and he said that it just switched over to ESPN from something we had recorded and when the TV flipped the first thing he saw and heard was “Rock, Chalk, Jayhawk, KU” chanted by a ton of Kansas fans at College Game Day.  Our friend was a huge Kansas basketball fan.  It’s just kind of weird finding your husband crying to College Game Day – I mean, it’s normal during Auburn football, but this is basketball season.
Todd and I met our close friend group outside the funeral home and we all walked in together.  I have learned through all of this the sheer importance of friends.  It is so easy to take people for granted.  We all hung out a lot.  It is easy to get used to seeing people and not even consider how much their friendship truly means.  My friends are truly awesome.  I love that we hug more now.  We say we love each other and know that we really mean it.  There isn’t anything shallow when it comes down to it.  I know that these people are there for me come what may and I have never been more overwhelmed with love.  We all walked into the funeral home together.  It just seemed so unreal.  Looking at him, it still didn’t seem real because it didn’t look like the real “him”.  The video with pictures just about did me in.  What is it about seeing someone you love the way you remember them, listening to powerful music, and knowing that you’ll never get those moments again.  All you have are the memories.  The memories are just so special but they seem like not enough.  Not nearly enough. 
I want to be a 2 year old and stomp my feet and shout, “God!  Why?  Why? I just don’t understand.”  I want to pitch a fit until I get my way.  I am forgetting something very important – pitching a fit never got me anywhere growing up (Janice Harden wouldn’t stand for that).  Why would I believe that it would get me anywhere now?  It’s hard to remember that my friend is in a place with no more pain, no more cancer, and is fully healed – hard to remember, but oh so true.  Maybe I feel like I need to DO something.  Crying has never been my strong suit.  I’m too much like my Granny.  It’s not that we don’t feel it’s just that we show our emotions differently.  I would much prefer to cry and get it out than to just sit and think about it but that’s what I do.
I met a lot of new people today.  My situation and my friend’s have shown me just how good people can be.  People who you don’t even know care, they truly care.  How cool is that?  I never would have thought that people would connect the way they do, but I guess when it comes down to it we are all very similar.  It was nice to hug so many people and be able to talk about my friend and laugh.  It was mentioned that I probably shouldn’t be around so many people because of the chemo – oh, my gosh!  I completely didn’t even think about that.  I’m stayed at home for the 2nd part of the visitation.  I was glad I was able to show up for the first part. 
On our way home from the funeral home I wanted a cheeseburger (imagine that).  Yeah!  I decided to branch out and tried Krystal.  Todd and I got a sack of Krystal’s!  There were so many of them.  I did my part but I couldn’t put as big a dent in them as I would have preferred.  I would love a smoothie but I still can’t have the cool stuff yet.  One of my friends from home mentioned the whole “footprints” thing.  How God will carry you or walk beside you when you need some strength.  That definitely applies to me now on various levels.  It made me think of one of my favorite Leona Lewis song’s “Footprints in the Sand”.  It’s a great song.  I've listened to it 5 times straight now.  It always helps to know that someone will carry you, when you need a friend.  Sometimes that's all we need - a friend to be with us through it all.
Tomorrow is the funeral so it will probably be another heavy blog.  Thanks for sticking with me even through the tough stuff.  Night y’all!

Friday, January 28, 2011

That's what she said

1/28/11 – I swear I have more super powers since starting chemo.  Yes, I still have my original super power (extraordinarily cold feet) but I also have a bionic nose.  I’m not sure exactly when it started but my sniffer is on over drive.  I can smell pretty much anything no matter where I am in the house.  What is odd is that the things I smell don’t smell how I know they should.  You may remember that I was complaining about some weird saline smell around our kitchen.  I finally figured out that the smell was coming from some oranges.  Oranges are not supposed to smell like saline.  Everything seems to take on more of a chemical smell to me right now.  Very odd.  I’m going to have to find a way to use this super power for good.  Suggestions are welcome.  My taste is also off.  I was drinking water this morning and I promise you my regular water tasted like Florida water to me, and I know I’m not at the beach.
This chemo stuff is discouraging.  Those of you who read the blog regularly know that on the whole I feel good.  I feel like me.  Well, imagine you felt just like your regular self but then you started to feel weak, food tasted bad, smelled weird, your throat hurt, and you were hungry but you didn’t want to swallow anything.  It just doesn’t make sense.  How does someone go from being “perfectly healthy” to having cancer?  How do you go from knowing you have cancer and feeling good to feeling puny?  I don’t like to not feel in control and the one thing that I don’t seem to have right now is that very thing – control.  Hello!  I would like some control back please. 
I don’t want to be a Debbie Downer but I want people to realize that this isn’t easy.  I don’t think I realized how hard this was until yesterday.  We hear of people having chemo on a somewhat regular basis but until you’ve experienced it you have no clue.  I don’t say that to be mean but can you honestly imagine waking up feeling the way I mentioned earlier or going to sleep with your throat hurting and neck and shoulders being sore to the touch?  It’s no joke.  I now have a new respect for all the ones who have gone before me.  This isn’t easy.  Yes, I am a diva and I will always remain one but even a diva has to be real from time to time. 
The mouthwash was just as horrible as I predicted.  It is a mouthwash that is supposed to help with mouth sores.  During chemo your mouth gets very dry so you are at risk of developing mouth sores that can go all the way down your throat.  As soon as I started to feel one I got a prescription for the mouthwash.  Pretty funny getting a prescription for mouthwash.  The bottle looked really creepy and the stuff was really thick.  You swish and swallow the mouthwash.  I don’t know what held back my gag reflex but I was able to drink a little of the stuff.  It tasted horrible but it worked.  It made my whole mouth and throat numb.  Very weird.  I’m crossing my fingers I won’t need to use it anymore – crossing my fingers, but not holding my breath.
I think I need to get out more because nothing funny is really happening around here.  The last few days I have worked, slept, and watched a little TV.  Not even anything all that entertaining on TV.  Buster and Percy basically take care of themselves with Percy and Stella chasing each other around from time to time.  Yep, I definitely need to get out more.  It doesn’t seem like Friday. 
Oh, I did get a “Diva” sign.  It is pretty awesome.  It was sent to me by a very special young lady and is hanging on my pantry door by my apron so each day I can remind myself just how much of a diva I am – like I would forget! 
Tonight I went to Five Guys – cheeseburgers, I’m tellin’ ya, cheeseburgers.  There is something wonderful about a Five Guys little cheeseburger and fries.  It hit the spot.  I keep seeing commercials for Totino’s pizza rolls.  I could totally go for some of those.  My song of the day is “Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head”.  I hang out around the part where it says “I’m never gonna stop the rain by complainin’.”
Night y’all!